Worry worry worry

[jhunter89]

I am constantly worried about my partner and our relationship. He suffered/suffers with psychosis and severe depression. We have been together 7 and a half years and ive always worried about him but I'm really bad at the moment. If I'm not worrying about him having an accident on his way to work I'm worrying about him leaving me. If he doesn't text me when he gets to work I get really anxious and if I don't hear from him throughout the day I also get really anxious. He's very busy so can't always find time to text, I know this, yet still I panic. He has terrible mood swings and if he snaps at me or is just angry I'm usually instantly reduced to tears. Im trying to do everything I can to make his life as stress free as possible and it's wearing me down a bit.

[dazza]

>Im trying to do everything I can to make his life as stress free as possible

So, by panicking and worrying everyday about texts is making his life stress free is it?

Doubt it me old love.

As much as this may not compute too well, perhaps it's better to start thinking positively about the relationship, back off a little and just let it run.
The negativity itself is actually causing more problems - both mentally and actually.

[jhunter89]

I don't bombard him with messages demanding that he texts me. I try hard to hide these feelings. I haven't heard from him this morning but I'm not trying to contact him. A couple of weeks ago id convinced myself I had something wrong with my heart, it was quite refreshing to worry about myself for a change.

[whatif]

In a way, you ARE worrying about yourself... By worrying that you'll lose him (either through death or his choice to leave you), you're actually worrying about how your life would be w/o him in it and you feel that youd crumble. Im mot saying that you're not genially concerned with his well being, but if you were confident in your own ability to make yourself happy, you'd worry less about losing him and focus more on the good relationship that you'd have together if you weren't smothering him with negative thoughts. Think about it... He's still with you even though you're making it miserable for the both of you... He obviously loves you. Trust that he's capable of getting to work safely and that he's capable of loving you and capable of coming home to you. In the meantime, focus on every little good thing about yourself that is worth loving so you can see (& know) why he loves and won't leave you).

[jhunter89]

You are totally right. I am not living for me, everything would feel pointless without him.

[scarlett010]

I have been in this situation myself, and I think a lot of it stems from low self-esteem. Your partner obviously loves you, but maybe doesn't realise that he is hurting you in such a bad way. Maybe explain how you feel to him - if he suffers from depression and psychosis, he will understand your anxiety. Work on making yourself a happier, less stressed person. It's not easy, I am trying to do the same myself. Do you work as well or have anything to take your mind off him not texting/calling you?

[jhunter89]

I dont feel comfortable talking to anyone really. I do work yes but i really hate it!

[Enduronman]

JHunter...

(sigh)..This one is tough. I've seen alot of wide ranging variables and types of disorder around here and also throughout life in general. (I was a trainwreck, day after day)..Still am, but create positives out of disorder and disarray. Depression+psychosis=extremely complicated. No other way to word it to be any softer or gentle to present. Hmmm...Dear Scarlett,..please understand what "psychosis" is and then you'll see the kind of position our friend is in and this is not any sort of personal typed word assault on you by any means so please dont take offense to this when you read it, we want you here to help, and to learn as well so dont run off..Example: "your partner loves you, maybe he doesnt realise hes hurting you, explain how you feel, he will understand her anxiety"....None of those things are correct new friend. He doesnt KNOW he loves her, even though he does. He doesn't realise he's hurting her at all. He can't here a word she says at times. He can not hear, nor process, nor understand what she may even be saying at times. He can not understand her anxiety, even if she explaned it to him until there was no more oxygen left in the room....uhhhhh....THINK E-MAN THINK!!!!.... I'M TRYING JUST GIVE ME MORE THEN 1 MINUTE OKAY!!!..geeze....

I'm trying to figure out a possible direction, solution, to create a positive result...ASAP!!!...

Please feel free to add in anything else while I step away for a few...as I said, this is very tough..Because at certain times, he will literally be like "talking to a brick wall"...seriously... How to get this "wall" to hear, listen, understand, and reply at all is going to be a challenge..wait, yes...a new challenge. I love challenge!!!

We have ALL just been challenged,..hahahaahaaaha!!! We will prevail..we've never failed to complete any challenge before. This wont be the first defeat either..

BRB!

God Bless!

E-Man....

[jhunter89]

Thanks e man :) got some tears flowing now though!

[scarlett010]

Oh, I joined here expecting genuine people with genuine care, except I have stumbled in to a place where one person thinks they know it all. Way to go! Time to find another forum, methinks.

