cramble
07-28-2012, 12:45 AM
I have had problems with anxiety for as long as I can remember really (I am 16 currently). Today was a bad day. I had arranged with my two closest and really only friends, to have a sleep over at one of their houses. It had been planned a week or so in advance and I had not let my parents know. So then this morning I basically messaged one of them and said I would not be coming. It absolutely destroyed me emotionally but it was like my mind was being torn in two; I had one part telling me to go and have fun; the other was saying I could not do that, to stay home.
An hour or so after this, there was a knock at the door. I freaked and I did not know what to do. My dogs began barking and so I opened the door and told my friends to leave. My dogs ran outside and I shut the door, locking it.
I went and stood in the bathroom, shaking. I felt like a total idiot but I just could not let them in. I went and stood near the door and waited probably half an hour, just listening to my friends talk. Eventually I got up the courage to open the door and bring my dogs inside as it was raining. Really I should have also let in my friends. But I didn’t.
After this they left and I spent about another half hour trying to calm myself down. Now I am sitting here feeling like a pathetic loser and do not know what to do.
Sorry if this is all pathetic, just had to vent.
An hour or so after this, there was a knock at the door. I freaked and I did not know what to do. My dogs began barking and so I opened the door and told my friends to leave. My dogs ran outside and I shut the door, locking it.
I went and stood in the bathroom, shaking. I felt like a total idiot but I just could not let them in. I went and stood near the door and waited probably half an hour, just listening to my friends talk. Eventually I got up the courage to open the door and bring my dogs inside as it was raining. Really I should have also let in my friends. But I didn’t.
After this they left and I spent about another half hour trying to calm myself down. Now I am sitting here feeling like a pathetic loser and do not know what to do.
Sorry if this is all pathetic, just had to vent.