Derealization

[m123]

This is my second post here.

I just wanted to post something whilst my head was in a "less panicking" way.

Derealization... I've had it for about 6 years? Well, I only noticed it 6 years ago maybe. Is it just a perception? I literally struggle to feel connected with reality. I live with it fine mainly because I have come to accept it as being me. But I feel so detached from everything and everyone. I know I love my girlfriend, my mum and my friends and family... but it just doesn't feel real. Well, it does... but not. Derealization is something that can't be explained in my eyes (In my eyes it could lol). Its only since 4 weeks ago that I have felt so bad again... I haven't felt like this for years... Maybe never of felt this bad. I guess that is my severe anxiety that loves to tell me these things though. I haven't had panic attacks this bad ever. But I like to think that I have never felt this bad before mainly because my last "episode" I wasn't as knowledgeable as I am a now bit older now. I don't even know if this is making sense but i hope it is!

My main worry is that it is more than anxiety... To feel as detached as I am, it must be something far worse. I seek reassurance everyday. I can't just go to my doctor and say: "Any chance of arranging a full body scan, tests, etc etc?" I have so many symptoms of so many illnesses. What the %$^& is my life meant for? In no way am I suicidal or thinking to hurt myself. I love my body to much. (Not in a big headed way). Its just thinking long and hard about it... its pretty pointless at the end of the day :/

Anyone that feels the same way as I do or similar... feel free to get in touch with me. No doubt we can give each other some reassurance. More like add more worries to each other lol. (I'm joking).

I just want my sanity back.
Please...

[philw05]

I know what you mean bud. Like your just existing and not living. Even though things are going ok , you convince yourself it shouldn't be happening or that it's all a lie. It's as if you can't see a future. I went for a full check up , took my doctor some convincing but after he realised I suffer from anxiety he was very understanding and knew it was more about my peace of mind than anything actually being wrong.. I'm fine (told me cut down on drinking,as they always do) anxiety is very physical , if you convince yourself you have a problem then you may get pains in the area your worried about.. But that's probably because you've spent days pushing , touching and aggravating the area . Like stomach , jaw , arms , legs , chest , rib cage. Do what I do and when you get these feelings go and read something on the forum and see how you feel after 10 mins.. Once your mind is occupied they go away.

[aquamarinearies]

This is my second post here.

I just wanted to post something whilst my head was in a "less panicking" way.

Derealization... I've had it for about 6 years? Well, I only noticed it 6 years ago maybe. Is it just a perception? I literally struggle to feel connected with reality. I live with it fine mainly because I have come to accept it as being me. But I feel so detached from everything and everyone. I know I love my girlfriend, my mum and my friends and family... but it just doesn't feel real. Well, it does... but not. Derealization is something that can't be explained in my eyes (In my eyes it could lol). Its only since 4 weeks ago that I have felt so bad again... I haven't felt like this for years... Maybe never of felt this bad. I guess that is my severe anxiety that loves to tell me these things though. I haven't had panic attacks this bad ever. But I like to think that I have never felt this bad before mainly because my last "episode" I wasn't as knowledgeable as I am a now bit older now. I don't even know if this is making sense but i hope it is!

My main worry is that it is more than anxiety... To feel as detached as I am, it must be something far worse. I seek reassurance everyday. I can't just go to my doctor and say: "Any chance of arranging a full body scan, tests, etc etc?" I have so many symptoms of so many illnesses. What the %$^& is my life meant for? In no way am I suicidal or thinking to hurt myself. I love my body to much. (Not in a big headed way). Its just thinking long and hard about it... its pretty pointless at the end of the day :/

Anyone that feels the same way as I do or similar... feel free to get in touch with me. No doubt we can give each other some reassurance. More like add more worries to each other lol. (I'm joking).

I just want my sanity back.
Please...

Yes... I feel the same. What other symptoms do you feel???? My mind feels fogged and sometimes everything feels negative:(

[m123]

Thank you for the replies.

philw05, I will be going back to my doctors a week on Wednesday so I will try and talk more then. I always feel like when I get there that I forget a lot things to bring up. I really could do with a full check over. You are right about focusing on things. I worry constantly and always get discomfort. Whether its not pain, but just sadness. Its annoying.

aquamarinearies, my symptoms seems to be endless... definitely my mind feels foggy 24/7 and I have very little room for positive thinking lately. The fear of dying is what is driving all of this... the thought of whats after this. The thought of nothingness terrifies me... the thought of not being me forever. Life is so dull for me at the moment and it shouldn't be. It has been so many different things over the years too. Losing family members, going blind... etc etc. I have these things in my field of vision called floaters. Like circular shapes, transparent but visible. I had my eyes checked endlessly. But these are very common and I have learnt to deal with it. No doubt one day I will have another bout of fear of blindness with the way my brain works. I just want to feel better. I hope you are okay.

[aquamarinearies]

Thank you for the replies.

philw05, I will be going back to my doctors a week on Wednesday so I will try and talk more then. I always feel like when I get there that I forget a lot things to bring up. I really could do with a full check over. You are right about focusing on things. I worry constantly and always get discomfort. Whether its not pain, but just sadness. Its annoying.

aquamarinearies, my symptoms seems to be endless... definitely my mind feels foggy 24/7 and I have very little room for positive thinking lately. The fear of dying is what is driving all of this... the thought of whats after this. The thought of nothingness terrifies me... the thought of not being me forever. Life is so dull for me at the moment and it shouldn't be. It has been so many different things over the years too. Losing family members, going blind... etc etc. I have these things in my field of vision called floaters. Like circular shapes, transparent but visible. I had my eyes checked endlessly. But these are very common and I have learnt to deal with it. No doubt one day I will have another bout of fear of blindness with the way my brain works. I just want to feel better. I hope you are okay.

I have floaters and all those fears too. I understand.