Worried about passing anxiety traits to my kids

[crazydaizy]

I have always been made to feel so stupid about having anxiety. I am so worried my kids will have anxiety as well and fear they have already begun to exhibit symptoms....stomach aches, etc.

If I am feeling bad, I try to keep my children from realizing it until it's too late and I have to call on family/friends to occupy my 11 year old until the episode is over. This week has been terrible. My daughter has picked up on the fact that something is wrong and she is demanding answers. She is worrying. I keep telling her everything is ok, but when I come home wearing a holter monitor that answer wasn't acceptable. How can I convince her everything is ok when I am not sure myself? I know my anxiety stems from the plethora of health problems I observed with family members beginning at a very young age.

I am a Christian and I'm trying to leave it all in Gods hands but when the panic takes over its difficult. All I can do is pray for good results to come back from all the tests they've done.

On the upside of things....I've quit smoking. 5 days cig free. But given the fact it seriously effects with serotonin level, I'm wondering if that was such a great Idea right now as I sit with my scalp crawling. :(

[crazydaizy]

I think I'm really over the top right now because I usually am able to say "oh my anxiety is just..." but this time I have abnormal blood work, abnormal EKG, and I have felt like crap for a while now.

I know I have lots of stressors with son leaving for college, work, moving, etc. I really just don't have time right now to deal with sickness or anxiety whichever prevails this time. I'm so exhausted.

My ex husband makes my anxiety out to be a terrible thing to happen in the presence of my children. I have to isolate myself or fight it (fake it til I make it) so they don't know how my insides are going nuts. On top of it, he is the perfect combination of arrogance and asshole so he has the ability to make me question my sanity. And,his wife is a religious zealot who thinks its the devil inside me....I pray for her more than I pray for myself especially since she has the ability to project her ignorance about anxiety onto my children.

I just recently began therapy a couple f months ago. I'm trying to breath deeply as much as possible but the meditation is difficult when I'm shaking on the inside like I have Parkinson's and my shakes and twitching are invisible.

Smoking...after 20 plus years minus Quitting for pregnancy, I can't go back after being quit for five days. My cholesterol is very high, I'm almost 40, I have high blood pressure that I've been medicated for for the past 10.5 years, I have to make this change. Jaw pain came with the chest pains last week. :(

[forwells]

Do little things at a time .

When i started to meditate i could not stop shaking . There where times i had to stop and find something to do and then return later .

Stick with it in a month you will see a difference with things . And its something you will have to find time for . Just 20 minutes a day helps with things .

When i was at my worse i used this site . http://www.anxietycentre.com/ They are Christian based and they have great information that might help you out.

Great to see you quit after that time , its one thing i have not been able to do yet.

You will get there , you just have to learn to understand it all and betters ways to get rid of all that stress .

You ever need a chat drop me a line

cheers kev