Severe Anxiety

[m123]

I haven't posted here before so I am not sure if I am posting in the right section.

Basically, I feel like I am going insane.

I have suffered with anxiety and panic attacks my whole life. My 1st one when I was about 5 years old. I have gone through times without panic attacks but my anxiety has always been there. I have tried medication but that made me worse so I stopped. I've beaten my anxiety so many times over the years but since 3 weeks ago I have never been the same.

My derealisation has came over me like never before. I have had derealisation for as long as I can remember. I can't actually remember feeling like I have ever "been here". I have been to the hospital and had an ECG, blood tests, etc etc and as always have came back as okay. I can't help but worry that there is something worse going on inside my head. I can't even describe here how bad my anxiety is because it just comes across as anxiety... lol it doesn't even make sense. I cannot switch my thoughts off. They are 24/7... I am concious of my breathing, 24/7... I think I am going to die, 24/7... Checking my pulse, 24/7... This is the worst my anxiety has ever been. I actually don't know what to do anymore. I am terrified of dying. Mainly because I don't believe in anything after death. The thought of not being my when I die is terrifying. What has happened to me. Is this really just anxiety? Is there a way I can get to the bottom of this? Tests? I am just so sad from all of this. Nothing to look forward to... Its stupid because I should be happy. I recently just got a job doing exactly what I wanted and enjoyed. What is my life. Seriously. (I am not suicidal as I am terrified of dying). I just don't know what to do... I feel bad even asking for advise here as I don't want to waste any ones time.

If I do get a reply, thank you so much.

[Amy1986]

Hi :)

Firstly welcome, i have the fear too. Ive always been scared of dying but never to the extent of when my anxiety started. My anxiety (like a lot of others) is mostly do to with control, dying is the biggest situation where we have no control over it (unless sucicide) i recently started a therapy called EFT (emotional freedom technique) which in a nut shell uses pressure points on your body to re-wire your brain or divert those anxiety making chemicals whilst you talk about the fear the therapist lightly taps over your body on your pressure points (anxiety points are mostly on the face, like under the eyes) i felt like a wolly doing it the first time and kept laughing lol but after a few sessions ive literally never felt better, yes i still have a little anxiey but the specific situations that caused a lot of it have stopped. i dread the day i die, but i see that as to make my life as forfilled as possible in case i die, and when i do die, i wont know much about it when it happens so why worry over it so much when you should enjoy everything whilst your here. :)

[cat eyes]

Hi,

I have the same thing going on 24/7. Feel like I am going to die or pass out and heart papiltations. Been to the ER several times and called 911. Also been to a lot of doctors and had tests. All is good. Thank God. I take celexa every night and was also subscribed Xanax but afraid to take it. I can't take this I want to enjoy life.

[kiwiang]

Hi :)

Firstly welcome, i have the fear too. Ive always been scared of dying but never to the extent of when my anxiety started. My anxiety (like a lot of others) is mostly do to with control, dying is the biggest situation where we have no control over it (unless sucicide) i recently started a therapy called EFT (emotional freedom technique) which in a nut shell uses pressure points on your body to re-wire your brain or divert those anxiety making chemicals whilst you talk about the fear the therapist lightly taps over your body on your pressure points (anxiety points are mostly on the face, like under the eyes) i felt like a wolly doing it the first time and kept laughing lol but after a few sessions ive literally never felt better, yes i still have a little anxiey but the specific situations that caused a lot of it have stopped. i dread the day i die, but i see that as to make my life as forfilled as possible in case i die, and when i do die, i wont know much about it when it happens so why worry over it so much when you should enjoy everything whilst your here. :)

Who does eft??? This sounds interesting Amy1986.. I am doing MBt (mindfulness brain training) ...

[m123]

Thank you for replying to me. I really appreciate it.

It is something I might possibly look into... But I just can't convince myself that all of this is anxiety. Its actually destroying my life. Constant fear and my derealisation is at a level now where I think I am dreaming all the time. Its messed up and so am I. I am 25 this year... I just don't understand how all this has just came flying back to me 1000 times worse. Its like I read forums for reassurance but I will never believe anyone is going through this and its not anxiety, its something that is actually going to kill me. I hate it :/

[alankay]

M123, you mentioned you've tried meds but they made anxiety worse so was it antidepressants? They can cause anxiety(did for me) before working to lower anxiety. For this reason some docs in that situation will add a long acting benzo and then taper off it after the period of initial side effects passes.
In any case you'll need to get calmed down to really start trying to get a what is causing your anxiety if something in your past is at the core of it. If nothing is found I'd consider CBT, talking with a counselor and seeing a GP or pdoc about trying an ssri along with a benzo with the slow taper off the benzo(since the AD causes allot more anxiety for you) after the first 2-4 weeks and just stay with the ssri.
Also minimize alcohol, caffeine, practice progressive relaxation, deep breathing and get some aerobic exercise. You can also try valerian root, chamomile or passionflower teas, melatonin or even an OTC antihistamine to feel better until you can talk with a doc or therapist.
This(your symptoms) does sound like anxiety. PM me any time. Alankay.

