AceParadox
07-15-2012, 09:57 AM
I'm Dan, I'm 20 years old as of Thursday and I, unfortunately, have just begun my battle with anxiety issues. My first Panic Attack was last fall when I was up early in the morning and went outside to breath in some crisp morning air. Sitting in a cozy chair on my patio I began to relax, I closed my eyes and just listened to the birds chirp taking deep breaths. I don't know how long this went on for but I eventually felt...nothing. I felt completely weightless. I didn't move my arms or legs at any time during this so I didn't see reason to move them now I felt completely relaxed, when suddenly a fear struck me like a bolt of lightning and it said, "What if I'm dead...? What if something just happened to me and I didn't even know it, and now I'm dead, I mean... I can't feel anything. I feel like a ghost!" I had no idea I had perhaps actually attained a state of deep meditation. I leaped up and felt very light, which started my heart thumping, walking to my door didn't feel like walking, it felt like I was gliding over the ground. Since it was still dark, I only saw black and white which convinced me more that I was floating around in the afterlife (As dumb as that sounds)
I suddenly felt very dehydrated with dry mouth occurring, so I rushed to my fridge and grabbed a bottle of cold water, I also started to feel really hot so I put the bottle against my chest and moved it around to the back of my neck and on my forehead in a frantic attempt to cool myself down. I guzzled half the bottle then got on my computer and opened my facebook and put on a movie just to convince myself I was still alive and fine, especially since I just opened my own fridge to get a bottle of water, but my mind wouldn't accept it for some reason. I didn't feel myself at all, I started to feel exhausted, and didn't even take the time to shut my computer down normally, I hit the kill switch and flopped onto my bed (thankfully next to my computer) as I started to feel as if I was going to black out.
As I lay there, my mind was a chatterbox, I was trying to tell myself to calm down and that everything is fine, while my mind was telling me I wasn't and that something was terribly wrong. It's like it was saying "What do you mean you're fine?! Your heart is like overclocked, and you're feeling nauseous, not yourself, ect. Alright, alright, so maybe you're not dead...but wait.... you could be dying!!! Ahh! Panic some more!" and now I was full on praying for relief, contemplating calling an ambulance as I thought I may be having a heart attack, and just trembling, even under blankets and warm, I was trembling with fear. I listened to my MP3 player, and luckily had some relaxing Binaural Beats on there that I used to help fall asleep at night. After that I felt better... and could finally fall asleep.
Sorry for the giant story, but it actually kinda helped to tell it :P Symptoms went away for while until just recently when I had surgery for my appendix. Had a dream during recovery that freaked me out, and that started all this. I got over the dream, but the anxiety seems to find other ways to trigger. It now comes anytime I feel negative emotions around me (People argueing, yelling, violence in movies, ect.), but I'm staying positive. I'm seeing my doctor this week to see about getting a referral to a counselor and stuff... hopefully it works out. Anyway, glad I found a community with people who actually understand what I'm going through. My friends are clueless.
I suddenly felt very dehydrated with dry mouth occurring, so I rushed to my fridge and grabbed a bottle of cold water, I also started to feel really hot so I put the bottle against my chest and moved it around to the back of my neck and on my forehead in a frantic attempt to cool myself down. I guzzled half the bottle then got on my computer and opened my facebook and put on a movie just to convince myself I was still alive and fine, especially since I just opened my own fridge to get a bottle of water, but my mind wouldn't accept it for some reason. I didn't feel myself at all, I started to feel exhausted, and didn't even take the time to shut my computer down normally, I hit the kill switch and flopped onto my bed (thankfully next to my computer) as I started to feel as if I was going to black out.
As I lay there, my mind was a chatterbox, I was trying to tell myself to calm down and that everything is fine, while my mind was telling me I wasn't and that something was terribly wrong. It's like it was saying "What do you mean you're fine?! Your heart is like overclocked, and you're feeling nauseous, not yourself, ect. Alright, alright, so maybe you're not dead...but wait.... you could be dying!!! Ahh! Panic some more!" and now I was full on praying for relief, contemplating calling an ambulance as I thought I may be having a heart attack, and just trembling, even under blankets and warm, I was trembling with fear. I listened to my MP3 player, and luckily had some relaxing Binaural Beats on there that I used to help fall asleep at night. After that I felt better... and could finally fall asleep.
Sorry for the giant story, but it actually kinda helped to tell it :P Symptoms went away for while until just recently when I had surgery for my appendix. Had a dream during recovery that freaked me out, and that started all this. I got over the dream, but the anxiety seems to find other ways to trigger. It now comes anytime I feel negative emotions around me (People argueing, yelling, violence in movies, ect.), but I'm staying positive. I'm seeing my doctor this week to see about getting a referral to a counselor and stuff... hopefully it works out. Anyway, glad I found a community with people who actually understand what I'm going through. My friends are clueless.