I can't do this anymore.

[PhobiasLiveInMe]

I'm just so low and nothing is helping.
I'm so disconnected that I feel like I'm losing my mind.
I keep fighting off the urge to self-harm and thoughts about just ending my life.

This isn't living. What's the point in living if I can't even tell the difference between reality and dreaming?

I just want it to stop.

[Enduronman]

Hey Friend of the forums,

1. You're so low, nothing is helping?...What are you doing to HELP the lows?
2. So disconnected? What if anything are you trying to do to re-connect? Family? Friends?...Where are they?.. Are there any???
3. Fighting an urge to self-inflict pain?...What is feeding this urge?..
4. What type of medications, therapy, assistance do you have?.. Where are they? A phone call away?...Pick it up, make the call....

You're definately not the only one that's ever been in this "world" that you're in, but the only way to get out of there and now..is to get up, pick yourself up, and ask for some help from friends, family, therapist, or even a local hotline to help those in need. We've ALL been where you are..We ALL had to choose..that's why we're still here.

Now, make the move. Get up. Make a simple phone call, and get the assist you need. It IS available.. EVERYWHERE friend...

E-Man.

[Matt C]

I remember feeling like that when I was going through paranoid psychosis. Everyday I woke up felt like I was imprisoned by my own mind... with nowhere to turn. I felt alone.

Support is all around you... It's not always the kind of support you might expect, but if you look for it, you'll find the right combination to suit you in coming home to peace of mind. I can promise you that.

For 1, it might be worth seeing if the GP can supply someone to talk to.

For 2... try meditation... specifically mantra meditation helped me a lot. Also moving meditations like taiji, and yoga. These both are active, and give your mind something to do... and you can learn to take your thoughts less seriously.

There's a lot more to teach in terms of what I actually did, but I just wanted you to know that's where I started off, and it helped tremendously. I'm not suggesting you do, or don't take medication. I didn't. Using those techniques and a qualified therapist was just about all I needed to get moving in the right direction.

Also I spent time every morning thinking of things I was grateful for... I meditated twice a day... and used mantra and meditative breathing to help me through serious panic attacks.

One more thing. I decided that I wasn't going to let this state of mind stop me. I was determined to get through it, and help others to not have to suffer as much as I did.

You have to give yourself a purpose, I know you can come through this, and although you may not feel it right now, I know you can too... only you can choose your purpose behind this though. You are capable of anything you want to put your mind to.... That I can assure you.

[PhobiasLiveInMe]

I know that in the long run only I can help myself but I guess I got overwhelmed. My apologies. Thank you for your words and advice. I do talk to friends and family. And I know I have so much to be thankful for, and I have no intentions of wanting to kill myself or anything. Sometimes life crashes down. I guess I don't ever see the warning signs that I'm headed to a crash until it comes and goes. And I know I'm no where alone. I guess that's why I reached out for help on here because I figured someone had to understand, and I was right. I get these feelings but trust me, i still push through.

[Matt C]

Great to hear you are feeling confident in your ability to move through. Personally I would say it's worth building up rituals that in the long run will create preemptive healing. Then when things get tough you'll have untapped reserves of strength of mind waiting for you buddy! :)

Anyways, we're always here anytime, and I for one will never judge you for losing track of things. I would say though, I'm proud of you for keeping you head in the right direction. :) That's ultimately what will lead you to finding the right long term lifestyle changes that will bring you to total stability, peace, and realization of your innate capacity to kick some ass!! :)

Take care mate.

Matt

[salevietasia]

Yes it gets that way but it does end .