I went out today, rare occasion

[fletch127]

Feel even worse.

I go out once a week dead maximum but barring this last fortnight it's been a month since. I go to a mate's house and watch a movie and then go to a bar and have a few drinks. I come home and I am wrecked and I fear my body is shutting down. I hadn't eaten anything up until dinner where i had KFC but I am certain there is something wrong with me and I am fearing for my life. I hate this dream!!!

I am scared of calling an ambulance because i have once before and i was embarrased to find out i was healthy and i had a massive over-reaction. I feel like i am a invalid and can't take care of myself without thinking the worst.

I am very much at the end of my niche here and Don't know what to do.

[Enduronman]

Hey Fletch!

Don't give up friend. There is answer to every question, in this Universe and I believe that everything in the crazya** world also happens for a reason too. We just don't always like to be the one it's happening too, and trust me...everything has happened to me.

The basics of who you are please? How old you are?..When did this seclusion and reclusiveness begin and do you have access to a Dr and what meds?

Thats the first step friend..We can not help you, if we do not get a chance to KNOW who you are....Get it?


Enduronman...:)

[fletch127]

I've seen a doctor once and i was handed half a tab of something which i gave up on because it was not working.

Reclusiveness began after moving back home from university for 3 months in the holiday period. I was training at the gym 5 days a week and my body clearly needed a rest so i spent initially two weeks at home because i had a hectic schedule prior for over 12 months. and then i just got into binge eating and the No.1 trigger I think is my mother bought me 10 diet vanilla cokes on special for $1.00 each. Diet Coke is known to effect brain waves to the point that Pilots are not allowed to drink any diet soda's, It's effected my sleeping patterns and eating patterns and I have constant concerns about my health and well being and security is within my home and It's only on a day when i feel driven and happy is when i am able to go out and enjoy life which was today.

My main concern is i came home with body unusually tired and I really didn't do anything, went to a mate's place watched a movie then went to the pub. I hadn't of eaten anything up until dinner time when I bought Kfc for dinner. It's obviously not the most beneficial diet out there but things have screwed with my eating patterns and when I go out i like to go out first thing so i don't have second thoughts and recluse myself and if it means skipping food then so be it.

I am doing good to hold my weight, I have probably dropped 4 kilo over a period of 3 months but most if not all of it was muscle. I still look very much the same shape and build and I am truly amazed i am not anorexic.

I don't know where to go from here and I need you guys to assist me through my troubles, we are all a family here and we are here to help anyone no matter what there problems are and I can certainly assist others on this forum too.

Thankyou so much.

[Matt C]

Hey Fletch,

I reckon you may be getting a lot of thoughts of analysing your physical symptoms... I know you want to feel a certain way, but a shift in your health although good to notice, is not necessarily something to analyse heavily.

I would say 2 things on this.

1) If you know your diet is not great it's worth changing it. Just eat healthier. If you find yourself not able to... keep visualizing yourself eating healthy foods and enjoying them... do this over and over ... visualize yourself being repulsed by, or just not even noticing unhealthy foods... keep at it until you start to find yourself naturally drawn to halthy foods.

2) Learn how to let thoughts go by without being too attached to them. You can only really do this by developing you awareness through meditation techniques like mantra, breathing, etc. Learn to watch thoughts go by as if you were on a boat ride and they are just scenery passing by. Then, if you do this regularly enough, you'll start to see these thoughts and feelings for what they are, instead of taking them all very seriously.

Couple of things I thought might help... But you may have to do some research to really apply them properly.

Also... you are capable of anything, so know that whatever has happened in the past, whatever you think of yourself based on that is not fact. Why? Because what happened in the past DOES NOT necessarily determine what will happen in the the future. You can be whatever you want to be, it will take some determination, and some self honesty, and I know you can do it because you had enough determination to reach out on this forum, and enough honesty to share your story here.

All the best.

Btw Enduronman... I just want to say it's great to see you being so active in trying to benefit others here, keep up the good work my friend.

[camilla91]

Gotta say Matt C that was a lovely post!

[Matt C]

Cheers Camilla91 :)