New member looking for people like me

[grubbii]

All-
First post...
A little about myself. I am a male, nearly 40. I currently have a high-level, 6-figure job at a fortune 5 business. I have a Master's Degree and consider myself very intellectual. I recently bought a new home...am VERY happily married and have 2 beautiful children (son, 21 months; daughter, 4 months). In fact, this is the happiest I've ever been. So, why, pray tell is my anxiety worse than its ever been?

I am on 10mg Lexapro and see a Psychotherapist twice a week.

Some days I never feel a thing, and others (like today) I felt so anxious at the office I just felt like "I have to get out of here." and came home. As an intellectual, I feel that I am "better" than this and should be able to overcome this. Some days I think "I've overcome every obstacle in my life" and other days, I feel like "I'll never get past this."

I try all sorts of things...I just did meditation for the first time...I am going to try and incorporate it into my day. I am trying to reach out, so I don't feel so isolated. I just want to know that I am not the only "professional" and ADULT that deals with this...and I want to know that it CAN be overcome (I'm hoping someone on here will have that very story).

Anyways...I should be on here for a while...trying to get better.

[Absolut100]

Welcome!!

I am a professional also with a Bachelor's degree. I too felt like I should be able to overcome this, especially since my education is heavy in Psychology.

I recently started seeing a therapist and we have been exploring my anxiety as it is related to not having a "goal" to achieve. I am very type A personality. From your post it seems that you are at the top of your game. Do you feel like you have nothing else to achieve?

We are also exploring PTSD related to the birth of my daughter. Do you have any past trauma?

Sometimes there are just some genetic tendencies toward anxiety.

At this point I am doing CBT with a therapist coupled with medication. The most helpful to this point has been educating myself. The more that I know about anxiety the less I let it rule my life.

We are all here for support. Stick around and offer your thoughts!

[Amy1986]

Hi :)

Yes you can, haha the vague version of 'can I overcome' :)

I myself was in a very high demanding job, I was a head pastry chef at one of the best restaurants in the UK. I was working over 80 hrs a week, running my kitchen to constant perfection all the while trying to have a life outside the shackles of my oven lol

I have since stopped that, I now work for a catering company and I couldn't feel better ATM without all the stress etc

But the funny think is, I was very very sick five years ago, I was agoraphobic ( literally didn't leave the house for months and months) I had to quit my job and my life really, BUT after one year of med/therapy I was moved out and had full independence. Then I took several high pastry positions at some very good places, over the years I have had 2 bad relapses but ALWAYS come bouncing back. Right now when I look at my life I have a wedding to plan, and uni to start preparing for, for a second career path. (plan to study child/adolescent counselling) this time five years ago I was terrified in everything but now, now I'm living in a different country, support around me and frankly when I have a bad day I tell myself to stop being such a girl lol I'm in the total 'fuck you anxiety' stage hahaha

Your mind can overcome everything :)

[grubbii]

Thanks, both of you - for responding. Sometimes, I just feel like I cannot control it and that (to me) is the most frustrating part. Of course, this is what we talk about in therapy...my (mistaken) belief that I can control everything...which, apparently, I cannot. :)

[Absolut100]

Sometimes I think that need to "control it" is what makes it that much worse. I know from my own experiences that when I have a thought or a symptom I want to make it stop. That is where my cycle begins. I try to make the thought/symptom stop and that makes me anxious. From there, I try to tell myself that I am not going to be anxious which makes it worse. Two hours later I realize that I have been in my own head trying to control things that are completely out of my relm of control. I am really working on the CBT and trying very hard to get the "fuck you anxiety" attitude. I hope that you have good luck with therapy!!