Anyone aktually fear vomiting?

[Angel]

i thought i had konquered almost everything, but this one thing. I have had it since i was around six years old.

I think i might have a stomach virus. I started feeling sick yesterday morning. I thought it might have been from the alcohol, but it just wouldnt go away. And now i hear EVERYONE is getting a damn stomach virus.

Now.


I KAN handle vomit and blood and pus (maybe not pus) and what not, BTU i kan not havdle the AKT of vomiting.

It skares the fuck out of me, and everytime i feel as if i am going to, i get all jittery and shakey and i hear things and its just horrible fucking ANXIETY all over again..

such a pain. I still havent thrown up...but i am seriously dreading it, IF i do have to.


Anyways to relax, in this situation?



Before last december, i hadnt thrown up in twelve years. Food, at least.



man i feel fuckign sick.

[scatmantom]

yep I hate it, and getting sick used to be one of the main causes of my anxiety, and when I got anxious it led to me vomiting so its a bit of a cycle lol

[Angel]

This doesnt make any sense though.

I kan almost put my nose to some vomit and not think anything of it (its usually my friends throwing up, and its all alcohol anyway) and i kan stand right in front of someone when they are vomiting, in order to help them out.


BUT when it komes to me, oh fucking no, i start akting like a bitch about it.

its tiresome.

And its already been Eight days...and im still like this.

fucking stupid if you ask me.

[Angel]

God damn it people..

I THINK i might just be drunk enough to make myself throw up.
Just do it....whats the worst that kould happen?


I kould probably throw up to death like the dreams that i have...and i dont want to die.

fuck it.

God damn it i lost my bravery.