New to this!

[samantha1007]

Hi Everyone,

My name is Samantha and I am a 22 year old single mom with twin three year olds. I live in PEI, Canada. I have had depression/anxiety since I was 14. I have severe emetephobia(fear of vomiting) which restricts my daily activities. I have been on anti depressants since I was 14 and have been hospitalized numerous times due to suicide attempts. I am also on Clonazapam three times a day. I have panic attacks every day and it is beginning to ruin my life again. I had a good period of time when I was feeling much better, but lately I have been over the top. I am having old thoughts again and can no longer control my attacks. I have been prescribed ativan but am afraid to take it because of my emetephobia and in fear of being too drowsy to care for my children. When I have an anxiety attack, it usually consists of fear of vomiting, fainting, having a seizure, anurizm, brain tumor, heart attack. The list goes on. My mind is a crazy place. Can anyone somewhat relate? Looking to talk to people with emetephobia, social anxiety, anxiety disorder, OCD, depression, agoraphobia. Any help would be appreciated :(

[Chiliphil1]

Hi, and welcome to the forum. You will find lots of great help here, and more people that can relate to you than you would believe.

From reading your post, it sounds like you should try a couple things, 1 have you seen a therapist for some CBT? 2 how long have you been on the same ad? It seems sometimes once you take a single med for so long it will loose some of its effectiveness and a change could be very helpful.

About the ativan, do not be afraid to take them, it will give you a very calm "mellow" feeling, it can make some people drowsy, but for me it just takes the edge off the anxiety. Try to take. 25 mg close to bedtime and see how that does, personally I can take.. 5 mg and still function normally, albeit without anxiety!

I will warn you, but dont let me scare you. Ativan is a benzodiazepine which can be a highly addictive drug. Take it when you need it, but only when you NEED it, and only take as much as you need, don't take it to unwind or sleep better, just to calm the anxiety when its unbearable. If you take it like this you will be fine. Just dont take it liberally and you will be ok, trust me lots of us are where you are, it gets much better.

[Chiliphil1]

For my above post, the periods did not show up in the doses.

It is .25 mg or 1/4 mg,not 25 mg.

I take .5 or 1/2 mg, not 5 mg.

Just want to clear that up, the doses in the first post would be more appropriate for an elephant!

[samantha1007]

Thank you! That is the amount I was prescribed. Having bad panic attacks all day today. Thinking about taking one to calm down.

[miss_mac666]

I have emeto too, and i also have a 5 yr old. emetophobia it is horrible and i dont know anyone with it. i have no one to talk about it. i have struggled with an eating disorder because of it. i was klonopins myself 3 times daily for 2 yrs but started abusing them. i havent taken any since sept last ear. but now i panic everyday. i eat normally now, but still have problems.

[samantha1007]

Oh my life is consumed by it. Fear of dying and fear of vomiting. I don't even remember what it's like to feel normal anymore. I'm terrified.