1st time in forum and need advice

[missrkm]

Here is my story so you an understand my problem. 10 months ago I became really poorly- vomitting, blinding headaches and diorreah. After ct scans, camera procedures, ecg and countless other tests my gp have basically said see how i get on over next few months as they cant find the main cause of my problems except ibs and too much serratonin.

I collapsed twice in april which scared me half to death. At home i feel safe and calm. As soon as i am walking down my road my heart is pounding, vision blurred, nausea and can cause diorreah. This is completely controlling my life, just going on the train leaves me feeling terrified and i end up with dizziness, numbness and the shakes.

My dad suffered with anxiety for years and his advice is to basically get over it. I now know medically that a collapse wont happen and I am not going to suddenly drop dead but I cant control this anxiety. I understand that I am being irrational but my mind cant accept it.?!

My bf has been amazing but i feel like its controlling his social life. We have been of this week for some days out. Both times we tried to go to chester for a day trip I had to come home. i just stress myself until I am ill. Our week off has turned into one short outing.

I need help. All advices welcome and much needed

Thanks

[annalea(:]

Hello Missrkm!

I would defiantly suggest going to see a therapist or a councillor, They will help you a great deal!
They can introduce you to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and trust me, I've been in your shoes and i am getting better!
They can show you techniques to reduce anxiety such as breathing exercises and distracting your mind :)
One breathing technique I've been taught is too breath in less, breath out more. That will calm your breathing and pulse, also because you are concentrating on it, its distracting your mind :)
One thing you could try is Rescue Remedy, a calming spray :) Two spritzes on the tongue followed by breathing slowly and you will be right as rain in no time!

I really hope this advice helps!
AnnaLea
Xxx

[missrkm]

Thanks so much for Your advice. I will definately try your suggestions. I am trying to push through and yesterday walked to the shops for a few bits.

My heart was racing and vision distorted but i forced myself to buy what i needed and walk home at a normal pace. By the time I walked in the front door I could feel the throbbing of my heart in my ears.

I think is annoying me more as I can now accept that it is anxiety but my mind is still being irrational. How much cbt treatment does someone like me usually require?

X

[annalea(:]

Thats brilliant!! Im glad you managed to do that and do it at a normal pace :)
With CBT it depends on how you can handle things.
What I'm doing at the moment is for my OCD.
My councillor had me write down a list of this starting at never be able to handle, in your case maybe you could put going out on a day trip to Chester with your boyfriend at the top. Then you work your way down on things you can handle, at the bottom of the list you can put going to the shops. Then you will put your self in these situations step by step. All you have to do is a take a trip to the shops and then write down how you felt, then another day do it again, soon enough your anxiety of going to the shops will be gone, then you move up the next step on your list.
The thing is, you might have to repeat things several times or just do it the once, its how you handle the anxiety :)
Sorry that might be vague but what i am talking about will be explained to you by your councillor or therapist if you do choose to go :)
I honestly think going to a therapist or councillor is the best option, this doesn't sound as if its just a phase your going though :)
AnnaLea
Xxx

[missrkm]

Thanks annalea.

I have decided today to go out not sure where. In the car i am fine but public transport or walking is what gets me anxious.

So today i am going to try a walk and stay out long passed the symptoms. I just need to keep myself that nothing bad will happen. Medically I am fit and healthy.

Hopefully with some encouragement we will both soon be living 'normal' lives but still offering support to others who need it. :)
Xx

[NatalieRegina]

Hi missrkm,

I've read your symptoms and I can totally sympathize. I used to get really bad dizziness when I was out in public, shopping or walking by myself. I went to doctor after doctor and they did all kinds of tests, only to find out I'm healthy as a horse. Basically, it's your mind doing it for you. (Thanks mind, NOT.)

I agree with annalea- take little steps in healing. Set small goals and once you're able to tick those off the list, set some more. The most important thing I found is to not run. When I started to feel so anxious I couldn't handle it, I would run to my house, my car, my safe place. It was only after I told myself I wasn't going to do that anymore that the anxiety was decimated. I mean seriously, a huge chunk of it just fell off into the sea and left.

That's my biggest suggestion to you. Whatever goal you have for yourself (shopping alone, for example), if you start to feel anxious, make yourself STAY. Take a couple of deep breaths, shop around, call someone, but stay, stay, stay, girl! Only allow yourself to leave once your anxious feelings have peaked and dissipated a bit (can be just a few minutes). It is so worth it.


Hope that helps,
Natalie Regina

[missrkm]

Thanks for your advice. Went to the beach for a walk with the bf was out for nearly an hour and a half and tried focussing on the positives, breeze in my face, warmth of the sun. Fresh air. And you know what i enjoyed it. I wasn't anxious. Think i need to try doing on my own tomorrow to see how i get on. Probably wasnt too bad as i wasn't alone, usually even a walk to the local shops has me anxious.

I am going to set myself some objectives and see how i get on. I know it wont suddenly be gone over night but realising as scary as the symptoms are, they are natural and cant hurt me is already helping.

Hopefully i am on the right road to recovery :)

[NatalieRegina]

First off, I'm jealous that you have a beach so close to you. :)

And don't beat yourself up too much about having to have someone with you at first. My go-to person was my mom. Eventually, though, you won't need anyone with you. You'll get there. Keep us posted!