laurandisorder
09-10-2012, 07:45 AM
Hey everyone.
It has been a while since I posted and I hope people are well, or as well as they can be. I wanted to share some of the things I have been working though with my psychologist and also I need to ask for some advice. I'm going through one of the worst times of my life and it is getting increasingly hard to function.
Firstly some interesting tidbits from therapy that I am using:
1. People can not pass out from anxiety attacks.
I thought I HAD passed out from one and I talked it through with my Dr and she shut me down saying that it is impossible. I was under the impression that I fainted from hyperventilation because I swear I passed out in a panic in my worst ever attack. She thinks I was dehydrated, hadn't eaten enough or medication made it happen.
2. Bring it on technique.
Ever tried to will yourself to sleep? Well you'll know how hard it is to force your body to sleep when you're over thinking it. My psychologist has recommend I try to bring the anxiety on when I notice symptoms. It's kind of working - I get too scared to do it at work, but at home, I'll notice my breathing or heart rate is off and instead of freaking out I try to make it worse and it doesn't get worse!
3. Take a scientific 'observer' approach.
Take not of your symptoms and record them. Analyst how long they last and when they fade.
I just though I'd share, even though people have probably heard them before.
Now for my dilemma.
I am supposed to be splitting from my partner of 8 years. He has bad depression and is unable to treat me well. Whilst I have had to work through all my anxiety issues, he has had 12 of the last 18 months off work. He doesn't do much around the house and garden and plays games a lot of the time.
I am supposed to be leaving in two weeks - when I'm on holidays and my sister and parents are really happy about this and are trying to help me find a house to rent.
Problem is that anxiety has been upping the ante for the last few weeks. I am having attacks at work, attacks in therapy, attacks on my own, attacks out, attacks with friends. When it comes down to it, I am scared to leave because I don't want to deal with anxiety by myself, all alone in a strange house by myself.
I'm not saying I'm never going to leave, just that I cant leave right now (it's the most stressful time of year for me- I have a LOT at stake), I can't risk messing up at work.
I don't want to leave my house, my dog and my safe place right now. I explained this to my sister and she ripped me a new one :( I am so scared of disappointing my family. I'm just not strong enough to go right now. I have spent over a quarter of my life with my partner and I know I'm 'settling' or whatever, but I'm just not ready and they can't respect that.
It's heartbreaking and I feel really alone and scared. I don't want my family to disown me because they hate the person I am with.
Sorry for the essay. A+ if you got through all that.
Laur
It has been a while since I posted and I hope people are well, or as well as they can be. I wanted to share some of the things I have been working though with my psychologist and also I need to ask for some advice. I'm going through one of the worst times of my life and it is getting increasingly hard to function.
Firstly some interesting tidbits from therapy that I am using:
1. People can not pass out from anxiety attacks.
I thought I HAD passed out from one and I talked it through with my Dr and she shut me down saying that it is impossible. I was under the impression that I fainted from hyperventilation because I swear I passed out in a panic in my worst ever attack. She thinks I was dehydrated, hadn't eaten enough or medication made it happen.
2. Bring it on technique.
Ever tried to will yourself to sleep? Well you'll know how hard it is to force your body to sleep when you're over thinking it. My psychologist has recommend I try to bring the anxiety on when I notice symptoms. It's kind of working - I get too scared to do it at work, but at home, I'll notice my breathing or heart rate is off and instead of freaking out I try to make it worse and it doesn't get worse!
3. Take a scientific 'observer' approach.
Take not of your symptoms and record them. Analyst how long they last and when they fade.
I just though I'd share, even though people have probably heard them before.
Now for my dilemma.
I am supposed to be splitting from my partner of 8 years. He has bad depression and is unable to treat me well. Whilst I have had to work through all my anxiety issues, he has had 12 of the last 18 months off work. He doesn't do much around the house and garden and plays games a lot of the time.
I am supposed to be leaving in two weeks - when I'm on holidays and my sister and parents are really happy about this and are trying to help me find a house to rent.
Problem is that anxiety has been upping the ante for the last few weeks. I am having attacks at work, attacks in therapy, attacks on my own, attacks out, attacks with friends. When it comes down to it, I am scared to leave because I don't want to deal with anxiety by myself, all alone in a strange house by myself.
I'm not saying I'm never going to leave, just that I cant leave right now (it's the most stressful time of year for me- I have a LOT at stake), I can't risk messing up at work.
I don't want to leave my house, my dog and my safe place right now. I explained this to my sister and she ripped me a new one :( I am so scared of disappointing my family. I'm just not strong enough to go right now. I have spent over a quarter of my life with my partner and I know I'm 'settling' or whatever, but I'm just not ready and they can't respect that.
It's heartbreaking and I feel really alone and scared. I don't want my family to disown me because they hate the person I am with.
Sorry for the essay. A+ if you got through all that.
Laur