I've come t complain... again..

[camilla91]

Well got a lovely surprise yesterday.. Very lovely.
It all started when a woman wrote on my ex partners facebook wall, seemed a bit odd because I'd never heard of her..
I inboxed her and asked her how she knew..
Now it just so happened that this woman was a really decent person..
Because on asking her that question she asked me how long me and him had split up. I said a few days ago...
Yeah here comes the best bit. He's been msging her for months asking her to meet up with him. Telling her he loves her and misses her, its just through pure luck he chose a woman that listened to her instincts. She refused to meet him because she knew 'something was off about him'
She had absolutely no idea about me.
He had told her he split from me months ago.
He told her about my problems, saying I've 'gone crazy' he even asked her into MY house while the nurses were telling I was on the verge of a breakdown.
She never went.
They met on a course. That started in june.
Same time I got ill.
In that time I was so proud of how he was, how much he was helping me.
I even spoke of marriage.
Strangely I'm not mad.
Do you know why? Because he's just lost the best thing that he ever had.
If I could speak to him now do you know what I'd say? Good luck finding someone like me.
Who understood you like me.
Who love you like I did.
He free to run arouns after any woman he wants now. But I'm safe in the knowledge, he'll never do better.
I'm also safe in the knowledge that I will.
Got a date on tuesday with an old flame.
I left him for my ex.
Obvious bad choice.
Anyway, today is the start of the rest of my life and I'm damn well gunna enjoy it!!

[jhunter89]

That's a kick in the teeth! Well done for being so strong camilla! I know if it were me I'd still be in bed crying! X

[99saleen87]

First of all, I really like your name. Eventually I'm gonna name one of my daughters Camilla. C'mon Camilla this is a no-brainer. You need to understand that when we are going through hard times with our lives, like in this case with stupid anxiety, we need good supportive and comprehensive people around us. Please consider this. This will be the key to your success. Anything that hurts you emotionally specially when you have anxiety/depression is just "garbage" And what do we do with garbage? We dispose of it. One last thing. Pray to god, he listens to you and will make you stronger. Good luck.. We are here to support each other .

[camilla91]

Thanks you two, he's not worth crying over, I've not shed a tear, I don't know what I'm feeling probably just betrayal.. That 'garbage' has definately been thrown out. I'm still waiting for him to try lie his way out of it.. That's something to look forward to.
Today? Today is about me and the only real men in my life. My son and my daddy. Any effort I put in with my ex is going to go on them.
And yeah. Think I'm going to start talking to god again. Sort of lost my faith while I've been ill...

[Enduronman]

You got this Camelhoof!

I think you knew you made the right decision the day you told Pillsbury the GTFO!. Have a great day..;)

E-Man..

[camilla91]

Camelhoof? LOL I love that one!
Todays been one of the best days ever! Not anxiety wise (its been playing up all day) but life-wise its been really good!
That's 'old flame' I mentioned earlier? He got on the same bus as me! LOL I saw him get on and hid! Actually hid like a child, telling me 2 year old son to duck down so he wouldn't see us, didn't help when he saw me and told me to get up LOL actually laughed for the first time in ages. I can't rememebr the last time I laughed before anxiety came along.
He got off the bus with me and walked me all the way to my dads even though he was going in the opposite direction.. He hasn't changed a bit.. Hopefully this is the start of something good..
Not gunna get my hopes up though! Lol
A book just been delivered to my house on 'how to beat depersonalisation through CBT' really looking forward to that :)
And... I put my ex in his place. LOL he demanded he see my son when and where he likes.. I told him I am his mother. He lives with me. Therefore I want a days notice before he arranges anything then I will tel him whether that's okay or not. Also reminded him its maintenance day on sunday :) tried to worm his way out of it and I stopped him in his tracks with 'you don't wanna pay for ur son you don't see him. End of'
Oh I'm doing well.
My strange friend are u friends with the offensive woman yet? Has the situation improved any? I hope it has :)

[brittany09]

What a piece. Bet you he will regret treating you like that and will be so jealous someday when he hears your dating somebody else. Some people can manipulate and hide things so good you never see it coming. At least you learned from it.

[Enduronman]

Glad your day is actually looking quite well! I'm doing great! No, the (offensive and obvious) woman is not around here either. I do not want to go through that again!! I have a "photographic" memory so whenever she tried to say "you've got it all wrong and words aren't in the correct order" bulls**t it just made things WAY worse. I do not forget words, order, sequence, timing, emphasis, expression,..nothing.. I don't wanna hear anymore of the BS or what she says is in "disarray or disorder" because I KNOW it isn't...I am fine just the way it is.

E-Man..:)

[camilla91]

Wow! Good for you!
Really stuck to what you said! I've kicked him out that many times but always let him back so well done!
This is first time I've been cheated on though and it'll bloody be the last time aswell! He'll never step foot in my house again. Ever. When I had it out with him he even had cheek to say 'aww and I was thinking of coming back home aswell, guess I can't do that now' damn right!!!
Anyway, thanks for your support everyone! Means a lot <3