Melissa.
07-19-2012, 03:49 AM
Hi there I have just been through one of the most traumatic experiences in my life and have recently found out it is called anxiety.
My husband and I were managing a lodge and I was pregnant. We were working with a very unreasonable woman who oversaw the business but didn't really know anything about it and she started making a point of making us miserable. She constantly harassed us through email day and night to the point where we were constantly sick to our stomachs. We never got a day off and during the days leading up to us having the baby she got worse and worse. My entire pregnancy went fine, i left home to have the baby at 11pm and was home by 3am, I bonded and breastfed perfectly fine and honestly don't thing having the baby had anything to do with this. The woman continued to harass and to give you an idea of what it was like she gave us a house inspection when our son was 5days old.
A month later I had numbness in my left hand and cheek, the next day I felt really dizzy really fast, I lay down and then I kept getting dizzy attacks over and over so we went to hospital. On the way I my legs started feeling freezing cold and then I was burning all over my body it hurt so bad. I got electric shocks in my eyes and mouth and way really afraid of what was happening to me. Even at the hospital I was so scared because they couldn't figure out what was wrong. They said my blood pressure was low and that my tests were fine and I appeared calm and not panicked. I eventually felt well en
Over the next few weeks I went to the hospital about 5 times once in the ambulance. I got referred to a neurologist and told that I might have hemiplegic migraines or ms or something neurological. I continued to get numbness, tingling, burning pain, freezing pain, electric shocks, stomach pain, neck pain and full on burning attacks. It was so horrific I cannot even describe how awful it was. I had low blood pressure and at one point it dropped so low that I couldn't feel my legs which is weird. I also didn't have any hyperventilating panic attacks and never felt like my heart was racing or thumping.
Finally I got told I had anxiety and given some Lorazapam which didn't really work and then some citalopram. After that I got worse and I felt so awful that I thought I was not going to live another 5 minutes. I went to the doctor and he explained that the citalopram makes you alot worse before it makes you better. Thank goodness. After that I started forcing myself to get better and slowly I did but then I started getting paranoid. I thought that people walking up the street were going to jump out and kill me, I went to the toilet and ran out without washing my hands incase someone came in and killed me. I panicked about the food I was eating and all the poisons in it. I watched a conspiracy theory documentary and panicked that the government would kill us all. I worried about the world ending and pretty much anything related to dying. My paranoia started getting worse and worse but then I talked to my doctor who said I might need to see a psychiatrist and I thought 'no that is not what I need' and I started going out more taking the kids to playcentre, long walks and the duck pond and the paranoia went away.. though I still feel a bit weird being out in public I just think to myself ' I feel weird but I am going to do this anyway and if I feel weird then that okay'
I really worked hard on controlling it and slowly got better and better. I am doing pretty well now and am drinking lots of water and eliminating junk food, sugar and coffee from my diet. I focus on my two beautiful children and my wonderful husband and use breathing techniques regularly throughout the day. I am also starting embroidery which helps heaps it keeps my hands busy and stops me thinking so much I still get burning pain every now and then which I have learnt is adrenaline. I also get quite distress when thinking about how when I die I won't exist and what if theres no afterlife and what if there is but Im not doing the right things so I get punished in the afterlife and stupid stuff like that. This has been such a massive ordeal for me and I still can't believe that your mind can make you so sick and feel so much pain when there is nothing wrong with you. Before this I always thought people who suffered from anxiety were just too lazy to deal with their problems now I know that it is such an awful thing to go through and there is nothing you can do about it. I really feel for people who have had to deal with it their whole lives I have only had a few months and thats enough
My husband and I were managing a lodge and I was pregnant. We were working with a very unreasonable woman who oversaw the business but didn't really know anything about it and she started making a point of making us miserable. She constantly harassed us through email day and night to the point where we were constantly sick to our stomachs. We never got a day off and during the days leading up to us having the baby she got worse and worse. My entire pregnancy went fine, i left home to have the baby at 11pm and was home by 3am, I bonded and breastfed perfectly fine and honestly don't thing having the baby had anything to do with this. The woman continued to harass and to give you an idea of what it was like she gave us a house inspection when our son was 5days old.
A month later I had numbness in my left hand and cheek, the next day I felt really dizzy really fast, I lay down and then I kept getting dizzy attacks over and over so we went to hospital. On the way I my legs started feeling freezing cold and then I was burning all over my body it hurt so bad. I got electric shocks in my eyes and mouth and way really afraid of what was happening to me. Even at the hospital I was so scared because they couldn't figure out what was wrong. They said my blood pressure was low and that my tests were fine and I appeared calm and not panicked. I eventually felt well en
Over the next few weeks I went to the hospital about 5 times once in the ambulance. I got referred to a neurologist and told that I might have hemiplegic migraines or ms or something neurological. I continued to get numbness, tingling, burning pain, freezing pain, electric shocks, stomach pain, neck pain and full on burning attacks. It was so horrific I cannot even describe how awful it was. I had low blood pressure and at one point it dropped so low that I couldn't feel my legs which is weird. I also didn't have any hyperventilating panic attacks and never felt like my heart was racing or thumping.
Finally I got told I had anxiety and given some Lorazapam which didn't really work and then some citalopram. After that I got worse and I felt so awful that I thought I was not going to live another 5 minutes. I went to the doctor and he explained that the citalopram makes you alot worse before it makes you better. Thank goodness. After that I started forcing myself to get better and slowly I did but then I started getting paranoid. I thought that people walking up the street were going to jump out and kill me, I went to the toilet and ran out without washing my hands incase someone came in and killed me. I panicked about the food I was eating and all the poisons in it. I watched a conspiracy theory documentary and panicked that the government would kill us all. I worried about the world ending and pretty much anything related to dying. My paranoia started getting worse and worse but then I talked to my doctor who said I might need to see a psychiatrist and I thought 'no that is not what I need' and I started going out more taking the kids to playcentre, long walks and the duck pond and the paranoia went away.. though I still feel a bit weird being out in public I just think to myself ' I feel weird but I am going to do this anyway and if I feel weird then that okay'
I really worked hard on controlling it and slowly got better and better. I am doing pretty well now and am drinking lots of water and eliminating junk food, sugar and coffee from my diet. I focus on my two beautiful children and my wonderful husband and use breathing techniques regularly throughout the day. I am also starting embroidery which helps heaps it keeps my hands busy and stops me thinking so much I still get burning pain every now and then which I have learnt is adrenaline. I also get quite distress when thinking about how when I die I won't exist and what if theres no afterlife and what if there is but Im not doing the right things so I get punished in the afterlife and stupid stuff like that. This has been such a massive ordeal for me and I still can't believe that your mind can make you so sick and feel so much pain when there is nothing wrong with you. Before this I always thought people who suffered from anxiety were just too lazy to deal with their problems now I know that it is such an awful thing to go through and there is nothing you can do about it. I really feel for people who have had to deal with it their whole lives I have only had a few months and thats enough