And unless you are a trained psychiatrist, or her boyfriend, you can't know what he is or isn't thinking. They are still together after all this time and the issues, that speaks volumes to me. Whether someone has anxiety, depression, etc. doesn't matter - they can all be guilty of not thinking about their partner. Most of my friends do, and they aren't suffering depression, psychosis et al.

[jhunter89]

You'll have to excuse e man, his first reply to one of my posts came across a bit "harsh" but for some strange reason I think he really does care about everyone on here!

[Enduronman]

Oh,..now see there. Even though I wished to meet you, know you, learn about you, and you me,..and said please dont take offense..you did. You labeled me as " A Mr. KNOW IT ALL" type...HMMM, you judged me..I did not judge you. Just asked you to understand what you were typing to learn.. You instantly put up the "perimeter warning shields of protection"...For what reason? A person in cyberspace from the opposite side of the planet?...Really?...

There isn't 1 person here, that doesn't think I am NOT genuine...I am. Honest, caring, kind, and wish to help whoever, whenever..and have helped many.

I see things, you dont..

I'm trained in life. I'm trained by hard lessons. I'm trained by terror, horror, fear, and real life experiences.. Books, plaques, degrees, awards,,,,dont mean s**t to me, nor do they help anyone else here either....and they wont.

I dont give a f**k if you seen 39 Dr's and they cant figure out whats wrong????...I can, in minutes...on this screen, with no degree...and a 7th grade education..

So, sorry to offend,..even though I apologized...before you even read it.

Goodluck on your journey and search for WHO you are...maybe you'll find YOU someday....

Bye!

E-Man.

[Enduronman]

Abit harsh J89?....You have a strange feeling that I do care?...yup, about all of you. OR,.why would I even still be here....

Oh well, win some, lose some...part of life.

We'll work together J89, because I know there's a solution that fits you.

Sorry to run off our newest member, she wasnt capable of looking beyond???? (HERSELF). Imagine that...

E-Man. :)

[Enduronman]

Weird...She was "read" in seconds...You know what her problem is J89? (self-centered, in the harshest of condition). She truly is, her own worst enemy....MAN!! We didnt get to have any fun!!! She kicked me in the &*^*&%$^%&* and then ran off....HEY WAIT!! POOF!

Smile J89!

E-Man...

[jhunter89]

Lol maybe she'll be back.

[camilla91]

You better hope she comes back she had same symptoms as me LOL! I very much like ur diagnosis my strange friend! I hope that's not what I'm going to be diagnosed with LOL!! (That Really made me laugh because ur diagnosis of her sounds like my diagnosis of me! LOL)

[Enduronman]

I will whole-heartedly accept the fact that I am now referred to as a "Strange Friend"..LMAO! Better yet, I think it would be even cooler if I would be referred to as "Cousin It"!....Hilarious either way!... :)

Camelita,

When I let my wife sit down here to read some of the posted threads of communications she came across yours and began reading it. She made it down to my first response or reply to you in regards to whatever the issue was but I dont recall exacts of typed exchanges. She looked at me and said "OMG that poor girl was in need of some supportive help and you replied it this manner with these words?"...I just left the room abruptly..I knew that any spoken words or explanations at that point would be futile and like deep sea diving with no oxygen tank on..Not referring to my wife as being un-intelligent or not smart by any means, but there is not 1 single person on this planet that would understand why I typed, what I typed, when I typed it, even if that person was Albert Einstein..Why? Because she had not finished the entire book, story, mini-novel, herself..with her own eyes.

When she reached the end, then she saw, knew, understood the meaning behind the words she read...

Crazy how this world rolls sometimes!..

Gotta go, teachin my son how to roller blade..YEAH RIGHT!

E-Man..:)

[dazza]

Camelita!?

pmsl... better than CamelToe I guess.

[Enduronman]

grrrr..If I reply to your comment Mr. DaZzBlaster, then it will give my wife typed permission to knockout both of the only (2) remaining teeth that I have...Although,..I SO WANT TOO AND GO WITH WHAT IS IN MY MIND AND RUN WITH IT FOR 1000's OF LETTERS!!! waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

STOP TYPING STOP TYPING.....:(

Mr. Blurble... (I just saved my own a**) YAY!

[trinidiva]

Ouch Scarlett.....that was rather harsh....I think everyone gives their opinion, trying to be as helpful as possible......, I mean, that's the purpose of placing up a post in the first place.....we are all dealing with anxiety and/ or depression in one way or another.....
Maybe that individual's advice might be what that person suffering needs to hear, you never know.....