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homebird
08-23-2012, 08:23 AM
I haven't posted here in awhile, so hi! *waves*

I have been on lexapro for a year (panic attacks and generalized anxiety). I went to therapy, learned a lot of helpful coping techniques, worked through some panic attacks on my own and was feeling pretty good about things. I decided to wean off the lexapro a month ago because my husband and I would like to have a baby soon.

Last week I had a panic attack. I knew it was coming. I recognized the signs (it was a normal "trigger" for me) and did the things that I learned in therapy. It worked ... sort of. Before therapy I couldn't deal with the panic attacks. Once I had one they just kept coming (multiple a day) and I couldn't get over them without medication. This time I worked through the panic attack, it wasn't as bad as before and and thought I would be able to move on.

But every day since then I have experienced a constant, lingering anxiety. If a panic attack is a 10, I am hovering around a 5 or 6 all day long. It's been a week and I'm just feeling exhausted, mentally and physically. I've tried some natural/herbal things, I've been exercising, cutting out caffeine, keeping myself distracted, etc. I don't know if I should keep trying or if I should just "give up" and go back to my meds. Which I really don't want to go because it means I will have to put off having a baby ... again.

Any advice?

Enduronman
08-23-2012, 09:27 AM
HomeBoid,

I'm sorry to read and see this. You did everything that you thought you couldv'e done. Medication, therapy, somehow formed a solid footing or foundation for which to stand anxiety free, somewhat like the platforms that Olympians receive their medals of valor on. Only to end up right back where you started from. If the (Lexapro) prooved to be helpful in your stabilization for that period of time then there are obviously some things of benefit that it was providing you with whether that be a mere psychological tool because you would take a pill to help with the anxiety kinda like a placebo effect, or the chemical itself was providing you with an actual adjustment to your brains chemicals itself, or the medication somehow masked the thoughts that would cause the anxietal effects itself? You say that you soon began to (recognize the signs of what a normal "trigger" for panic attacks were) so my question to you is, did you forget about these recognizable triggers while taking the (Lexapro) or did these triggers just take on a different form, shape, level of concern? It's obvious that the "transmitters" of anxiety are re-connected once again, but I would like again to ask you another question and that is simply, why? Some degree of this is also going to be caused by the fact that you were taking the (Lexapro) for 365 days or so and then it's suddenly gone. Your brain, your internal systems, everything in general may be retaliating or in some sort of retalitory response as well. There is actually a HUGE number of different variables and different dynamics of anxiety itself, the role it played in your life and mind, and also the reason why it was so easy for "IT" to sneak right back in after all this hard work and effort?

You've tried some natural/herbal things, you're already mentally and physically exhausted again because this battle has returned and the fight has begun again, you've been excercising which is great by the way and have cut out stimulants and also try to distract yourself too etc..etc..

Should you just "give up"? That statement is very powerful and strong in meaning to me, and no it did not antagonize my IED disorder but I can tell you that I can hear my own heartbeat in my ear when I read that sentence...

First off, "giving up" or succumbing to the effects of anxiety and his sinister friends is not an option as this battle will never stop, it will never end, and you will never fully relax, be calm, or lead any sort of so called "normal life." Everyone around you will be standing in the presence of anxiety, fear, worry, concern, and whether they realize or not they'll be standing in the middle of "Your own War"...the battlefield with casualties and wounded laying everywhere, yet you're the only (1) that can see them..So, the answer to that question to me is very clear. You can not "give up" because if you do, you surrender to anxiety and you draw your entire family into your own invisible battle. You would also "give up" on them..

My last question is, what is it that makes you fear things so? That question appears to be quite simple and short and doesn't seem to be asking for to much information to provide you or I with an answer, but you also know that the question covers everything in your life and encompasses your life as a whole too, and everyone in it..

There's my advice. Provide me and yourself with that answer, and then you'll answer your own question too.

Sincerely,
Enduronman.

homebird
08-23-2012, 09:37 AM
Did you forget about these recognizable triggers while taking the (Lexapro) or did these triggers just take on a different form, shape, level of concern?


My trigger is any worry or fear that revolves around my daughter, our family or our future as a family. Diet and exercise (or rather, lack of) and my overall health also seems to play a huge part in my state of mind. When I was taking medication, I still had anxiety, but it was easier for me to overcome. It was also much harder for me to get a panic attack. I don't know how to explain it other than this: I felt like there was a wall up that was very hard to get through. I had to REALLY dwell on my fears or thoughts to get a panic attack. But I learned to recognize my triggers and I learned how to deal with them in a healthy way instead of dwelling on them (because dwelling on them always lead me into panic).

Now that I am no longer taking medication, it seems like that wall is down and it is much easier for me to get a panic attack. One thought or worry can send me into waves of anxiety. I am able to work through the panic attack in a healthy way, but I have lingering anxiety that I can't seem to shake. And the thing is - it feels very physical and not mental to me. I am not currently worried about anything. The thing that caused my panic attack - I dealt with it, it's over. I'm not concerned about it anymore. But it's like my body is stuck in this constant state of physical anxiety (tight chest, fast heart-beat, shaky, weak, tired, etc) and I can't shake it.

