I finally broke down and went....

[zksmom]

So, I finally broke down, after weeks of dealing with my latest round of panic attacks, and went to the er today. Logically I knew that was dealing with anxiety and panic attacks, rather than something drastically more serious, but I just couldn't shake the thought that more was going on. I was finishing my day at work today when my heart started racing, the center of my chest got extremely tight and I freaked. I was by myself in the office, so hurried up, grabbed my stuff, locked the door and left. That's the point when I decided I couldn't go another day without knowing if more was going on. I just know I can't get past this without knowing. So, I preceded to drive myself to the er, while calling my mother to tell her I was going and she met me there. She's very supportive and understanding with my anxiety as she deals with it some herself. Of course, by the time I got to the er, I already started to feel better. They did the standard ekg, iv, blood work and all came back normal with the exception of my elevated heart rate of 104 when I got there, which went down to 84 by the time I left. Diagnosis, chalk it up to anxiety. Follow up, take xanax as needed up to 3 times a day, as well as the celexa that I am already on and take it easy.

After hearing that again, I know that its time for me to take GREAT effort and get my sh*t together. No more worrying!! I need to live my life and stop just watching it pass me by.

Thanks for listening all. Here's hoping I can stay strong and get past this. Hoping for all of you as well. :)

[Enduronman]

There ya go! That wasnt so bad was it..Now, since you've gotten the "all clear" signal then you already know whats next...relax, work on YOU in all the different ways that you know you need too. Crush and stomp the anxiety, you're in control! I flipped the "No more worrying switch on May 10th". It is a really different type of world to live in, very nice and new to me too!... Congrats!! YAY!!!!

Enduronman.

[zksmom]

Honestly, it feels useless to go to the er. Once they ask your history and they hear you have anxiety, I think they just assume that's what it is. I realize I wasn't having a heart attack, but I still worry about underlying conditions. I do feel better today. Haven't had to take any xanax so far. I'm really trying hard to work through this. It's so difficult.

[dazza]

> Once they ask your history and they hear you have anxiety, I think they just assume that's what it is

Actually, I beg to differ.
They are absolutely obliged to take every case as seriously as the next - regardless.

If you are fobbed off at any point it will be in the waiting room, since they'll have already deduced there's nothing seriously wrong with you and put you at the back of que - making room for the seriously sick who need immediate attention.
(They'll see you again... you'll just need to sit and watch a hour or so of shit TV before it's your turn)

Glad you've got a more "fuck it" attitude from it, though. Sometimes it takes and A&E visit to nudge you along your recovery path and don't be ashamed of it.
(You've probably paid bundles of tax for it anyway)

Word of warning

Despite feeling on top of the world and ready to take on anything today... anxiety triggers & symptoms thereof will almost certainly continue to plague you for some time yet.
Be aware of this, since this condition doesn't (or very rarely) just dissappear over night.

What tends to happen is the severe attacks get less frequent while the severity of those attacks decreases over time.
This battle is won through knowledge, experience, acceptance, understanding & strength - all of which you show to some degree in this thread.
You're on the right tracks...

[zksmom]

Thanks dazza, I do have the attitude today that I'm ready to move on, but by no means am I ready to tackle anything and everything. I've dealt with anxiety for about 8 years now. I had it under control for the most part but recently it came back with a vengence. I just haven't been able to kick it this time. I do think I'm moving in the right direction though. I was able to cry today for the first time since it started back up. I had been so consumed with fear, the sadness of it all couldn't come through, but today it finally did.

I think I realized today that I have no one to look after me, but myself. I have 2 kids and I worry about them sure, but I feel like I can protect them for the most part. I have good friends that I can count on, but none that are really close in distance to me. No one I can just decide to take a walk with whenever, or to hang out with in the evening and go home when its time for bed. I just need someone who understands that can give me a hug whenever I want.

Maybe my anxiety is from loneliness....

[Enduronman]

YES!! "You realized today that you have no one to look after you, but YOU!!!!!"...That in itself was the biggest hurdle to jump, hell it was like high jump with NO pole but you did it!! A HUGE CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU ZAKSMOM!!!

Enduronman.. :)

[zksmom]

Thanks to you too Enduronman. Although, I hardly feel that only having me is comforting. My symptoms have returned this evening, although its mainly major tightness in my chest. My mind still battles with me that anxiety is truly the cause. Sigh....

[Enduronman]

You already know what I'm about to type, and the old adage states: "Rome wasn't built in a day" and then I would add "Because if it were, it wouldv'e fallen down the day after"... Ditch, delete, de-activate the chronic stress triggers all at 1 time. Compile them all up, then flip the garbage disposal switch...You got this Z.K.S!

Enduronman.

[dazza]

Lonliness in itself can be quite depressing & could well be your top-level trigger, however this is probably not the actual thought(s) that's causing the problem(s).

The anxiety trigger usually comprises a couple of levels, which start with a minor thought or event, which in turn digs up some deeper concerns.

E.g.

1. I don't have a partner (top level - not so bad)
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2. Maybe i'll be on my own for the rest of my life (mid level - ut oh, this aint good...)
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3. Maybe i'll die on my own & have a completely shit life ALONE (bottom level - fires the starting gun of anxiety... and you're OFF!)

The best prevention is to try to stop it at level 1 (top).
For example, OK - so you don't have a partner right now... but there's plenty of time for all that and at least you can do as you please and don't have to answer to anyone.

Sing.... "ALWAYS look on the BRIGHT SIDE of life, da dah... da dahhh da da, da dahhhhh..."