Making new friends w/anxiety

[brittany09]

How do you all meet new people? I want some new friends because all of my old friends decided to screw me over. I never hang out with anyone except my boyfriend & family. But...I'm a private person and don't want to tell everyone I have anxiety. My anxiety is completely unpredictable(as I imagine everyone's is too)so I could bail out on plans at any time or leave early. I feel like this would be hard to explain to people that don't have the same thing. A lot of times going to the movies and going out to eat are stressful to me so I don't even really have fun. I don't like feeling "stuck" somewhere. Anything can trigger anxiety for me. On top of that,my standards for friends are high. Not interested in having any more "friends" that would gladly do something shitty to me the first chance they get. Any advice or anybody that can relate??

[Enduronman]

I've replied to this twice!!! GAWD!!! said I wasnt logged in!!! dont smash the computer...

[Enduronman]

It keeps loggin me out!!!!

[Enduronman]

YAY!! ME AGAIN!!! GAWD!!!

I met some complete strangers today at the local BIG BOX retailer. I sat down on a bench next to a couple. They were from Canada. He was disabled (RA like I too have) and was riding on the store scooter (hope I dont end up there) and she had just gotten out of the local hospital after having her gallbladder removed. I struck up some small talk with them and assured him that his wife was going to be fine. He was amazed that she would go into the hospital, surgery, glue, done, bye..Modern Medicine. Pretty cool, anyway why did I sit down there? To "test" myself and my own ability because of Mr. Anxiety and the havoc he'd caused me for decades. I learned to place myself into situations that I would generally not be comfortable in that would give me the "tools" I needed to get a grip on anxiety. I will not see them again, but these are all vital to my overall success longterm.

As far as the dinner and movie things go, I can do the dinner thing as long as I'm familiar with the restaurant and also I choose my own comfort zone in the place. I must be able to see all of the surroundings, people, exits, who enters, and never have my back turned to anyone. Why? IDK but it helps me to cope. The movie thing, I can not do. I took my then 11 yr old daughter to see (Step Brothers) as that was my LAST time at a theatre. I was in a panic over some of the scenes, and it was like $40, and the seats are like grade school chairs..It sucked! Never again..

From your post, that I've tried to REPLY TO 4 FRIGGIN TIMES it seems that you don't offer up any "trust" to anyone new as the so called friends that burnt you still leave that thought in your memory. Literally burnt into your mind. Not everyone is out to take from you or hurt you and usually people that are self-centered are a relatively easy "read". Give some people a chance to earn your trust again, and also test yourself too. I think maybe I had even posted some suggestions in the social phobia area for people that couldnt go into stores. The same method can be used in any situations whether dinner or movie..

There's some thoughts or advice. You've gotta work to get yourself out of "The Anxiety Matrix"..
1. Go see a Dr.
2. Get some meds to get this under your control.
3. Arrange to see a therapist, councelor,..a COMPLETE stranger to you. This is vital.
4. Let yer guard down abit, but not too much..

I HOPE THIS ONE MAKES IT UP HERE OR IM'A GO IED FA SHO!

E-Man..