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View Full Version : Just when you think you're f**ked up? Imagine this...I am too!



Enduronman
08-20-2012, 03:55 PM
Hello in here! (hello hello hello..echos fade.....)..

Yes, I know I'm messed up. (messed seems to be a more fitting word to use, although not as prominent and pronounced as the Title line explanatory, expressionary... word!)...

I was just outside cleaning up the porch abit as my daughter seems to think it has a more utilitarian purpose such as a barn or an abandoned home. She throws crap all over it! Teenager,..and they don't hear a word you say anyway...

I was startled and alarmed! (Instantly thrown into AWARE mode)..WTF?.. A hawk! Within arms reach of me for a second as it took flight. I've seen them, but not in my face before. Big bird to say the least with a wingspan of nearly 3ft. He flew off and landed on a branch in the nearest tree around 50ft away. He stood on his perch and looked back at me...Here's the messed up part, I reached behind my neck very slowly to retreive an arrow from my quiver.. What? ...Yes, that was yet another moment that makes me recognize just how messed up I really am. This is the 21st Century a**hole!! People don't carry around friggin bows and arrows you moron!! I wanted to drop him, and couldv'e done so. For what??? "Here honey I killed a freakin Hawk for dinner tonight!"...YUMMY!!!

If my father would not have said the following words in early May then this wouldv'e made no sense to me.."Son, maybe you should just try to accept the fact that there is no need for a destructive Viking in the world that we live in, theres no reason for him here."...Wise words, I will never forget.

They do however make for some really funny credit card commercials!!!..

The End.

EnduroDoofusMan....:)

jhunter89
08-20-2012, 03:59 PM
Are you sure there was a hawk there?

Enduronman
08-20-2012, 04:04 PM
DER!!

I had to figure out why he was there to begin with! I knew he wasn't just passing through...he wanted the possum carcus that lay by my trashcans!!!..Yes, I picked up the nasty scent too but I don't find possum that enticing!!!...

Just had to share another screwed up story about what I have to deal and live with daily...Wondering what's next a pterodactyl!!!


VikingMan..:)

jhunter89
08-20-2012, 04:06 PM
LOL my bf said he once coughed up a pterodactyl and watched it fly round the room (no joke btw)

jhunter89
08-20-2012, 04:24 PM
Do you always get the urge to killed winged creatures?

Enduronman
08-20-2012, 05:06 PM
hey hey...

Now, when there are BATS FLYING AROUND YOUR HOUSE AND 3 SCREAMING FEMALES JUMPING AROUND IN HORROR then the urge to kill a winged creature SEEMS TO BECOME ALL TOO APARENT!!! Either he goes,...or I listen to 3 SCREAMING PETRIFIED FEMALES JUMPING AROUND!!! I chose,...R.I.P you creepy little winged creature! Go back to haunt Scooby and Shaggy!!!....not me... :)