View Full Version : The what ifs...and what do you do?
Long time anxiety sufferer. I've noticed that for me personally, I'm always searching for the worst, "the what ifs."
Started with health issues, thinking I had everything from cancer to ALS to whatever. I was able to finally shake that and though it rears its ugly head from time to time, I can usually squash that one pretty quick. I've learned to not read anything health related anymore. Out of sight, out of mind.
Flying, another biggie. I'll fly but the whole flight is filled with those feelings of dread. Every sound or bump causes an adrenaline rush. Sensationalist news about every time something happens on a flight doesn't help.
I was so worked up over driving a few weeks back that I almost didn't go on vacation, only to return and wonder what the fuss was all about.
Every nasty weather report has me on edge until the storm passes.
But the latest panic of mine is end of the world type stuff (not that Mayan nonsense). It seems that my mind just keeps looking for the worst it can find and fixates on it. Read an article about some scientific stuff, that supposedly only has a 6% chance of happening, but my mind won't let go of the "what if that 6% actually happens?" rather than "what if the 94% doesn't happen?" Again, the news and all doesn't help and I'm starting to wonder if I need to avoid the news altogether. Seems my anxiety is a series of "what ifs," where I always dwell on the negative or worst that can happen.
I've done the medicine thing and HATED it, never again. I really want to retrain my brain permanently. Maybe change of diet too.
That's all, just wanted to drop out of lurker mode and vent a bit.
rachelm23
08-08-2012, 06:16 AM
You should definitely look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If you can't afford therapy or would like to try a different route, search amazon for CBT books. I just got a book called "The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Workbook for Anxiety", although I'm still going to go to therapy.
Don't give up :-)
Buttercup
08-08-2012, 06:19 AM
One of my biggest problems was "what ifs" and negative thinking about all the awful things that might happen. Having therapy really helped, I see a psychotherapist who has worked wonders in retraining my brain to having a more positive outlook and to stop catastrophizing. One thing that really helped was writing down all my what if scenarios and then challenging them and looking at them in a more rational way. So i'd write down the what if, then write down the worst case scenario and then write down what is more likely to happen and a positove outcome. In a way I learned to say what if this happened and then combat that thought by thinking, so what if that happened. Is it likely- no, but if it did happen then f*** it, i'd deal with the situation and if it's something outwith my control then so be it, it's out of my hands and there us bugger all I can do about it.
I do think though that a great deal of being able to think in a more positive way was also to do with the fact I was on beta blockers and therefore my adrenaline was supressed so when i was doing the what if exercises I wasn't freaking out as the beta blockers stopped the racing heart etc and let me work through the scenarios without panic.
So i'd write down the what if, then write down the worst case scenario and then write down what is more likely to happen and a positove outcome. In a way I learned to say what if this happened and then combat that thought by thinking, so what if that happened. Is it likely- no, but if it did happen then f*** it, i'd deal with the situation and if it's something outwith my control then so be it, it's out of my hands and there us bugger all I can do about it.
I've done this before when I had health anxiety. Since I learned to mostly overcome that, my brain just went on to find something more catastrophic. What's rattling me now there is no "deal with it" type answer. Almost like my brain is not happy unless it's looking for the worst.
I'm going to look into the CBT because I truly believe it's a matter of changing the brain to either not think about something or think "what if the bad thing didn't happen" rather than thinking "what if it does."
rachelm23
08-08-2012, 06:39 AM
After the CBT, you'll find that you won't think in "what ifs" anymore. And even if "what ifs" do come to mind, you're going to have the tools and strength to immediately dismiss them. It takes a lot of work, but if you're willing and truly want to change your life, I have no doubt that it'll work for you.
Keep us updated :-)
Enduronman
08-08-2012, 07:59 AM
Welcome "creeper lurker" KMAN! (we knew you were there already)...LOL!
