Hello Newbie here- Need help/advice

[John24]

Hi Everyone,

I just been to town today with a friend and I thought I would be fine. Wore a light jacket as it was forecast to rain but it didnt. it was just too warm so i took it off.

I was fine until we got to town. its the summer holidays and the place was heaving with children and families. I was really hot and beginning to feel anxious and sweaty. one thing i hate is being sweaty!

Anyways i was forced to carry my coat which had all my stuff in, phone/ wallet. Used cash machine fine . Then my mate started talking to her cousin and i could see that she was busy so I sat on a bench nearby. I could see that it was really busy in town and was feeling more n more anxious and just wanted to get home but we had shopping to do. My friend who was with me handed me a bag of bottles and because i was fiddling about with my coat and wallet I wasnt able to take the bag off her straight away and because she got frustrated with me I was more anxious by this point.

I really thought I would be fine today but then i just got so wound up and hot and flustered that my anxiety kicked in. I never used to get so anxious and its affecting not just me but the people around me. Whats wrong with me? Will i ever be 'normal' again?

Sorry for long post i just wanted to explain whats going on in my life. ive been anxious or had anxiety since a horrible breakup with my girlfriend and i sort of avoided going out to avoid her. Could this be why i worry alot and now suffer from anxiety??

[Enduronman]

Girl troubles=anxiety..Bingo! What are you doing to help alleviate the anxiety, and how old are you if I may ask sir?..Mate.. What country too?...I got ideas.

Enduronman.

[John24]

Its not girl troubles lol. Im 24 by the way and im from England

[John24]

Its not girl troubles lol. Oh and im 24 and from England.

[Enduronman]

Oh I'm sorry John..I thought you had typed in your post that "you had a falling out with your girlfriend and you thought it may have had something to do with that??... Hey John from England! I'm Christoph from Sweden (presently in the U.S.)...What are you doing to relieve the "anxiety"???..Just living with it or...IDK??...Nice to meet you. I will be straight-forward so don't be shy bro.. Viking=tame now=funny credit card commercials!! LOL!

Enduronman.

[John24]

That was all two years ago but my anxiety and worry stems from that time in my life. You see i avoided going to town as i was afraid if bumping into her. I still avoid town now to some extent. Its like my anxiety has got worse over the past 2 years.

I have tried CBT and that worked. Im due to go on self help CBT soon. It helps but then it comes back with aq vengeance

[Enduronman]

Do they have medications in England to treat anxiety?..If so, are they hard to get or is it difficult to see a Dr???.. CBT alone obviously isn't the answer friend. You may need "chemical adjust"...

Enduronman.

[drksydeone]

Hey John
I also am into the cbt. Are you tea forming. This is a great way to alleviate a lot of anxiety. I'm moving onto wearing a wrist counter next. I hear you sounds like bullshit right. I always feel better after I Tea form and used in conjunction with the wrist counter helps as well. Before you go surfing you want to make sure you have the right tools. You wouldnt want to jump into the pipeline without at least practicing or wearing a life jacket or having a great board. Yet we try and alleviate our anxiety without any tools. I don't know about you but sometimes my attacks are far worse than surfing the pipeline. Lol. The more tools you use to help change your bad thinking habits, and that's what this is, nothing more than a bad bad thinking habit. Good news bro. Habits can be broken and changed. Keep up the work. Action leads to motivation.

[John24]

Tea forming? eh?

[John24]

What is TEA forming?

[Enduronman]

IDK....never took CBT.

[drksydeone]

Tea forming is tool to use to counter your thoughts. Thought-error-analysis. They are talked about extensively in the book "been there, done that, do this!" by Sam Obitz. Anyway you wrote earlier that your too afraid to go into town in fears that you may run into your girlfriend. So your tea form may look like this. Just an example..

T
I'm not going to be able handling going into town tonight.

E
Jumping to conclusions, reality filter, extreme thinking

A
Bull! I am handling my current situation and last time I went into town was nothing more than an isolated incident. I allow myself to be affected by going into town by my extreme thinking errors. This is a bad habit and I am working on changing my bad thinking habits. Because I feel uneasy doesn't mean my week is ruined. I will go into town when I'm ready to.

Something like that.
But you continually do that with your thoughts. I find doing them in the morning is a good time. By writing this thought and countering it slowly starts to change how we see our dire situations into "not a big deal".

[Enduronman]

Sounds pretty cool actually. This, in COMBINATION WITH medications, and a good social support network would make things dramatically better for sure. We're here John... :)

Enduronman