Michie
07-29-2012, 09:47 AM
*I posted this in the Welcome forum, but thought I might get more help posting it here.
My name's Michelle and I'm 22 years old. I've had minor anxiety for most of my life and have had a significant increase in the past year. I'm not really sure what has triggered the increase, but I'm hoping all of you may be able to give me some insight or advice on this particular issue.
I've tried to pinpoint what this type of fear/ anxiety is and the closest I've come is fear of abandonment. It's not always so prevalent, but there are definitely times where I am so worried that people will not like me. That friends I have had for months/ years will suddenly not like who I am or that I will do something to drive them away.
I'm very jealous (though I try not to be and definitely don't show it) of people who are friends of people I consider close to me and even those who aren't. I'm afraid that people will "take" my friends away from me because I'm not good enough and/ or this other person is better than me.
I also have a habit of "replaying" (as I call it) or overanalyzing situations with people. This can happen with people I've known years, but usually happens more when my anxiety is high. I find myself replaying things I've said and done during our interactions and trying to make sure that I didn't say or do anything offensive, embarrassing, etc. I also find that I need constant reassurance in my friendships. If I don't feel that they have expressed how much they care about me/ enjoy my company, I find myself doubting how much they like me.
Another major issue is that I feel I need to be the "best" friend. I feel so petty thinking/ saying this, but I guess I feel that if I'm their best friend, they won't leave me and that is as good a confirmation of their feelings for me that I can get. If I'm not someone's best friend, I feel that that is a direct reflection of myself. I'm not as good as their closest friend/ their best friend is better than me.
I don't have any of these anxieties in my marriage which I find odd lol.
Hopefully someone will know what I'm talking about and be able to help me get through this. I've tried talking to people, ignoring it, distracting myself, but it always resurfaces and I find myself struggling to stay out of depression.
My name's Michelle and I'm 22 years old. I've had minor anxiety for most of my life and have had a significant increase in the past year. I'm not really sure what has triggered the increase, but I'm hoping all of you may be able to give me some insight or advice on this particular issue.
I've tried to pinpoint what this type of fear/ anxiety is and the closest I've come is fear of abandonment. It's not always so prevalent, but there are definitely times where I am so worried that people will not like me. That friends I have had for months/ years will suddenly not like who I am or that I will do something to drive them away.
I'm very jealous (though I try not to be and definitely don't show it) of people who are friends of people I consider close to me and even those who aren't. I'm afraid that people will "take" my friends away from me because I'm not good enough and/ or this other person is better than me.
I also have a habit of "replaying" (as I call it) or overanalyzing situations with people. This can happen with people I've known years, but usually happens more when my anxiety is high. I find myself replaying things I've said and done during our interactions and trying to make sure that I didn't say or do anything offensive, embarrassing, etc. I also find that I need constant reassurance in my friendships. If I don't feel that they have expressed how much they care about me/ enjoy my company, I find myself doubting how much they like me.
Another major issue is that I feel I need to be the "best" friend. I feel so petty thinking/ saying this, but I guess I feel that if I'm their best friend, they won't leave me and that is as good a confirmation of their feelings for me that I can get. If I'm not someone's best friend, I feel that that is a direct reflection of myself. I'm not as good as their closest friend/ their best friend is better than me.
I don't have any of these anxieties in my marriage which I find odd lol.
Hopefully someone will know what I'm talking about and be able to help me get through this. I've tried talking to people, ignoring it, distracting myself, but it always resurfaces and I find myself struggling to stay out of depression.