CharlieJ
02-19-2007, 04:53 AM
This is a problem I have had for most of my life (now in late 40s), but it is becoming particularly obsessive at the moment (and I can't identify any particular trigger). The symptoms appear to be not dissimilar to those of PTSD (obsessive repetition of a situation in the mind for months and even years after the event, uncontrollable feelings of anger, hot flushes, feeling of losing control), though in response to situations that most people would probably regard as irritating, but trivial.
I am very calm most of the time, I try to be considerate of others and I behave like what I feel is a good citizen (e.g. sticking to speed limits, not queue jumping, etc.) but when I see someone 'breaking the rules', this seems to flick a switch inside me and I go into a sort of panic mode where I am terrified that I am going to completely lose control.
Typical situations that trigger these feelings are:
* Cyclists riding through red lights, especially when they weave through pedestrians who are crossing on the 'green man'. I have given up crossing at pedestrian crossings because I obsess about what I might do if this situation happens. Even writing this, I am getting all worked up and the adrenalin is pumping into me, as I imagine pushing a cyclist off his bike if he rode past me while I am 'legally' crossing the road at a crossing.
* Drivers using mobile phones - again, simply seeing a driver using a hand-held mobile flicks a switch in me and for days and weeks afterwards, I fantasize about what I might do - e.g. force him /her off the road and rip the phone out of their hand and smash it on the ground.
* Bus passengers playing loud music - increasingly, I encounter people on the bus playing music out of the loudspeaker on their mobile phone on the bus. I have on occasions tried to get them to turn it off but have been met with abuse or just been ignored - particularly frustrating as none of the other passengers, who are obviously annoyed by the music, give me any support. Again, my mind continually repeats the situation and blows it up into many unpleasant outcomes, e.g. me dragging the person to the front of the bus and throwing them out of the doors.
This has two main effects on me:
* The continued repetition of these situations in my mind is clearly of detriment to my mental and physical well-being. I am all shaky now as I write about it and I'm sure that frequent repetition of this sort of this is not doing my health any good.
* I am highly concerned that my imagined outcomes might one day turn into reality and I really may lose control and do someone some serious harm.
I have suffered from fairly severe depression in the past (not related to this particular issue) and have had counseling, though in my own mind the results of counseling were inconclusive so I would be reluctant to pursue this as a solution to my current problem.
I have been thinking for a few months that I must try and do something to help myself cope with the problem and thought that posting on a forum might be something to try, so I am putting out my problem for public viewing and hoping that I will get some useful responses.
Thanks in advance.
I am very calm most of the time, I try to be considerate of others and I behave like what I feel is a good citizen (e.g. sticking to speed limits, not queue jumping, etc.) but when I see someone 'breaking the rules', this seems to flick a switch inside me and I go into a sort of panic mode where I am terrified that I am going to completely lose control.
Typical situations that trigger these feelings are:
* Cyclists riding through red lights, especially when they weave through pedestrians who are crossing on the 'green man'. I have given up crossing at pedestrian crossings because I obsess about what I might do if this situation happens. Even writing this, I am getting all worked up and the adrenalin is pumping into me, as I imagine pushing a cyclist off his bike if he rode past me while I am 'legally' crossing the road at a crossing.
* Drivers using mobile phones - again, simply seeing a driver using a hand-held mobile flicks a switch in me and for days and weeks afterwards, I fantasize about what I might do - e.g. force him /her off the road and rip the phone out of their hand and smash it on the ground.
* Bus passengers playing loud music - increasingly, I encounter people on the bus playing music out of the loudspeaker on their mobile phone on the bus. I have on occasions tried to get them to turn it off but have been met with abuse or just been ignored - particularly frustrating as none of the other passengers, who are obviously annoyed by the music, give me any support. Again, my mind continually repeats the situation and blows it up into many unpleasant outcomes, e.g. me dragging the person to the front of the bus and throwing them out of the doors.
This has two main effects on me:
* The continued repetition of these situations in my mind is clearly of detriment to my mental and physical well-being. I am all shaky now as I write about it and I'm sure that frequent repetition of this sort of this is not doing my health any good.
* I am highly concerned that my imagined outcomes might one day turn into reality and I really may lose control and do someone some serious harm.
I have suffered from fairly severe depression in the past (not related to this particular issue) and have had counseling, though in my own mind the results of counseling were inconclusive so I would be reluctant to pursue this as a solution to my current problem.
I have been thinking for a few months that I must try and do something to help myself cope with the problem and thought that posting on a forum might be something to try, so I am putting out my problem for public viewing and hoping that I will get some useful responses.
Thanks in advance.