Bad Experience Today

[cramble]

I have had problems with anxiety for as long as I can remember really (I am 16 currently). Today was a bad day. I had arranged with my two closest and really only friends, to have a sleep over at one of their houses. It had been planned a week or so in advance and I had not let my parents know. So then this morning I basically messaged one of them and said I would not be coming. It absolutely destroyed me emotionally but it was like my mind was being torn in two; I had one part telling me to go and have fun; the other was saying I could not do that, to stay home.
An hour or so after this, there was a knock at the door. I freaked and I did not know what to do. My dogs began barking and so I opened the door and told my friends to leave. My dogs ran outside and I shut the door, locking it.
I went and stood in the bathroom, shaking. I felt like a total idiot but I just could not let them in. I went and stood near the door and waited probably half an hour, just listening to my friends talk. Eventually I got up the courage to open the door and bring my dogs inside as it was raining. Really I should have also let in my friends. But I didn’t.
After this they left and I spent about another half hour trying to calm myself down. Now I am sitting here feeling like a pathetic loser and do not know what to do.
Sorry if this is all pathetic, just had to vent.

[surfacing]

It's okay, I've done all sorts of things like this.
Your friends were just coming round to say hi and make sure you're okay. It's only a sleepover - they're not going to hate you forever.
And even after you didnt let them in, just be honest and explain you were freaking out a bit and felt really bad that you'd let them down about the sleepover and were afraid they'd hate you. They will understand, even if they don't straight away. You can always rescue the situation no matter how far it seems to have gone.

Are you seeing anyone about your anxiety?

[misunderstood0412]

I have similar issues sometimes. I recently went on a recent vacation with my best friend and some of her friends and the whole time I was so nervous that I almost didnt even go.

I know this might be hard to do especially when your young but if you have a really good friend you trust you should tell them about whats going on. I have always hid it from everyone except my mom. I recently broke down to my best friend on a really really low day and she wants to learn more to help me. The whole weekend she kept asking if I was ok or if anything would help at that moment and just knowing she cared really helped. I am glad I decided to go and it helped me see that I really can be ok. I am 25 and should be having the time of my life but I usually hang out at home by myself and rarely go out with friends because I get nervous.

If you want to chat let me know!

[dianenixon]

Hey I know totally what u r going through,it's scary,becos u kind of feel that people will think u r crazy if u tell them but actually it's better to talk about it so u don't feel so alone :-)