PaperStreet
09-09-2012, 12:36 PM
Before I begin, I was diagnosed with anxiety/panic disorder and depression many years ago. I've been off and on prescription medication for a decade although I haven't been for the last three years while trying to deal with my condition through holistic medicine.
Last week my girlfriend of over two years finalized our break up (due mostly to my mental conditions) and I moved to another city to regroup. I found a wonderful room in a very nice, modern home in a wonderful neighborhood. The catch is that I live with a married couple in their mid-40's (I'm in my mid 30's) with a 12 year old daughter. I met the family through an ad on Craigslist that I posted looking for a room. We spoke often about what kind of routine living in the house would be, what was expected and how, even though I would not have a private entrance, I was able to come and go as I pleased and my privacy would always be respected.
Now that I've moved in here, the problem isn't with them at all, it's with me. The family is extremely nice to me, they're respectful and polite in every way. When I gave a lot of my stuff to my ex when we moved out because I just didn't want to deal with it, the family offered to loan me a few things until I got situated without me having even mentioning anything about it. I'm afraid the issues I'm having are entirely within my own head. The breakup is hitting me hard and I'm having trouble dealing with it all and the feelings about that and the environment adjustment are very overwhelming right now and I feel sometimes that the family might think I misrepresented myself when we first met.
Since the breakup I started smoking again (I had presented myself as a non-smoker) although I plan to quit again very soon and I always smoke outside. I billed myself as laid back and drama free (which I feel that I am when I'm not dealing with anxiety-induced situations) but since I moved in I've been nervous and started overcompensating by trying too hard to sort of prove to them that they didn't make a mistake in renting the room to me. I just don't know yet how to calm down and just live in this relaxed atmostphere these great people are trying to maintain. They keep telling me everything is okay but I keep apologizing for everything I'm doing anyway or overexplaining my actions and getting all stuttery and nervous around them. I know that's going to get annoying very quickly and I keep thinking one day they're going to just tell me it's not working out. If anyone has any thoughts or insight on a situation like this, I'd be very grateful.
Thanks so much for reading.
Last week my girlfriend of over two years finalized our break up (due mostly to my mental conditions) and I moved to another city to regroup. I found a wonderful room in a very nice, modern home in a wonderful neighborhood. The catch is that I live with a married couple in their mid-40's (I'm in my mid 30's) with a 12 year old daughter. I met the family through an ad on Craigslist that I posted looking for a room. We spoke often about what kind of routine living in the house would be, what was expected and how, even though I would not have a private entrance, I was able to come and go as I pleased and my privacy would always be respected.
Now that I've moved in here, the problem isn't with them at all, it's with me. The family is extremely nice to me, they're respectful and polite in every way. When I gave a lot of my stuff to my ex when we moved out because I just didn't want to deal with it, the family offered to loan me a few things until I got situated without me having even mentioning anything about it. I'm afraid the issues I'm having are entirely within my own head. The breakup is hitting me hard and I'm having trouble dealing with it all and the feelings about that and the environment adjustment are very overwhelming right now and I feel sometimes that the family might think I misrepresented myself when we first met.
Since the breakup I started smoking again (I had presented myself as a non-smoker) although I plan to quit again very soon and I always smoke outside. I billed myself as laid back and drama free (which I feel that I am when I'm not dealing with anxiety-induced situations) but since I moved in I've been nervous and started overcompensating by trying too hard to sort of prove to them that they didn't make a mistake in renting the room to me. I just don't know yet how to calm down and just live in this relaxed atmostphere these great people are trying to maintain. They keep telling me everything is okay but I keep apologizing for everything I'm doing anyway or overexplaining my actions and getting all stuttery and nervous around them. I know that's going to get annoying very quickly and I keep thinking one day they're going to just tell me it's not working out. If anyone has any thoughts or insight on a situation like this, I'd be very grateful.
Thanks so much for reading.