Anxiety kickstarted again by girlfriends rape

[hopeNfaith88]

I was doing ok, but my girlfriend was raped and i feel like its hurt me more than her. We have been together 5 years. In the past shes cheated on me, but we have been working things out.

About 3 weeks ago she got a wild hair up her ass and started doing hardcore drugs...smoking meth, snorting molly powder, snorting adderall, even injecting heroin because she met a girl she started partying with at her new job. Anyway, about a week ago she accepted a ride from this girls friend. He is in his 30s (she is 20). She said he took her to his house, tied her up, forcingly injected her with meth, and then took off her clothes and raped her in every hole possible. He used a dirty needle on her after using it on himself according to her, and also did not wear a condom. She had bruises on her thighs and pelvis area/hips.

She told me this, but refuses to go to the hospital to get std prevetion treatment or to file a police report. Im very frustrated with her and its set me into such a deep dark pit of anxiety. I want to know what would you do in this situation? Would you leave her or trust her word and just be there for her even though she wont do something about it? I cant sleep with her because she may have something. Shes crying and remorseful but i cant help but wonder if she was just high on drugs and did something she later regretted so now shes telling me she was raped. Because she has lied so much to me in the past, along with cheating. I have my doubts about this but i dont want her to know that. she was a virgin and had never been with a man before this incident. We are in a lesbian relationship.

I forgot to add why i have doubts. I spoke to the guy to tell him off, and he told me that they didnt have sex. He said they got high together, got naked and were on the couch making out but his room mate came home and they couldnt do anything. But he said she told him she had never been turned on by a guy until him. It really upset me. I think she was curious to be with a guy or something. But then again he has every reason to lie to me. So i just dont know. I feel pathetic even posting this on here but its fucking with me so much

[miss_mac666]

Seems you both have things to work out. and honestly i dont think she will report it. 90% of rape victims dont report the rape, and most times never tell anyone about it. its a horrifying thing to go through. if you need to talk, because this is such a personal and very scary thing to talkabout, feel free to message me and i will gladly give any advise i can possibly provide. best wishes
Claire

[miss_mac666]

or come to the chat and talk?

[natigirl513]

Get on chat or message me :) proud to help

[kmarie30]

Hmmmm sounds scary but pardon me for saying but maybe did she really want to sleep with him? Who just accepts coke and meth etc....gay women are just as curious as gay men but this sounds fishy for sure. Maybe find out if this was something maybe she secretly wanted then react. It's quite common bit it all sounds too scary. But if it is true. Just be a real liver and work through it. All the best!

[dazza]

Dump it.

Sounds like a shit load of trouble to me.

[jessy]

I agree with Dazza !!!
:-(
I'm sorry for what you are going through x

[sharjen]

Wow- you poor thing no wonder your feeling anxious that's proper hardcore stuff!! Do u really want to live around all that ?? If I was u I would thing long and hard, is the situation worth it? if she's been in them kinda drugs once it will happen again!! Hope u sort things out one way or another- take care x

[dazza]

Dumped it yet?

Hope so...

She's TRASH and ya don't need that kinda rubbish dragging you down with it.

[Absolut100]

I agree with dazza!

[Chiliphil1]

I agree too, time to move on. Someone who has no more respect for themselves than this cannot possibly have respect it love for you. It is time to move on.

[miss_mac666]

Dumped it yet?

Hope so...

She's TRASH and ya don't need that kinda rubbish dragging you down with it.

ahhh im so happy you said that.. i wanted too but didnt want to be harsh lol.. my opinion is that she was giving you a bs story to cover up her rough cheating and drug abuse. let it go. move on. better woman out there. :)

[Yanni]

To quote Snoop Dogg "drop it like it's hot."

Do you have the guy's name? If so, call the police, tell them what your girlfriend told you. Accepting the repercussions for her, but remember, you're doing her a favor.
If you want to talk it out, you can always PM me and we can Chat on the site's chat.
seriously, dump her. If she's going to do shit loads of drugs and cheat on you, it's not worth your time. If she was lying about being raped to cover up her cheating, dumb her because that's BS. If the cops find out she was lying about being raped, she'lll get what's coming to her legally.
Good luck.

[laurandisorder]

Oh Hope :(

What a shitty, shitty situation. Just when we feel like we are getting on top of things, something has to come out of somewhere and slap us back down.

As another girl in a somewhat crap situation relationship-wise, I have to tell you to find a balance between your heart and your head.

Head says:
The drug stuff is unacceptable. You do NOT need that in your life. Recreational drugs can be fun if they are used recreationally - and I am talking the soft stuff here. Everyone has different 'lines drawn in the sand' when it comes to drugs, but to me injecting ANYTHING is messed up. (To me personally, all drugs are a no no, but I don't judge people who indulge occasionally). it's dangerous, it's dirty and it's addictive as hell.

Also you HAVE to tell your girlfriend to report it to the police and instruct her that if she does not, you will. This will actually help you out in two ways - you can gauge her reaction. She will freak out if it was consensual and you will just come across as the caring overly anxious girlfriend. The police won't press charges of she doesn't want to, so if this guy is telling the truth, no harm done.

Then the heart...
Do you love her? Are you in love with her? Look at her and think about not having her - does it hurt almost physically?

Also, how will she react to this and how will you respond? You need to think about what repercussions this break up could have and how YOU will deal with them.

Whilst my gut instinct would be to get the f*ck outta there, I don't know your whole story. You sound like a volatile couple (and a volatile pair of individuals). Think it through. Tread carefully. Above all else, do what is right for YOU.

xxxx

[amneasy]

I agree with the people saying you should dump her. Sounds like she's a very troubled girl and not the right kind of person to have around when you suffer from anxiety. You deserve someone better.

[hopeNfaith88]

Thanks for all the feedback guys. I decided to break up with her and did so last night. Its been a really hard day. We dated for 5 years from when i was 15 to 21. I weighed the pros and cons, tried so hard to talk it through, but when i found out from her mom yesterday that on my birthday (this july 10th) she was with her ex boyfriend(maybe current boyfriend who knows) smoking meth all night, when she cancelled our plans together because she said she had a stomach ache and wanted to go to sleep. After her mom told me this, i asked her about it and she confirmed that it was true. I appreciated her hoensty but damn i just couldnt be walked all over anymore so that was it. Plus she was stealing my pills consistantly the last few months. Just another reason.

For some reason after more than enough reason to leave her, i still find myself wanting to stay with her. Fuck i really get annoyed with myself sometimes. Co dependent relationships do this to ya. Hoping to stay strong day by day

[Chiliphil1]

Good to hear. It will be hard because you will long for the old times, but remember the old times are done. This is not the same person, whenever you get reminiscent just think of these things and move on. The world is open to you now, dont look back.

[miss_mac666]

good to hear. youo absolutely do not need the stress of that kind of bull shit. it will make you a stronger person and you will find a better girl and hopefully have a healthy relationship. good luck with everything :)

[laurandisorder]

Good for you Hope.

I hope you have that feeling of relief and weight off the shoulders that comes with knowing that you have made the right decision.

I really know how you feel being let down and disappointed because of a partner who is drug-f*cked and negligent.

My partner ruined my birthday (also July 10th - seriously... Are you gay me?) for the THIRD time this year and I guess because he's so unstable and because we have 8 years behind us and a house/mortgage *and* he owes me $25K, I have to wait for the right time.

Being single will really give you time to work on yourself and also gauge exactly how much your relationship has influenced your anxiety.

I wish you luck and strength to move forwards

xxx