Advice and advice needed...

[laurandisorder]

Hey everyone.
It has been a while since I posted and I hope people are well, or as well as they can be. I wanted to share some of the things I have been working though with my psychologist and also I need to ask for some advice. I'm going through one of the worst times of my life and it is getting increasingly hard to function.

Firstly some interesting tidbits from therapy that I am using:
1. People can not pass out from anxiety attacks.
I thought I HAD passed out from one and I talked it through with my Dr and she shut me down saying that it is impossible. I was under the impression that I fainted from hyperventilation because I swear I passed out in a panic in my worst ever attack. She thinks I was dehydrated, hadn't eaten enough or medication made it happen.
2. Bring it on technique.
Ever tried to will yourself to sleep? Well you'll know how hard it is to force your body to sleep when you're over thinking it. My psychologist has recommend I try to bring the anxiety on when I notice symptoms. It's kind of working - I get too scared to do it at work, but at home, I'll notice my breathing or heart rate is off and instead of freaking out I try to make it worse and it doesn't get worse!
3. Take a scientific 'observer' approach.
Take not of your symptoms and record them. Analyst how long they last and when they fade.

I just though I'd share, even though people have probably heard them before.

Now for my dilemma.

I am supposed to be splitting from my partner of 8 years. He has bad depression and is unable to treat me well. Whilst I have had to work through all my anxiety issues, he has had 12 of the last 18 months off work. He doesn't do much around the house and garden and plays games a lot of the time.

I am supposed to be leaving in two weeks - when I'm on holidays and my sister and parents are really happy about this and are trying to help me find a house to rent.

Problem is that anxiety has been upping the ante for the last few weeks. I am having attacks at work, attacks in therapy, attacks on my own, attacks out, attacks with friends. When it comes down to it, I am scared to leave because I don't want to deal with anxiety by myself, all alone in a strange house by myself.

I'm not saying I'm never going to leave, just that I cant leave right now (it's the most stressful time of year for me- I have a LOT at stake), I can't risk messing up at work.

I don't want to leave my house, my dog and my safe place right now. I explained this to my sister and she ripped me a new one :( I am so scared of disappointing my family. I'm just not strong enough to go right now. I have spent over a quarter of my life with my partner and I know I'm 'settling' or whatever, but I'm just not ready and they can't respect that.

It's heartbreaking and I feel really alone and scared. I don't want my family to disown me because they hate the person I am with.

Sorry for the essay. A+ if you got through all that.

Laur

[dazza]

Hi Laura

1. People can not pass out from anxiety attacks.

Actually, this isn't true. You can faint but it is very rare.

Fainting is normally caused by low blood pressure which is usually the opposite to what happens during a panic attack.
However, there are two known conditions which can cause fainting during an attack and they are:

1/ The person actually stops breathing (very rare)

2/ The fear of fainting can actually cause it (in a similar way to other health anxieties which often cause or simulate the very
issue they are affraid of)

2. Bring it on technique.

I'll have to try that one!

3. Take a scientific 'observer' approach.

This is precisely what I've done.
Although I've hated every second of anixety disorder, I also find it absolutely fascinating from a scientific perspective.
I've always been quite interested in medicine/biology and anxiety is a real treat to study! lol

I am supposed to be splitting from my partner of 8 years.

Bloody hell, not ANOTHER forum breakup! I've read a good half-dozen of late.

I've always known that relationships are very high up in the anxiety rankings and from some of the posts I've read recently, I
am seeing solid proof of this.

Let's face facts - this is one of the hardest decisions/actions anyone has to take.
There appears to be so much at stake because of the perceived massive life change that's about to occur, however, since you KNOW
for sure that this is the RIGHT decision, then rest assured there's a nice, shiny, trunk of gold waiting for you on the other side.

Yes, there will be tough times ahead, nothing great comes easy, but keep focus on the end-goal; Freedom and happiness.

Life hasn't ended poppet... it's just about to begin.

x