8imA
08-04-2012, 04:06 PM
Hi, my name is Ami.
I joined this forum as I felt that a type of 'Group therapy' could be useful.
I have a bit of a varied history with Anxiety / Panic / Stress.
A various points in my life I have experienced panic attacks, Health Anxiety, Stress, Depersonalization, Derealization, Intrusive Thoughts, Paranoia ....
At some points I have no idea what triggers have been.
At this point in my life I know why I have fear, panic attacks but it is not something I am able to discuss right now.
Backgound
I developed Scoliosis as 13 - untreated until 24 when i had x rays but no treatment. Spine is curved like an S but i do not show any visible signs when clothed. More of a secret curve. My curves are classed as severe. I think this may have something to do with some health fears i have picked up.
I had my fist full blown panic attack at 18.
I have experienced the above symptoms (at the top of the page) in various stages of my life since - sometimes not all in one go .. sometimes with months between.
I have never wanted to not be here. (as in harming myself to the extreme)
I smoked since i was 16 until i was 28. I quit because of anxiety alone and didn't need any help as i felt so strongly at the time.
I haven't had any alcohol for 3 years and cannot touch any at all. I don't want to feel out of control.
I no longer take caffiene knowingly (cut out tea, coffee, fizzy pops)
I have limited my sugar intake as much as possible.
Aged 25 i had my first and only experience with drugs (barring standard cigarettes and alcohol) where i smoked cannabis for 3 months but after a bad 'Whitey / attack' I could no longer smoke it.
I will not take any medication. I only take paracetamol in extreme situations. Recently i have been having stupid thoughts that drugs are being slipped to me in foods/drinks. I know these thoughts to be completely irrational. They do scare me as i don't quite know where these thoughts have stemmed from but i believe they must be to do with trust issues regarding my situation. This thought pattern is starting to affect me being able to go out and eat / drink as 'one thought' and i no longer want the food before me (a recent episode happened when my main course arrived and i literally couldn't touch it. I went from hungry to full in seconds and i didn't even want it in my mouth)
It has started to slip into my home life when a drink / food is made for me. I'll drink /eat it and start looking for signs that I am not in control (why on earth i would think my family would do that to me is completely beyond me!)
I have had varied experiences with doctors whereby I have been called a flat out hypochondriac, prescribed meds, told to relax etc.
I think i may have to go back to the doctors soon if the last thought process mentioned continues as it is relatively new and i don't want to go mad or be going mad.
However I hope this forum will see some use for me ... as well as hopefully making some new friends and helping to help each other - after all, we know what it is like ourselves to go through these things!
Sorry of i have rambled ... i'm sure ill speak to a few of you soon .. hopefully :P
Warmest regards
Ami
I joined this forum as I felt that a type of 'Group therapy' could be useful.
I have a bit of a varied history with Anxiety / Panic / Stress.
A various points in my life I have experienced panic attacks, Health Anxiety, Stress, Depersonalization, Derealization, Intrusive Thoughts, Paranoia ....
At some points I have no idea what triggers have been.
At this point in my life I know why I have fear, panic attacks but it is not something I am able to discuss right now.
Backgound
I developed Scoliosis as 13 - untreated until 24 when i had x rays but no treatment. Spine is curved like an S but i do not show any visible signs when clothed. More of a secret curve. My curves are classed as severe. I think this may have something to do with some health fears i have picked up.
I had my fist full blown panic attack at 18.
I have experienced the above symptoms (at the top of the page) in various stages of my life since - sometimes not all in one go .. sometimes with months between.
I have never wanted to not be here. (as in harming myself to the extreme)
I smoked since i was 16 until i was 28. I quit because of anxiety alone and didn't need any help as i felt so strongly at the time.
I haven't had any alcohol for 3 years and cannot touch any at all. I don't want to feel out of control.
I no longer take caffiene knowingly (cut out tea, coffee, fizzy pops)
I have limited my sugar intake as much as possible.
Aged 25 i had my first and only experience with drugs (barring standard cigarettes and alcohol) where i smoked cannabis for 3 months but after a bad 'Whitey / attack' I could no longer smoke it.
I will not take any medication. I only take paracetamol in extreme situations. Recently i have been having stupid thoughts that drugs are being slipped to me in foods/drinks. I know these thoughts to be completely irrational. They do scare me as i don't quite know where these thoughts have stemmed from but i believe they must be to do with trust issues regarding my situation. This thought pattern is starting to affect me being able to go out and eat / drink as 'one thought' and i no longer want the food before me (a recent episode happened when my main course arrived and i literally couldn't touch it. I went from hungry to full in seconds and i didn't even want it in my mouth)
It has started to slip into my home life when a drink / food is made for me. I'll drink /eat it and start looking for signs that I am not in control (why on earth i would think my family would do that to me is completely beyond me!)
I have had varied experiences with doctors whereby I have been called a flat out hypochondriac, prescribed meds, told to relax etc.
I think i may have to go back to the doctors soon if the last thought process mentioned continues as it is relatively new and i don't want to go mad or be going mad.
However I hope this forum will see some use for me ... as well as hopefully making some new friends and helping to help each other - after all, we know what it is like ourselves to go through these things!
Sorry of i have rambled ... i'm sure ill speak to a few of you soon .. hopefully :P
Warmest regards
Ami