freaking out!

[anxious_annaaaa]

Okay so I'm 21 and I've been suffering from panic disorder, depression, and OCD since the age of 12. I re started therapy a couple weeks ago, but lately I have been having scary thoughts that are honestly consuming me. I was dating this one kid for over a year, and we always had unprotected sex because we thought we were gonna get married. I now realize that was a dumb decision, but recently I've found out that he has supposedly been with 27 girls. He is a habitual liar, so I don't know if that's accurate, but I'm freaking out because one of my biggest fears is HIV. I'm worried that I have that or some other awful thing, and all I can think at the moment is that I'm gonna die, and it feels like no matter what I do to distract myself, I can't think of anything else. I don't wanna go out, my mind is always racing, I honestly don't even wanna move off my couch or even talk to my friends. I obsessively look up symptoms of hiv on the internet, and i havent had a single one of them, but im still freaking out. I am going for my yearly physical on Friday, and I think I'm gonna get bloodwork done just to put my min at ease, but i feel like I'm going to go completely insane until then. any advice so that i don't lose my mind? :/

[Absolut100]

I'm not really sure that it will help you out much but when I am having really irrational thoughts my therapist reminds me to ask myself "what evidence do I have that this is true?". As you said yourself, you have no evidence that you have HIV or that you are dying prematurely. Also, just to reassure yourself, check in with your doctor to get bloodworm done. Also, stop using the Internet to check symptoms. In my opinion when you have anxiety that is ALWAYS a bad idea.

Keep your head up. You'll be okay.

[miss_mac666]

just get a test for all STD's. And please believe the test, its like 100% accurate.