Fear of becoming schizo

[mcornejo]

Ey folks my name is mike. I'm new to the four em but not to anxiety. I've been dealing with it for a little over 5 years. Before it I was already suffering from depression. Now I have derealization 24/7 and an intense fear of schizophrenia. For around 3 weeks I've been super afraid of it. I would go on the web so often for symptoms and thoughts etc that now I'm an expert on it. I have gotten to the point where if I hear a noise and I can't find the source of it I freak out. Eventually I just stayed home out of shear exhaustion and fear. Everything would remind me of the schizo. I think of my past and find reasons as to why I must be getting it. Now every time I hear almost any noise I immediately think of someone calling my name. It's become a habit. I'm wondering if anybody has had this experience or anything similar to it. The only thing I can think of that comes close to this is when someone who has gone to war and hears a "beep" from a wrist watch and thinks of a bomb. Sorry for the long post but I seriously need some advice here and want to be thorough. Thx

[camilla91]

Hello :) I don't think I can be thorough because I'm still half asleep lol but I suffer with derealisation too and I one point convinced myself I was schitzophrenic, my mothers schitzophrenic and I've heard all my life 'your gunna end up like ur mum' 'your more likely to have schitzophrenia because your mum has' so when my derealisation started I convinced myself I'd cracked, I saw 9 different mental health nurses, and stayed in a house with nurses around 24\7 for a week. Every single person who saw me told me that its just pure anxiety and depression, I've only been suffering for about a month now and already I've managed to calm it, I KNOW I'm not schitzo because I've seen all the signs with my mum and one of them is not knowing that ur ill. Your constant fear is feeding the anxiety. With my derealisation and distract myself, its gone from having it 24\7 to 3\4 times a day only lasting half hour at a time, ignore the 'I'm going mad' thoughts, if u are going mad so what? Someone will notice and you'll get the help you need, but to me your not mad, nowhere near, like the nurses said to me I'm 'pretty sane considering what's been going on' if I was you I'd stop looking up the symptoms, and get on with life, focus on something else, get a hobby and concentrate only on that, it will get better! The cure is to ignore!
I'll tell you this because it could be relevent, I think a lot of us think schitzophrenics are violent people, there was a woman where I lived that stabbed a 13 year old girl for no reason and killed her. I absolutely convinced myself that I was turning into that woman. I felt she didn't get the help she needed which caused her to do this, then convinced myself I wasn't getting help and was gunna end up hurting somebody aswell, then I saw a nurse who asked me if I could hurt a child, the pure anger I felt towards being asked that question told me I couldn't and also told me I was nothing like this woman. She asked me if I have ever done anything really cruel and felt no shame, again I said no, again I realised I was not like this woman and I was not schitzophrenic.
Believe me, if you was I don't think you'd even have wrote this post, or if you had it would have been pure babble.
You don't have schitzophrenia, and you will not get it aslong as you get the stress and anxiety sorted now.
Stop thinking of your symptoms, learn to live with them and they will go, trust me! :)

[dazza]

Surely, if you were shitzo... you would have written two, opposing posts, both under different usernames? :-D

Sounds like hypersensitivity to me.
A spin-off or side-effect to the constant state of near or actual fight or flight mode.

Nothing to worry about old bean - you're just experiencing what it's like to respond to a lion chase or car crash. A survival instinct, as it were.
(Hard to comprehend but the truth)

[mcornejo]

Hello :) I don't think I can be thorough because I'm still half asleep lol but I suffer with derealisation too and I one point convinced myself I was schitzophrenic, my mothers schitzophrenic and I've heard all my life 'your gunna end up like ur mum' 'your more likely to have schitzophrenia because your mum has' so when my derealisation started I convinced myself I'd cracked, I saw 9 different mental health nurses, and stayed in a house with nurses around 24\7 for a week. Every single person who saw me told me that its just pure anxiety and depression, I've only been suffering for about a month now and already I've managed to calm it, I KNOW I'm not schitzo because I've seen all the signs with my mum and one of them is not knowing that ur ill. Your constant fear is feeding the anxiety. With my derealisation and distract myself, its gone from having it 24\7 to 3\4 times a day only lasting half hour at a time, ignore the 'I'm going mad' thoughts, if u are going mad so what? Someone will notice and you'll get the help you need, but to me your not mad, nowhere near, like the nurses said to me I'm 'pretty sane considering what's been going on' if I was you I'd stop looking up the symptoms, and get on with life, focus on something else, get a hobby and concentrate only on that, it will get better! The cure is to ignore!
I'll tell you this because it could be relevent, I think a lot of us think schitzophrenics are violent people, there was a woman where I lived that stabbed a 13 year old girl for no reason and killed her. I absolutely convinced myself that I was turning into that woman. I felt she didn't get the help she needed which caused her to do this, then convinced myself I wasn't getting help and was gunna end up hurting somebody aswell, then I saw a nurse who asked me if I could hurt a child, the pure anger I felt towards being asked that question told me I couldn't and also told me I was nothing like this woman. She asked me if I have ever done anything really cruel and felt no shame, again I said no, again I realised I was not like this woman and I was not schitzophrenic.
Believe me, if you was I don't think you'd even have wrote this post, or if you had it would have been pure babble.
You don't have schitzophrenia, and you will not get it aslong as you get the stress and anxiety sorted now.
Stop thinking of your symptoms, learn to live with them and they will go, trust me! :)

Thank you for the reply. I really needed the reassurance. Honestly I can't put full confidence in what you say. Nothing personal just the nature of the illness lol. Still I thank you so much. I really needed it.

