Faith2378
09-11-2012, 03:38 AM
I need some advice. (sorry about the novel)
I have been unable to work for 6 months due to severe anxiety and depression. During this time my mom has been an amazing support! My dad not so much. He does not seem to understand how incapacitating both illnesses can be physically and how when its a chemical imbalance it is harder to get over then by just using positive thought (don't get me wrong I understand that positive thought helps but I don't believe it is the fix all and will allow you to be back at work the next day). Through out this whole time that I have been off work my dad has told me many things including that I should just think positively and go back to work, that if I sound to depressed one day he is going to call the cops on me to put me in the hospital, that I think its all about me and that he is done with my "shit", and that I don't do anything (which is not true) and my sister is going to leave me if I don't change (she lives with me). This is just the beginning of the insults. When this first started I truthfully believed that he was not trying to be rude or uncaring but that he just wasn't thinking before he was speaking or how his words would affect me. Thinking back over the past 6 months I can remember only 2 conversations that have not been negative with my dad.
Over the last 2 weeks my dad has actually been taken off work for depression. I'm not sure what to do. I wish I could help him through it. He yells at me every time I don't call him or he tells me that I am making his depression worse because of me not calling him, but how can I put myself through being insulted and anxiety attacks when ever I talk to him or he comes to my house just to possibly make him feel better? When ever my dad calls me, tells me he's coming to my house, or shows up unannounced I have an anxiety attack. I have asked him to at least give me warning so I can mentally prepare for him showing up but he has said he wont do that. He has told me that it is not all about me, its all about him. He goes on these stints where he yells at me, insults me, and runs away but then a day or so later he texts or calls to say hes sorry and expects me to act like everything is all okay. I have made progress during this time I have been off work with counselling, group therapy, and meds but every time I talk to him I feel like I take steps back in my progress.
I have no clue what to do! my family has always been pretty close and I have such a hard time with the thought of just cutting him out of my life for now but how do I keep putting myself through the abuse (which he hasn't had a history of with me) and harming my own mental health?
I have been unable to work for 6 months due to severe anxiety and depression. During this time my mom has been an amazing support! My dad not so much. He does not seem to understand how incapacitating both illnesses can be physically and how when its a chemical imbalance it is harder to get over then by just using positive thought (don't get me wrong I understand that positive thought helps but I don't believe it is the fix all and will allow you to be back at work the next day). Through out this whole time that I have been off work my dad has told me many things including that I should just think positively and go back to work, that if I sound to depressed one day he is going to call the cops on me to put me in the hospital, that I think its all about me and that he is done with my "shit", and that I don't do anything (which is not true) and my sister is going to leave me if I don't change (she lives with me). This is just the beginning of the insults. When this first started I truthfully believed that he was not trying to be rude or uncaring but that he just wasn't thinking before he was speaking or how his words would affect me. Thinking back over the past 6 months I can remember only 2 conversations that have not been negative with my dad.
Over the last 2 weeks my dad has actually been taken off work for depression. I'm not sure what to do. I wish I could help him through it. He yells at me every time I don't call him or he tells me that I am making his depression worse because of me not calling him, but how can I put myself through being insulted and anxiety attacks when ever I talk to him or he comes to my house just to possibly make him feel better? When ever my dad calls me, tells me he's coming to my house, or shows up unannounced I have an anxiety attack. I have asked him to at least give me warning so I can mentally prepare for him showing up but he has said he wont do that. He has told me that it is not all about me, its all about him. He goes on these stints where he yells at me, insults me, and runs away but then a day or so later he texts or calls to say hes sorry and expects me to act like everything is all okay. I have made progress during this time I have been off work with counselling, group therapy, and meds but every time I talk to him I feel like I take steps back in my progress.
I have no clue what to do! my family has always been pretty close and I have such a hard time with the thought of just cutting him out of my life for now but how do I keep putting myself through the abuse (which he hasn't had a history of with me) and harming my own mental health?