1. Out of sight, out of mind...Incubus.
2. Re-train the brain? Flip the switch...everybody has one, you just gotta find it.
3. Worrying about "The Unknowns".."The Future"???...Why? Worry, fret, and concern over or about something that does not yet exist, or worrying about the future itself (which is an unknown to 8 BILLION other people on this planet) doesn't change it...because NO ONE KNOWS WHAT "IT" EVEN IS...
4. (This one may not pertain to you, but I like your thread title so others will read this)..Why are so many of you worried about dying daily?? It is the life itself that you've been blessed with that got you up to read these post...S**t there are (2) things in this world that are most assuredly GOING to happen that you DO NOT CONTROL...1. Taxes. 2. Death at some point...Physical life was NEVER meant to be forever, it is the MOMENTS that you are given and gifted to receive that you are to FOCUS on so make those every waking MOMENTS happy, cheerful, fulfilling, MOMENTS=MEMORIES..
"LIVE FOR TODAY, LOOK FORWARD TO TOMORROW, AND HAVE HOPE FOR THE FUTURE"...period
5. Back to you KMAN..De-sensitize your brain: 1. DO NOT READ THE NEWSPAPERS. I DONT
2. DO NOT WATCH THE NEWS. I DONT
3. DO NOT WATCH CSI. I DONT
4. DO NOT WATCH ANYTHING STRESSFUL. I DONT
5. DO NOT READ OTHER PEOPLES BULLSHIT ON FACEPLANT. I DONT
6. DO NOT LOOK AT YOUR F**KING CELLPHONE EVERY 3 SECONDS. I DONT EVEN HAVE ONE ANYMORE
7. DO NOT WATCH ANYTHING ABOUT WEATHER/NATURAL CATASTROPHY. I DONT.
8. DISCONNECT FROM ALL EXTERNAL CHRONIC STRESS INPUTS TO YOUR BRAIN. I DID.
9. DE-ACTIVATE ANY OTHER CHRONIC STRESS INPUTS. I DID.
10. DIVORCE THE DRAMA CAUSING PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. I DID.
11. ACCEPT EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD, AND THE PEOPLE THAT ARE IN IT. I DID.
12. QUIT TRYIN TO FIGHT A BATTLE, WHERE YOU CANT EVEN FIND THE FRONTLINES. I DID.
13. FIX, CLEAN UP, ALTER, ADJUST, MODIFY, YOUR DIET. I DID.
WTF WAS ALL THAT????....It was to let you all know that your anxiety has a beginning, the world that you live in. Our ancestors did not have anxiety. WHY MR. ENDURONMAN?...Because their adrenal systems were not annialated every single day with an over abundance of unecessary, useless, unfounded, and completely meaningless informational brain receptor overload!!!!... Their "adrenal systems" would uptick for a FEW MINUTES to deal with a cow that got outta the pasture, then downtick after the cow was recovered...Our "adrenal systems" are in the "constant state of panic" BECAUSE our brains never allow it to down-regulate because of over-hyper-stimulation that WE OURSELVES allow, create, acknowledge, accept... I DONT.
Theres the main difference between ME and YOU...I SEE THIS,..WHEREAS...YOU DONT. (NO, I'm not being mean, mad, angry, upset, critical of any individual person on these forums..regardless of your issues, disorders, conditions, diseases...because I HAD THEM ALL TOO.)
This is just my style, way, method of helping others to fight off this monkey on your back because IT is relentless...but I am MORE relentless then IT....Get it?
Make this day a good day!... Live, love, life...yadda yadda bla bla...
(I'm going to hire a secretary to type all this s**t as I talk so it doesnt take 2 hours, with 1 finger!)...Who's payin her salary??? :)
Enduronman.
Bravo Enduroman! Your post really points out rational thinking at its core.
Just for the record, this is the one that's getting me down now (I won't go into details):
"7. DO NOT WATCH ANYTHING ABOUT WEATHER/NATURAL CATASTROPHY. I DONT."
And this is what puts it into perspective:
"3. Worrying about "The Unknowns".."The Future"???...Why? Worry, fret, and concern over or about something that does not yet exist, or worrying about the future itself (which is an unknown to 8 BILLION other people on this planet) doesn't change it...because NO ONE KNOWS WHAT "IT" EVEN IS..."
