Class A Drugs, Anxiety, Heart Disease and Parkinsons

[fhb11]

Hello all, quite a title eh? I'm a 26 year old man with a history of anxiety (although have never ever acknowledged I suffer from anxiety 100%). Anyway, my story (briefly) go's like this. Very fit healthy and active lad up until aged 16-18. Started binge drinking, smoking cannabis then taking 1 or 2 e's most weekends for a couple of years. Stopped the drugs for a few years but contniued to binge drink and went from a slender 10 stone to a 5ft 11 whopping 16 stone by aged 21. I got things sorted and by 22 I was back to about 13stone again, still drinking most weekends but no drugs. Then at about 23 I was introduced to cocaine. Dabbled with this on and off for a few years whilst of course still binge drinking. Now, back when I was 21 I was having severe anxiety problems. The symptoms were heavy chest pain, continuous tingling within my arms, numbness, tingling at the back of my left ankle, panic attacks etc. I was put on Efexor for 6 months, then eventually came off. I managed to get rid of the chest pain which was good as I constantly thought I had heart disease. I have been to the docs on and off over the years as my social life leads me to dabble and binge drink, resulting in increased anxiety. My last visit to the docs was about 2 months ago to report my current set of symptoms. Prior to detailing these my main concern was that because I was using cocaine and I'd read that this can cause heart failure I convinced myself that I was going to die or had heart disease. My symptoms now are..a tingling at the back of my left calf, like a worm is crawling under my skin, numb feet and hands during the night, pain directly in my heart. The most concerning for me (because I never read this on anxiety forums) is that if I stand in a funny position like putting a lot of weight onto one foot for example my whole foot go's tingly then eventually numb very quickly. This also happens if I cross one leg over the other. That leads me to think I have heart disase/very bad circulation. I told this to the doctor and she said it was anxiety related but I didn't go to the hospital to get my heart checked. On top of all this when I binge drink I now wake up through the night with a racing heart to add to my worries. Finally, I get shakes, particularly in my right hand. I haven't mentioned this to the docs but I am hoping that I have not decreased the dopamine in my brain with the drug taking and have now got Parkinons. I have now officially quit drugs and am trying to watch my alcohol. I have a decent job, good family and good life but I am ruining it for myself and the anxiety over my health is completely taking over. I feel I am paying for all the abuse I have done to myself over the years. The bottom line is, I am convinced I have something really terrible wrong with me, and from reading above its no wonder why I'd think that. I realise I have been extremely stupid in the past, but can anyone give me some thoughts as to what I should do? I would especially like to know if it sounds weird that I get pins and needles very easily?

Thanks for reading.
FG

[The Pedro]

Iv had all those things mate dont worry about it every so many months it comes back manifested as something new this time its sharp little pains. I had pins and needles really bad and I could get them everywhere, thats gone and two years later twitching, I conquer that and another two years later I get twitching and sharp pains.
Other things haver happened though which have put me in this state. One night I convinced myself I had bird flu and crapped myself for a whole night. The week later my uncle died we werent dead close but it really messed me up and made me think of morbid thoughts. To top all this I have a business that sells coffee and coffee machines. Sometimes I can drink loads of the stuff but because I had all this other shit going on I had four coffees in one day was watching clockwork orange and had my first panic attack in 4 years. I think sometimes when you havent had one for a while you forget how to deal with it, but you will always notice a link between how much you worry and panic and the intensity of your symptoms. Iv convinced myself i HAD A STOMACH ULCER WAS UNABLE TO SLEEP THOUGHT MY GUTS WERE ABOUT TO EXPODE (SORRY STARTED WRITTING IN CAPS AND CANT BE BOTHERED EDITING IT SO WILL PROCEED IN CAPS) HAD A FULL GASTROPTOMY CAMERA IN THE STOMACH CHOCKING LIKE A MAD MAN FOR 10 MINS WHILE THE THE DOCTOR PUMPED AIR INTO MY STOMACH. hE THEN SAID LOOK NOTHINGS WRONG AND YOU REALLY ARE TOO YOUNG TO WORRY ABOUT THE THINGS YOUR WORRYING ABOUT. THAT VERY SECOND THESE INTENSE PAINS WENT. YOUR MIND IS A POWERFUL THING MY FRIEND IT CAN CONVINCE YOU OF ANYTHING IM SURE OF IT. YOU MUST ALLOW YOUR THOUGHTS TO WASH OVER YOU RELAX WITH THEM AND TRY TO RATIONALISE THEM. THINK OF YOUR LIFE PRIOR TO YOU TAKING THE DRUGS WERE YOU THIS SORT OF PERSON ANYWAY. THE PROBLEM IS YOUR WORRYING ABOUT HAVING DAMAGED YOURSELF BUT NOW IT IS THIS WORRY THAT IS NOW DAMAGING YOU. YOU HAVE TRIGGERED THIS SIDE OF YOUR BRAIN INTO EXISTENCE MAYBE BUT IT HAS ALWAYS PROBABLY BEEN THERE AND SOMETHING WOULD HAVE TRIGGERED IT EVENTUALLY. WHEN I WAS LITTLE I USED TO THINK I COULDNT GET UP AND LIE ON THE FLOOR CONVINCED I COULDNT MOVE UNTIL MY MUM WOULD JERK ME UP AND SAY COME ON WHAT ARE YOU DOING. WHEN I WAS FIVE I WENT TO THE DOCTOR BECAUSE I THOUGHT IF ID SWALLOW FOOD I COULD CHOKE MYSELF AND COULDNT EAT ANYTHING. ITS A LONG HARD FIGHT MATE BUT THINGS CAN GET BETTER AND BETTER IF YOU CAN LEARN TO JUST LOOK AT YOUR THOUGHTS AND LET THEM PASS YOU BY, WHERE DOES A THOUGHT COME FROM? YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS LOOK AT THEM SEE THEM BUT DONT ASSUME THEY ARE YOU, THEY ARE NOT. YOU ARE JUST AN OBSERVER TO THEM. HERE IF YOU NEED ME CHIEF TRY TO RELAX.