I don't know what to :-/

[joydaisy]

I all, I'm new here today, I don't know where to start really, but here goes...
At the age of 21 months old I was adopted to my lovely parents, couldn't have ended up with a better mum and dad, but.. I think that I have some underlying issues within myself, I can't put a pin point on exactly what It is but its not making me a very happy person!
I have two beautiful children who I absolutely love to bits, there my whole world, so basically I need to sort whatever it is out so I can be a happy mummy for my children (and for myself)
I've been to my GP numerous times about this i'm feeling ,but he just keeps prescribing anti-depressants, they do take the edge off, but they never really work! I don't think I'm depressed, I have been in the past but this is different!

This is affecting my everyday life now, I really feel very anxious, the reason I looked for this app is because I was lying in bed about an hour ago, and all of a sudden I started to think about how bad I was feeling (if that makes sense) the more I thought about it the more i panicked, then I found it hard to breathe!
I was suppose to go back to work 2 years ago after I'd had my first child, but found it virtually impossible to even think about it, we decided I'd stay home and be a full time mummy, I then went on to have our second child, I've been recently thinking about having to go back to work, as financially we can't carry on off just one wage, but I can't do it, everytime I think about going back and looking for job makes me feel sick and I panic!
Just before I had my little boy 2 years ago, I was on my way to work and had a full blown panic attack outside in the car, it came from nowhere, I couldn't go in and had to leave, I put myself on maternity leave from that day but never went back!
I'm so worried and I feel like a failure to my children and partner! I need to just get a grip an get over whatever it is that's bothering me. People can get up and go to work and walk through the door fine, why can't I?
Xx

[NatalieRegina]

Well, I don't have children myself but I can understand how tough that must be to manage a home and try to cope. Sure, people go to work and shop and do things everyday that aren't a challenge for them, but you can't compare yourself to them. I'm sure there are loads of 'them' who wouldn't know the first thing about raising a child or handling all of the responsibilities you do on a daily basis, so don't diminish that.
Sometimes anxiety is a symptom of larger things (not necessarily bad). What I mean is.. maybe you really just don't want to go back to work. You know you need to ($), but in your heart of hearts, you may genuinely want to spend that time with your kids and be at home. I'm not diagnosing, just giving a possible scenario. (I used to have bad panic attacks when I was on my way to work and eventually, I realized that it was because I didn't want to work there anymore. )
If that's the case, that's ok, too. You'll just have to get creative as far as the money situation goes. What are your talents/hobbies/marketable skills? This may be getting farther into the post than you intended but it's something to think about. Look at it as an opportunity, not a limitation. ;)