anxious_annaaaa
07-14-2012, 09:15 AM
Okay so I'm 21 and I've been suffering from panic disorder, depression, and OCD since the age of 12. I re started therapy a couple weeks ago, but lately I have been having scary thoughts that are honestly consuming me. I was dating this one kid for over a year, and we always had unprotected sex because we thought we were gonna get married. I now realize that was a dumb decision, but recently I've found out that he has supposedly been with 27 girls. He is a habitual liar, so I don't know if that's accurate, but I'm freaking out because one of my biggest fears is HIV. I'm worried that I have that or some other awful thing, and all I can think at the moment is that I'm gonna die, and it feels like no matter what I do to distract myself, I can't think of anything else. I don't wanna go out, my mind is always racing, I honestly don't even wanna move off my couch or even talk to my friends. I obsessively look up symptoms of hiv on the internet, and i havent had a single one of them, but im still freaking out. I am going for my yearly physical on Friday, and I think I'm gonna get bloodwork done just to put my min at ease, but i feel like I'm going to go completely insane until then. any advice so that i don't lose my mind? :/