Big decisions

[surfacing]

Hello! I registered and made a flurry of posts a couple of weeks ago and disappeared. I'm pretty faddy like that.

I got fired recently for being unable to carry out my job due to anxiety.
My flat contract is up soon too. I have no money, I have debt.

My plan has been to get a flat, get benefits, try to nurture my freelance illustration and design business whilst dealing with severe general anxiety and everything that goes with it.

I found a flat, on my own. I can't live with others again, I get so paranoid and I hate it. I want a space to do my art and run my business. (recently I've been doing the cutesy hand-drawn illustrations for handmade burger co.)

I can afford it IF I get full benefits AND earn some money doing permitted work.i can't get full housing benefit to cover whole rent because I've chosen to take the mOst expensive option of living by myself. Sharing makes me ill, I hide from people and avoid using communal areas, just feel constantly worried they'll be angry with me as I find it hard to stay on top of housework etc.

I am waiting to hear if I've managed to blag the flat. But I'm scared I won't be able to afford it. My dad is guarantor. My other option is to stay with my mum but she has issues and is emotionally manipulative and drives me insane, and changeable (possible bpd) and lives in a rural village so I would be isolated from my support network and my roller derby team and my target market, my friends and it would cost a fortune to get into the city amd i would be away from my doctor etc, and it might affect my ability to get benefits in the future if they know I have somewhere to go.

I am scared now, I lose my home at end of the month. The estate agents will receive my paperwork on Monday and start the process of credit checks etc and once that starts I can't get my admin fee of £200 refunded.

Is getting the flat just me tryi g to keep on coping when I can't and piling more stress on myself, or is it a good thing?

[Suzzy]

Which benefits are you thinking of getting? Because it is pretty much impossible to get ESA or any kind of incapacity/disability benefit for anxiety... So if you're basing being able to afford the flat on that then you need to be aware its very unlikely that it will be awarded. Just to warn you! And you need to be very careful if you intend to claim benefits and work at the same time... they're very strict about all that! :) You need to KNOW you'll be able to afford it before you start giving estate agents money because otherwise you'll be down financially and it will only add to the stress/anxiety you already have. If you already know for sure that you will be getting whatever benefits you're thinking of, and know that you can definitely afford the flat then thats a different story. I guess only you know if by buying a flat, you will add to your stress or not... It could be really good for you! But you dont want to spend out lots of money only to realise you've made a mistake, so just be sure before you part with your cash! :)

[surfacing]

Thanks suzzy. I've made a decision -there is an option c, which is to stay with my boyfriends parents for a while, which isn't as far away and less emotionally charged. I've stayed there before and it's ok. His mum would feed me. She's said it's ok.

So I don't jump into a potentially dangerous financial decision, I can pull back just in time.
I've made that mIstake before, I guess I should be proud I'm not making it again. Will give me some time to think.
I know that probably seems like the most obvious thing in the world, but it didn't to me.

[Suzzy]

Cool, that sounds like the best option to me! :) Takes the pressure off you for a bit and you dont need to worry about financial things either... Good for you for not rushing into things and taking time to really think things through. Hope that it all works out well for you! :)