One trick I've been trying lately, every time I feel the what ifs coming on, I try and pick a subject and then go A-Z (like band names, foods, etc). If anything, it just refocuses me.
Enduronman
08-08-2012, 09:31 AM
HOORAY!!! Yes, correct answer bruh! Thinking from the "core" the "source" the "anxiety Matrix"...OBVIOUSLY you understand everything, every word, every detail very clearly. Now, take these instruments or tools of suggestion and advice and apply some of your own knowledge to correcting and acheiving the result that you seek... GOOD TO GO BRUH!!
Nice meeting you and welcome to "Lifestyles of the NOT so rich and famous"...:)
Enduronman.
Enduronman
08-08-2012, 09:35 AM
PS: This planet has been here for 6 BILLION years, it isn't going to do as James Earl Jones stated on New Years Eve in the year 2000..QUOTE:
"Everythings gunna splode"
That STILL makes me LMAO!! To this day!!!! I'm crying baahhahahaahaaa!!
E-Man.:)
Usually I laugh that stuff off too, but one silly article sent me on a spiral. Again, I won't detail it but on the other hand, there's not much I can do even in the remote chance it happened.
It's funny but I'm not afraid of dying but afraid of living I think. It's like if I can't be comfortable I don't want to be at all, if that makes sense.
Enduronman
08-08-2012, 11:20 AM
No KMAN, it makes absolutely no sense..but, You keep saying "I wont detail it here" bruh? I just wanna let you know that if you ever hope to "overcome" whatever this "detail" actually is then the only way to do that is to post, explain, type, what "it" literally is....No reason to be shy around here dude. Yeah, we're all in this flusterkluck together! Helping each other to "get out"....Are you picking up what I'm putting down friend???
E-Man.
Oh I'm not shy, I just don't want to freak anyone else out. Nothing more...
Enduronman
08-08-2012, 12:57 PM
Bruh,
Do you honestly think you're going to freak anyone here out?? That's EXACTLY why we are all here to begin with friend, we're already freakin out to the levels of DEFCON 5 ALERT STATUS... That being said, feel free to post whatever it is that troubles you. We've seen most all of it (other then some kinda Jeffrey Dahmer story)...I doubt that to be the subjective content of the "it" that haunts you.. jus sayin fa sho! (ma teeniebop dawwwdeeerrr tawt me dat) :)
E-bert.
Point taken.
I read an article about how extreme sunspots in 2013 could knock us back to the 15th century by knocking out the power for months if not years. Of course, my mind just ran with it from there and I cannot stop thinking about the "what ifs."
Fear mongering? No doubt but the seed has been planted.
Enduronman
08-09-2012, 08:57 AM
I'm proud of you man. Here's my thoughts (as retarded as they may appear to be).
1. WTF does it matter if all 8 billion of us are suddenly thrust back into the stone ages? We're ALL going to be in the same place, same time, same condition as the dude standing next to you.
2. As I stated earlier, this planet has been here for 6 BILLION FREAKIN YEARS and it isn't "goin to splode"...
3. Why worry about a stupid, speculative, assumptive, presumptive, theory that is written, thought out, processed,..by another Human Mind just like your own?..He may be a complete idiot or he may be a Wizard but NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS FOR US EXCEPT...GOD HIMSELF...SO, why waste the short amount of time that he blessed you with to enjoy life on this planet thinking about doomsday?...STOP. NOW. LIVE. LOVE. LAUGH...
4. Example: I lay in bed every night with my eyes open but yet i'm asleep for fear that the last remaining Sasquatch has been planning a sinister attack on me since the Aliens from the planet Nebutronville dropped him off here in Northern Canada... What does that make you think when you read that?
Dude, yer brain is EXACTLY like a computer that runs on water and 1000's of other chemicals. It also has a "click, alt, delete" button...Hold down all 3 at 1 time and dispose of that "brainfart" before it ruins yer mind/body/soul/life...