[camilla91]

I was like that too, that's why I ended up seeing 9 different nurses! LOL don't worry you'll accept it soon :)

[mcornejo]

Surely, if you were shitzo... you would have written two, opposing posts, both under different usernames? :-D

Sounds like hypersensitivity to me.
A spin-off or side-effect to the constant state of near or actual fight or flight mode.

Nothing to worry about old bean - you're just experiencing what it's like to respond to a lion chase or car crash. A survival instinct, as it were.
(Hard to comprehend but the truth)

Wow I love your answer. God this is such an irritating thing to deal with. I just wanna be normal!

[dazza]

Wow I love your answer. God this is such an irritating thing to deal with. I just wanna be normal!

Don't we all...

Took me 8 months to get back to around 90% normality.

Been there, done that, got bored of it, got better...

What you have is totally treatable through cognetive therapy.
Such therapy helps re-train your anxious mess of a brain to start thinking logically instead of stupidly.

Start the therapy off yourself by accepting you have anxiety disorder - the same as 1 in 10 (maybe more) other people around you.
A common disorder which develops through having an overwhelming amount of shit (worries / fears) in your head which
eventually become a permanent fixture and take over your everyday way of thinking.

Once accepted, understand it. (Just told you briefly what's going on in above paragraph)

Having accepted & understood... it's time to relax. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... :-)

The noises around you are part of an everyday, happy harmonisation of stuff working away. Noises make the world go round and are just a audible result of something working or doing it's thing... so stop being so selfish and thinking every noise is to do with you!!! lol

[mcornejo]

Don't we all...

Took me 8 months to get back to around 90% normality.

Been there, done that, got bored of it, got better...

What you have is totally treatable through cognetive therapy.
Such therapy helps re-train your anxious mess of a brain to start thinking logically instead of stupidly.

Start the therapy off yourself by accepting you have anxiety disorder - the same as 1 in 10 (maybe more) other people around you.
A common disorder which develops through having an overwhelming amount of shit (worries / fears) in your head which
eventually become a permanent fixture and take over your everyday way of thinking.

Once accepted, understand it. (Just told you briefly what's going on in above paragraph)

Having accepted & understood... it's time to relax. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... :-)

The noises around you are part of an everyday, happy harmonisation of stuff working away. Noises make the world go round and are just a audible result of something working or doing it's thing... so stop being so selfish and thinking every noise is to do with you!!! lol

^^^^ I think we're all a bit selfish on here lol. Still all this encouraging feedback brought a tear to my eye. Thank you soooooo much

[jon mike]

Some good advice on here. Yes all very treatable. You could even get one of those cognitive programs off the web. Although actually talking to someone often is more of a release than anything I found. I suffered derealisation extremely and didn't know what it was for years and years. When I found out what it was (not mental illness) the relief was overwhelming, I literally accepted it as a side effect to anxiety and it disappeared after about 4 days. The turn around was unimaginable. Life was back to normal after 15 years :-) there is hope. So accepting it as somethin quite normal can be your biggest remedy I believe. Ignoring it may reduce your derealisation because your anxiety level Will lower. Accept it and it Will disappear I promise you.

[mcornejo]

That's amazing. Really?!? 15 years my god how did you cope? How was it when derez went away? Must've been weird

[jon mike]

I just had a very shit life :-) it came and went. But it was always there. The severity of it changed. I didn't know it was anxiety though until about a year ago when it became intolerable. I was in a very very dark place though unexplainable really. It went within 4 days of understanding acceptance :-) :-) :-) :-) made me such a strong person too

[alankay]

I think you are just very anxious and that's that. All the rest is a result of anxiety....nothing more. Alankay

[mcornejo]

Damn I can't imagine. I always find it strange that our brain reacts that way. I mean what if it didnt? Would it be like sensory overload or something

[aforce]

you are not at all schizophrenic ,,,,,its same like pppl think that they have an heart attach ....go into ER ....they develop symptoms and then they are scared ....so you are ....dont
search internet content ...otherwise you will hallucinate ....reality will look llike unreal ...YOUR SYMPTOMS ARE OF ANXIETY ...are you on med ???

[jon mike]

I suppose It would :-) its a product of fight or flight. I've found derealisation is different for different people. For me it was frightening everyday. Everyday I became increasingly paranoid. The earth, clouds, space, time, colours, smells, the sky, sounds etc didn't seem real. Chaotic to say the least. A private hell. I looked normal but there was a war happening inside my mind. I wanted to die but wanted to live to much at the same time. Awful, wish id have just sorted it out from day one. Instead I prolonged my agony because I felt like i would let my family down if it turned out I was mad

[mcornejo]

I suppose It would :-) its a product of fight or flight. I've found derealisation is different for different people. For me it was frightening everyday. Everyday I became increasingly paranoid. The earth, clouds, space, time, colours, smells, the sky, sounds etc didn't seem real. Chaotic to say the least. A private hell. I looked normal but there was a war happening inside my mind. I wanted to die but wanted to live to much at the same time. Awful, wish id have just sorted it out from day one. Instead I prolonged my agony because I felt like i would let my family down if it turned out I was mad

I get what you mean. The promise to myself that if I ever seriously consider suicide I'm going straight to my mom or dad. No matter their judgement. I know they'll always love me. In a weird way this has brought me closer to my family. I was super distant when I was a teen