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View Full Version : Horrible first therapy appointment...feeling much worse now



Shana
07-17-2012, 11:23 AM
After suffering form feelings of constant anxiety and intermittent depression since I was 13 years old I finally decided to ask my doctor for a referal to see a therapist. I've been having some medical tests and procedures done lately which have really increased my biggest source of anxiety (health phobia). I was really hoping therapy coudl help me feel less anxiety over this and be better able to get medical treatment.

I started out telling the therapist how i've felt anxious and depressed since I was 13, when I was diagnosed with a chronic spinal problem. Since then i've had horrible anxiety over health concerns, hypochondria, fear of medical procedures, fears that i'm dying, fears that I have some kind of disease. He just told me anxiety is natural and I should learn to live with it the best I can and focus on the positive.

So then I tried to explain some troubling physical symptoms i've started having in the last year which I think are brought on by my anxiety: tightness in my chest, shortness of breath, dizzyness, and trouble swallowing when I eat. Instead he told me the way I describe my trouble swallowing doesn't fit with anxiety and he doesn't think my problems are psychological at all. I've had tests done by my doctor already and he's told me I need to try to stop worrying and calm down.

This therpist then goes on a rant about how my other doctors are just too lazy to diagnosis me with a real illness. He angrily gives me back the diagnostic questionnaire I had filled out for anxiety and depression and tells me "mam, you don't qualify for an anxiety or depression disorder." The test had asked me to answer if I had been experiencing increased symptoms within the last 2 weeks. It just so happened I had been feeling better the last 2 weeks. But what about the fact that my feelings are chronic? He didn't seem to care, just told me the test doesn't lie. To further prove his point, he asked me what anxiety meds i'm on (i've never asked to be treated for it before), and I said "none"...his response was "exactly". Then he opens up his computer and starts searching for possible diseases that could casue my symptoms and horrible medical tests used to diagnose them. I just couldnt' believe it, i've tried hard over the years not to randomly search for diseases that could cause my various strange symptoms and now here's a medical professional doing exactly the same thing. I kept saying ok, I get it, i'll go back to my doctor, but he just kept reading off the internet about diseases and horrible tests used to diagnose them. He used up the whole session this way. I just sat there trying to tune him out, trying not to cry, I wanted to leave but I was just so shocked and confused as to why he would treat me this way. At the end he told me he would still see me to talk about other areas in my life that i'm a littel unhappy about. But not anxiety or depression.

I immediately went to my family doctor crying and asked for a new referal. It will be another 2 months before I get one. I've always been scared of going to a therapist and now I feel like giving up on it again. I'm shocked this guy is in the medical system, and being funded by the government. Also I feel so much worse now. It's so much harder to relax and tell myself there's nothing wrong with me, and not to worry when this guy has actually vlidated and fed the irrational fears i've been having all my life.