Enduronman.
Enduronman
08-09-2012, 08:59 AM
:)
forgot that part..
Truth on all your points but it still doesn't stop my brain from going. I should write it all down. Might make a hell of a scifi novel.
Enduronman
08-09-2012, 09:06 AM
repeat this phrase until you vomit.."live for today, look forward to tomorrow, and have hope for the future"..
and quit buying the National Enquirer!!!
:)
It was actually from some scientific journals. But then I go and read that the solar maximum will be the weakest in decades. Of course each article has to end with "but it doesn't mean doomsday won't happen." Way to cover your bases you fear mongering bastards!
OK, time to go outside and enjoy nature.
Enduronman
08-09-2012, 10:08 AM
YAY!! Go chase a butterfly, and do not give up until you catch him even if he flys to the top of a grainbin that's 80' tall!!! they're easy to catch!!!
:)
daisy84279
08-09-2012, 07:29 PM
Kman, I know exactly how you feel. For about 6 years, I have been terrified of 2012. All the hype about it caused me to slip into depression, and now anxiety. The thought of the world ending, before I even felt like I had started to really live , made me feel like purposeless. What's the point in having dreams if they will never come true? What's the point in doing anything? Ive been told countless times that thinking is ridiculous, no one knows when stuff like that will happen, just don't think like that. That is sooo much easier said than done. I cant just push it out of my mind. These thoughts have practically become reality for me. I've convinced myself that its going to happen. And the closer we get to December 21, the more anxious I'm becoming.
Oh that 2012 stuff has never phased me. Especially when I read the Mayan calendar never accounted for things like leap year, so it should have came and went years ago.
There was no scientific basis in it. 2013 though, remote as it might be, still gives me the shakes. But like EM said, can't change the future, might as well just roll with it.
Like Y2k...nothing there either but people make money fear mongering. I just need to learn to heed my own advice.
dazza
08-10-2012, 01:26 AM
Kman, I know exactly how you feel. For about 6 years, I have been terrified of 2012. All the hype about it caused me to slip into depression, and now anxiety. The thought of the world ending, before I even felt like I had started to really live , made me feel like purposeless. What's the point in having dreams if they will never come true? What's the point in doing anything? Ive been told countless times that thinking is ridiculous, no one knows when stuff like that will happen, just don't think like that. That is sooo much easier said than done. I cant just push it out of my mind. These thoughts have practically become reality for me. I've convinced myself that its going to happen. And the closer we get to December 21, the more anxious I'm becoming.
^
This post is so profound. It reeks depression and suggests a lost soul with a perceived, pointless existance.
Interesting you say "The thought of the world ending, before I even felt like I had started to really live , made me feel like purposeless" stands out, because I have recently concluded that I don't fear death, I actually fear that I haven't lived before death.
There's only one way out of this... and that's to give yourself a massive kick up the arse and start doing things you know you should be doing.
Just do them... don't think about it... force yourself... as tough as it seems... the rewards will be well worth it
You have to assume that you are going to live a LONG and healthy life, therefore it's best you make that a happy one...
Your choice... no-one elses.
Perhaps you'll be a new person on December the 22nd? :-)
Enduronman
08-10-2012, 07:01 AM
^
This post is so profound. It reeks depression and suggests a lost soul with a perceived, pointless existance.
Interesting you say "The thought of the world ending, before I even felt like I had started to really live , made me feel like purposeless" stands out, because I have recently concluded that I don't fear death, I actually fear that I haven't lived before death.
There's only one way out of this... and that's to give yourself a massive kick up the arse and start doing things you know you should be doing.
Just do them... don't think about it... force yourself... as tough as it seems... the rewards will be well worth it
You have to assume that you are going to live a LONG and healthy life, therefore it's best you make that a happy one...
Your choice... no-one elses.
Perhaps you'll be a new person on December the 22nd? :-)
AGREED!! There is nothing to fear....except fear itself. (Charlie Brown)
LMAO!
Enduronman.
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