Just dont want to live anymore

[Jarv]

Hi guys

Ive been away for a while doing my coursework as best as i can. Im totally fed up with my symptoms of tiredness (Major) lightheadedness (major) and poor eyesght as well as a feeling of nevwe being stable. Ive totally had enough these symptoms have been around for nearly 4 months now and still show absolutley no sigh of going. Every morning i wake up and they are still the same. I cant take it anymore i just want them to LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! But still they wont go. Im so upset and cant believe this is hapening they just refuse to go. Ive tried rescue remedy etc and nothing works. I cant excercise as it just increases the dizziness everything is awful. Everyday i have suicidal thoughts and just cant see a way out of this. All i want is for it to go. tHE doctors arnt any help either. I look at other people who are fine and just want to be like them. I have no strength left now.
Sorry fo wrting such a negative post ive just had enough.

Please help me if you can

Jarvis

[myra]

I have to tell you that there have been days for me like this. The physical side affects are too much to bear sometimes.

But I have learned that everyday is a new day, and day to start again. I've been having this for about 4 weeks now and each day it gets easier, some days it gets harder. When I'm having a bad day, I'll call up someone and talk or just sit by myself and cry. That helps me get a release.

Have you thought about talking to someone about your problems? A therapist? Someone that's going through the same thing?

NEVER give up hope.

[Angel]

I dont know how good or bad this sounds, but i live for tomorrow.

" Tomorrow will be the best motherfucking day of my life."

[The Girl]

Hey there, get your hands on a book by Bronwyn Fox. She has had agoraphobia, anxiety and panic attacks and has written an amazing self help kind of book! i have been implementing what she has advised and i am doing ok! Not everyday is great but most are pretty freaking good!! She saved me!! or try claire weekes!! i thought that i was going to faint all the time, i thought that i was going to die and any number of other things and let me tell you, no matter how bad you might think you are, there are others who have been worse and gotten better, none of your physiological symptoms (caused by anxiety) are going to kill you...if you try to accept them and let them happen, they will leave quicker and you can get on with your life! one foot in front of the other everyday and think positive!!! good luck!!!

[Jarv]

Thanks for the replies guys

I was away for the weekend. I was o.k but just been to work and its such a struggle. Im just sitiing there and feeling my body tense up, Its such a battle.

I know the things claire weeks says will work but its just much easier said than done. Its like i cant help myself. I try to force myself to accept the symptoms but still have trouble. I hate this shit.

Thanks for all your kind thoughts its nice to know people care

Jarvis

[juliana]

Hi guys

Ive been away for a while doing my coursework as best as i can. Im totally fed up with my symptoms of tiredness (Major) lightheadedness (major) and poor eyesght as well as a feeling of nevwe being stable. Ive totally had enough these symptoms have been around for nearly 4 months now and still show absolutley no sigh of going. Every morning i wake up and they are still the same. I cant take it anymore i just want them to LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! But still they wont go. Im so upset and cant believe this is hapening they just refuse to go. Ive tried rescue remedy etc and nothing works. I cant excercise as it just increases the dizziness everything is awful. Everyday i have suicidal thoughts and just cant see a way out of this. All i want is for it to go. tHE doctors arnt any help either. I look at other people who are fine and just want to be like them. I have no strength left now.
Sorry fo wrting such a negative post ive just had enough.

Please help me if you can

Jarvis

Hi Jarv. I hope you're not giving in to those suicidal thoughts. Your post really resonated with me. I have a condition called BPPV (Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo). It's an inner ear disorder. It debilitated me for quite a few years. It causes dizziness -- especially related to motion. When I had it, I felt like the floor and the walls were moving. If I turned my head, everything would shift and do 3 or 4 half spins before settling back where they should be. Rolling over in bed would set my head spinning and I would have to hang onto the edge of the bed because I felt like I would fall off. It turned my world sideways and upside down. Walking eventually became extremely difficult. The floor would sometimes look like it was coming up to smack me in the face. It also causes blurred vision. It's very difficult to focus your eyes -- especially on things that are moving -- like television and computer screens. This is because of something called nystagmus. The pupils move very rapidly back and forth. It's basically your brain sending a message to your eyes to try to sort out all the confusing information coming from your damaged inner ear. Vestibular disorders such as BPPV also cause nausea and intense fatigue. Your body is using up so much energy trying to keep balanced, it is physically exhausting.

So, have you gone to a doctor (an ENT specialist) and gotten your ears tested. Labyrinthitis (which is often a short-term viral infection but can sometimes last years), Meniere's Disease, BPPV and other types of inner ear damage can cause all the symptoms you're describing. Your symptoms may well turn out to be anxiety, but I'm just mentioning this because they sound SO similar to the symptoms of a vestibular disorder.

People with long-term vestibular disorders often develop panic attacks, GAD, agoraphobia and other related conditions because living in a world where everything is shifting and spinning constantly is very unsettling and upsetting. It makes the world a scary place. (My agoraphobia and panic attacks began after I had been living with BPPV for a couple of years.) So, it's worth getting your symptoms checked out and making sure there isn't an underlying physical cause for what you're feeling.

My BPPV has gotten much, much better. I only have the occasional dizzy spell and motion sickness. I have conquered agoraphobia too. I slayed that dragon. I still fight the anxiety, but my panic attacks don't stop me from living a full life. So, regardles of what is going on with you, please remember there is hope. People do get better. YOU can get better!

There's more information about vestibular disorders at this website: http://www.labyrinthitis.org.uk/

[Jarv]

I will look into getting my ears checked out maybe that is the problem. The docs have had a brief look a few times and not really found anything but ill def ask again. I still do think its anxity though as i panick a lot and can almost feel a sort of adrenalin flowing through me espeially in the mornings. But ive got an appointement coming up soon so ill def ask then.

Thanks for the help especially the last lines of your post. I will do my best to keep believing.

Best wishes

Jarvis

[stillfighting07]

Hi guys

Ive been away for a while doing my coursework as best as i can. Im totally fed up with my symptoms of tiredness (Major) lightheadedness (major) and poor eyesght as well as a feeling of nevwe being stable. Ive totally had enough these symptoms have been around for nearly 4 months now and still show absolutley no sigh of going. Every morning i wake up and they are still the same. I cant take it anymore i just want them to LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! But still they wont go. Im so upset and cant believe this is hapening they just refuse to go. Ive tried rescue remedy etc and nothing works. I cant excercise as it just increases the dizziness everything is awful. Everyday i have suicidal thoughts and just cant see a way out of this. All i want is for it to go. tHE doctors arnt any help either. I look at other people who are fine and just want to be like them. I have no strength left now.
Sorry fo wrting such a negative post ive just had enough.

Please help me if you can

Jarvis

Boy does what your saying sound familiar...I feel that way all the time, just tired of the suffering, the only thing that I think that will make this go away is to not focus on it, easier said than done because i'm having the same problem with the tension in my chest..