Searching for understanding.

[dissdam0118]

Hello I am a 21 year old female who has suffered with anxiety and panic attacks my whole life. It started as a child always thinking about death, thinking of my family dieing and myself. My first panic attack must have been when i was around 8 in a movie theater with a friend and I remember thinking in the moment that that must be the terror felt with the realization that death is minutes away. Of course it passed and at the time I didnt know those were the first signs of the miserable life Id come to have. Then in middle to high school age those fears transferred from death to people. That fear was so bad I ended up leaving school at 14 and the public school system simply pretended I was never in it as they saw me as a lost cause. Now back to adulthood Im consumed by death again but this time o ly my own same panic attacks everyday with agoraphobia. I now have a daughter and hate to think one day she will resent me for all of this and maybe inheret it. Oh also Id like to add I am a hypochondriac aswell. Anywho thats only a very vauge description of what ive been through and what I go through. Never met another person who may understand how I feel.

[crystalrose1985]

I definitly know how you feel and you surely are not alone! My panic started in my early 20s and just seem to get worse :o(..... I always have a fear of dieing and impending doom and I guess a hypo, I get a little twitch in my head and I think its a stroke or anerism (sp) chest pain or twinge I think its a heart attack. And its so stupid and scary that our bodies can like mimic shitty symptoms that trick us into these feelings.. I've found relaxing music and meditation helps, streching type yoga stuff and lots of deep breathing! I also download apps on my phone for panic assistance and relaxing that help soooo much, even in the car and at bed time....good luck girl and hang in there :o)