allyml
08-24-2012, 08:32 PM
I everyone, i am new to the forum and joined here specifically bc it has a good iPad app. :) I just want to share a bit about myself and why I'm here.
I have been having a really tough time as of late; I graduated with my masters in social work in may and have not been able to find a job! I have had to borrow around $6000 from family and friends and I still have found nothing! So, this situation has made me feel incredibly depressed. I feel like I have no control over anything, am afraid ill be evicted if I don't find something soon, am afraid I just won't be able to find work. AND the fact that I feel so terrible is making it really hard for me to do things, stay motivated, or even imagine myself as happy with a job. I'm getting all these thoughts that I'm worthless and that no one will want to hire me.
What makes this so scary Is that my depression was very manageable before, so much so that it was almost a non issue. Before that, though, I struggled for years to dig myself out of the hole and to stop self destructive habits like cutting, drinking, forming harmful relationships, suicidal thoughts. One of the reasons i wanted to be a social worker is that i thought i could teach people to regain health and acquire coping skills like i did.
But, I am really scared now, because I recognize that the symptoms are coming back. I haven't felt this depression in years. I feel like crying a lot, my body feels heavy, doing simple things like taking out the garbage can take up to an hour, I want to sleep all the time, and I am getting negative, blaming, self harming thoughts. It's really terrible and I have been using my coping skills as much as I can, but it's still pretty bad.
So that's what I've been dealing with as of late. I just wanted to reach out since depression sucks! And I could really use people that understand what I'm going through (my bf has absolutely NO clue lol).
I have been having a really tough time as of late; I graduated with my masters in social work in may and have not been able to find a job! I have had to borrow around $6000 from family and friends and I still have found nothing! So, this situation has made me feel incredibly depressed. I feel like I have no control over anything, am afraid ill be evicted if I don't find something soon, am afraid I just won't be able to find work. AND the fact that I feel so terrible is making it really hard for me to do things, stay motivated, or even imagine myself as happy with a job. I'm getting all these thoughts that I'm worthless and that no one will want to hire me.
What makes this so scary Is that my depression was very manageable before, so much so that it was almost a non issue. Before that, though, I struggled for years to dig myself out of the hole and to stop self destructive habits like cutting, drinking, forming harmful relationships, suicidal thoughts. One of the reasons i wanted to be a social worker is that i thought i could teach people to regain health and acquire coping skills like i did.
But, I am really scared now, because I recognize that the symptoms are coming back. I haven't felt this depression in years. I feel like crying a lot, my body feels heavy, doing simple things like taking out the garbage can take up to an hour, I want to sleep all the time, and I am getting negative, blaming, self harming thoughts. It's really terrible and I have been using my coping skills as much as I can, but it's still pretty bad.
So that's what I've been dealing with as of late. I just wanted to reach out since depression sucks! And I could really use people that understand what I'm going through (my bf has absolutely NO clue lol).