Somethings i thought were normal.

[Angel]

For a while.

I think I was about 10 (now im 20) when i starfted having diffikulty swallowing.


It doesnt hurt to swallow, i just kant get it in my head to swallow my food, if its not me thinking about possibly choking to death, its about looking like an idot, especially in publik, and it fucking sucks. I probably look really fucking awkward, especially at my overnight job ( Overnight due to not having to deal with customers...haha) when we all have breaks and lunch at the same time and are i nthe same OVERly lit room. Im on fucking spotlight.

But I aktually thought it was normal for a while and i just kant do it regular...even alone (although a bit more komfortable) i feel the need to grab on to something and brace myself everytime i swallow.....even for the simple akt of just swallowing...just to klear my mouth.

sucks..



OH

And i wake up choking every now and then, or jumping out of bed and thinking im gonna die....been doing that since before my teen years also..


and i stage dove for the first time yesterday.....was fucking fun..and now my arm krunches every now and then.

[jitters]

Your arm will recover. (rock on!)

The choking thing when eating is very common I went through a spell like this just before Xmas, but now its gone seems to last about as long as you remember it is there.

Duncan

[juliana]

Hi Angel. That's the form my panic attacks take -- an inability to swallow. When I was recovering from agoraphobia, I would take short walks around the neighbourhood and would actually have to hold on to a tree -- to brace myself -- in order to swallow. It's so frustrating when something that should be totally natural becomes so difficult. You start overthinking it.

Sometimes, when I'm in a restaurant, I can't even swallow soup or take a sip of water because I know I won't be able to swallow it. There have been times when I have to actually rush to the bathroom to spit out a mouthful of water because I can't make myself swallow it. Sometimes when I'm in a grocery store -- in a long line -- my throat starts tightening up and I can't swallow. I have to drop all the groceries and go outside. It's not until I'm outside and bracing myself against a wall that I can swallow again.

It's so hard to explain to other people who have never experienced it because it sounds crazy. Swallowing should be natural. They tell me to just swallow, but at times it is the most difficult thing in the world.

When my panic attacks were much worse than they are now, I used to get these attacks while I was home alone, so I started challenging them. I would force myself to swallow -- I was alone and I figured -- what's the worst thing that could happen? I could choke and have a coughing fit or I might throw up. Well, it turned out neither of those things happened. Sometimes, it would take two or three times, and bracing my hand on the coffee table to make myself swallow, but I could do it and over time, I was able to do it in public too. It does get easier. I still get attacks where I have to leave the room -- go outside, hold onto something, or go to the ladies room -- to swallow, but it happens much less frequently.

Try to figure out what you're afraid will happen when you swallow and challenge that fear. Try opening your mouth as far as possible and try to relax your jaw (this helps with nausea too, btw). It's hard to relax your jaw when you're stressed about swallowing, but focus on it until your jaw feels looser, and then close your mouth again and see if that makes it easier to swallow. Good luck and keep us posted! You're not alone in this.

[Angel]

First off, thank you both for your posts.

Jitters- Hell yeah, there is a koncert this firday, so i will be at it again...until my arm falls off...then ill just keep going.


Juliana- REal name? if so, very very pretty.
If not...its still a pretty name, dont you think?

Thanks for your advice. I guess i just never really think about taking steps in making it better, i mean i've been dealing with it for a dekade...and im only two dekades old.

So seriously, Fifty percent of my life, i havent been able to swallow good.

But...i kant remember if i said i held on to things to swallow. but i do that too...all the damn time, or i kover my face, and i still kant do it.

And i had Agoraphobia also. I think i might still have it to an extent, but its getting dealt with dramatikally. I still wont feel right leaving this town...yet. or driving long distances by highway.



But ill take your advice, kause this really sucks.

[juliana]

Angel, I'm glad you're getting out there and having fun. The more you get out there, the more confidence you get, and the anxiety does lessen.
Travel is still daunting for me, but I make myself do it. It's the anticipation of fear that's the hardest to deal with. Once I'm actually on my way, I have a great time. You just have to make yourself DO IT!!!

Thanks for the compliment on my name. Juliana is my real middle name. I like it too. ;)

Cheers babe. Have fun at the concert! Rock 'til your arm falls off! :mrgreen:

[jitters]

Angel maybe that should be your signature.

Rock ' till you arm falls off!

:devil:

Duncan