When I said "give up" I meant give up living a med-free life. Sorry, I should've been more clear. My goal is to be med free.

Enduronman
08-23-2012, 10:19 AM
Ok, got it now. You're in a place that I have been, in fact not too long ago. I had what was referred to as "21st Century Stress Syndrome" or what they used to call, nervous system breakdown. That was the problem, in did not involve my mind and only my physical body. My body did its own thing, threw in the towel and opened the door to an attack of epic proportions of an actual disease called RA. (rheumatoid arthritis) Before something like this is able to get ahold of you then there are some things that you're going to have to do to prevent it. Not saying that it is going to happen, just stating that this is how it happened to me..

So, the (Lexapro) did do its job performance wise as far as allowing you to perceive things in this world that cause stress, fear, worry, concern to be viewed in a different way. It put up "an invisible barrier" around you so as the (panic attacks) were unable to infiltrate your mind, thoughts, brain.

You're a "worry" addict. The thoughts that are in your mind may be based upon present day circumstance or issues yet you take these thoughts and "you run with them" and by typing that I mean that you attach speculation, assumption, presumption, and many different "what ifs" that havent even happened, nor do you know if they will, and more then likely they will never materialize to be anything to begin with?...Am I gettin warm? Honesty please...This may be helpful to you, more then you know.

The fact that your physical body is stuck in (fight or flight) response mode, much like mine was for over 40 years has a reason. That reason being because you either conciously or sub-conciously are sending your "adrenal systems" the commands to keep it in this state. The same state as that of a gladiator, a warrior, a soldier,.."Protect the vital organs from impending doom" mode. Your mind is sending these orders, commands, signals, requesting certain hormonal and steriodal dumps, adrenaline, and a slew of other chemicals that are keeping your physical body in this "attack" mode. Type in (adrenal glands) where you are and read about them and their function in wiki..

The fact that you state "not currently worried about anything" is why I would suggest that you read about this particular part of the endocrine system. This is the (1) that is "turbo-charging" your physical state. Also, you must somehow understand that the reason it is doing this, is because your mind, thought, worry, brainwaves, are ordering it to do so..

If your goal is to be "med free" as I am, then you must first understand what it is that you're in control of. As our "Super Mod" stated in a post last evening, and these words were very powerful in meaning and truth.."We do not fear, what we understand"..That simple and short sentence, phrase, quote, is the key to your success...

There are my thoughts as ordered by my goofed up mind friend, I hope you see something of great value in them.

Enduronman..:)

homebird
08-23-2012, 10:39 AM
You're a "worry" addict. The thoughts that are in your mind may be based upon present day circumstance or issues yet you take these thoughts and "you run with them" and by typing that I mean that you attach speculation, assumption, presumption, and many different "what ifs" that havent even happened, nor do you know if they will, and more then likely they will never materialize to be anything to begin with?...Am I gettin warm? Honesty please...



You hit the nail on the head. :) Yes, I have a serious problem dwelling on the "what ifs" and the things that are totally out of my control.

This might sound silly, but here is an example: I rely on my mother for childcare while I work part-time. We cannot afford to pay for daycare because it costs as much as our mortage, lol. I started worrying about all the "what ifs" that might happen down the road. What if my mom gets sick and can't watch my daughter? What if my sister has a baby and needs my mom and my mom can't help me anymore? I might have to get daycare and it'll be too expensive. Will I have to quit my job? Will I have to work full time? If I send my daughter to daycare will she think I don't love her? What if I lose my job? What if, what if, what if .... It sent me into a panic attack.

I've learned through therapy how to stop this kind of thought pattern, but I think you're right - my subconscious is still "going there". I just don't know how to fix the subconscious part.

I stopped therapy for a few months, but I have another appointment tomorrow. Hopefully I can shed some light on this. I'm just so tired.

Enduronman
08-23-2012, 11:36 AM
I can get to the "source" very quickly..I take the words that I see people type as they're a true "visual" perception of how people actually feel, rather then sitting and listening to someone talk, speak, vocalize their thoughts or issues within their minds as hearing words and processing them into a form that is understandable or trying to acknowledge random things to compile any specific "issue" is extremely difficult to do. Even for people that go to college for a decade to try to learn how to figure people out, I "see" things they will never be able to see..

Which is why I can offer certain people such as yourself true, honest, factual help and assistance because it "pinpoints" the entry area or weakness that Mr.Anxiety and his forces thrive on..

You now know EXACTLY what to focus on, the area of weakness that needs reinforcement, strengthening, bracing..Interesting? Yes...but you now know where to go to hunt "IT" down and defeat it..

Kindest regards and hopes for the greatest successes in your future!

Enduronman..:)