hopeNfaith88
07-19-2012, 11:49 PM
Hey guys. I went back to work today after 6 months of not working. To share a lil background info, i slipped into an anxiety flare up and for 4 months i was very depersonalized, constantly anxious. symptoms included: dissociated, insomnia, body aches, dizziness, heart pounding, obsessive worry and thoughts, agoraphobia, depressed, suicidal, hopeless. Unable to drive, spent weeks straight in my house. Thought id never feel better. But i did, slowly but surely.
Today i went back to work. I thought id have time to be able to adequately prep myself, but as life would have it, i returned to work under the worst conditions possible. For one, i had 3-4 hours of sleep last night. Woke up at 615am. Took a very stressful test at my college, 4 hours from my job. I then drove back to my house/where my job is. It torrentiay poured most of the drive like it does in florida this time of year. The usual 4 hours took over 5. I got home with enough time to grab a quick snack, get dressed and rush to work. Now at this point i have SEVERAL panic triggers on my plate: being sleep deprived, being hungry, running late, anticipation anxiety about my first day back. Not to mention, my biggest depersonalization trigger in the past has been the flourescent lights at a supermarket. The cherry on top was my 9.5 hour shift as a cashier on my feet after not being used to it from not working in 6 months.
So i get there. Nothing bad happens. All my coworkers give me a warm welcome. I keep myself relaxed. Have a bottle of water near me. Sure, im tired and would rather be at home sleeping but i get a burst of energy from the confidence high of being at work. Anyway, i just got off of work. Im about to pass out so good in my bed. Now that ive returned to work i feel even mlre back to normal. I was so bad off just a couple months ago. My days would consist of me curled up in a ball crying, too scared to even shower. I hope this gives some of you hope!!
All the best!
Shannon
Today i went back to work. I thought id have time to be able to adequately prep myself, but as life would have it, i returned to work under the worst conditions possible. For one, i had 3-4 hours of sleep last night. Woke up at 615am. Took a very stressful test at my college, 4 hours from my job. I then drove back to my house/where my job is. It torrentiay poured most of the drive like it does in florida this time of year. The usual 4 hours took over 5. I got home with enough time to grab a quick snack, get dressed and rush to work. Now at this point i have SEVERAL panic triggers on my plate: being sleep deprived, being hungry, running late, anticipation anxiety about my first day back. Not to mention, my biggest depersonalization trigger in the past has been the flourescent lights at a supermarket. The cherry on top was my 9.5 hour shift as a cashier on my feet after not being used to it from not working in 6 months.
So i get there. Nothing bad happens. All my coworkers give me a warm welcome. I keep myself relaxed. Have a bottle of water near me. Sure, im tired and would rather be at home sleeping but i get a burst of energy from the confidence high of being at work. Anyway, i just got off of work. Im about to pass out so good in my bed. Now that ive returned to work i feel even mlre back to normal. I was so bad off just a couple months ago. My days would consist of me curled up in a ball crying, too scared to even shower. I hope this gives some of you hope!!
All the best!
Shannon