[m123]

Thank you for your reply Alankay. As always I appreciate anyone taking the time out to help me. I feel like I ask to much of people because I get so fearful. I was taking citalopram but stopped mainly because my panic attacks went from bad to worse. But that was about 5 years ago now and this time round I feel like I have never had panic attacks so bad. Its like I can't even remember how they felt as I have never felt this bad. Everytime I think about it, I believe I have not felt as bad as I do in that moment. I will try CBT once my doctor can sort that out for me... I feel like I will be waiting for treatment for months though. The UK is bad for waiting lists. :/ I am literally so detached from reality. Typing this... they way I feel... I can't even describe. Derealisation is a pain... I just want to be slapped out of it. I can't remember ever feeling "normal". I should be happy... Perfect job, perfect girl, perfect mum... and I am like this... I use to be able to convince myself that all of this was anxiety... but I just really can't get it into my head now that it is anxiety but it must be something far far worse. I just wish I could be happy. Get rid of all these symptoms of anxiety... Sadness, fear, aching pains in my head, ears, heartburn, racing heart, skipping a beat (Feel it my stomach)... Ahh it just terrifies me. I am sorry for going on... I haven't posted on anxiety forums in 7 years. Thank you so much again for replying to me though!

[Amy1986]

Kiwiang

EFT is a speciality that a lot of counsellors do, you can more then likely find one close to you :)

[ivanas757]

My anxiety has also been going on and off for 10 years. Trust me everything your mentioning is anxiety. All of US here know exactly how you feel. And its so bad that in your head your thinking this simply has to be something. I sometimes wish it actually was something because then I wouldn't be the stupid girl with anxiety or another word for nothing. I have done many things over the 10 years. And have been with and without anxiety. I feel like mine is back full force as well an so I started taking zoloft again. The first few weeks I will feel worse and I know it but after the initial shock I am praying to be somewhat ok. If not I dont know what I will do. I am certainly not.suicidal because I am terrified of dying but I seriously hate living this way. Especially since everything I read about anxiety states that I am choosing how I think act and feel. So why in the heck am I doing this to myself?!

[kmarie30]

Hearing about all these palps especially how it was said it was felt in the belly is so crazy cuz in suffering from this as well and it's driving this awful bout of anxiety for me. I feel out of mind and body also. I'm giving up alcohol and smoking cuz it leads to REALLY REALLY bad anxiety days. I too want my life back. I'm young. I'm on a beta blocker now for the palps I've been having. Do any of you know how long you suffered from these palps for? It's been a couple weeks. Will I need the beta block forever now?

[Renee87]

What is a beta blocker and what do your palps feel like? I think I've had them in some form since I was a child and they come and go. I've had them more frequently in the past few months and my dr said it was anxiety and recommended magnesium but I'm not sure if it's helping. Wondering if I should get tests done on my heart. I had an EKG years ago but that found nothing. Thanks!

[kmarie30]

A beta blocker slows your heart rate and regulates it by blocking the adrenaline that causes the palps. It plays an effect on anxiety I hear. I just started it myself. But no palps! So hope that breaks the current cycle. Now I just need to get through this intense horrifying anxiety they have brought.

[dazza]

Kmarie - the blockers have stopped the palps, huh?

Well well... there's a result! You must be WELL pleased with that?

HIGH FIVE! :-)

[kmarie30]

They have been at bay. Only because of the blockers though. I hope I don't have to take them forever. It still scares me that I have to take them at all. Between that and the dizziness I'm still horribly depressed. I'm mourning my old life. I want it back so bad. I'm full of grief. It's going to be a long recovery.

[dazza]

YES, BUT, think about why they're at bay.

Adrenalin has been suppressed which says this was the main contributor, which in turn provides reassurance that you have anxiety disorder and NOT a heart problem.
Reapeat this over in your head a zillion times! :-)

I've heard of countless members on here with dizziness relating to anxiety and so you need to believe this as well.

During anx. attacks we tend to take shorter breaths, this leads to an inbalance of carbon dioxide and oxygen in our blood - which in turn can lead to a little dizziness.

Read this:

1/ You should try doing what ballet dancers do while spinning on one leg: keep your eyes open and focus on a spot that’s at least 10 feet in front of you. This little trick can be extremely effective in averting dizziness.

2/ First of all, try eating at least six times per day with equal time intervals between each meal. This will prevent your blood sugar from dropping too low and since the first symptom of low blood sugar level is dizziness, you will be well off preventing future dizzy moments.

3/ Also, you should try removing any kind of refined sugar and stimulants from your diet. Consume more apples, nuts, porridge and pears. Drinking 4-6 glasses of water is also necessary to slash your anxiety symptoms to a minimum.

4/ Adding Vitamin B6 to your daily ration also helps in preventing dizziness since it is very good for your nervous system, which is responsible for supporting your balance.

As soon as you start feeling dizzy, start breathing from your diaphragm (learn this kind of breathing especially if you tend to hyperventilate).

[kmarie30]

Well the dizziness that I experience all day is not just during panic attacks that's the hard part. That's what started this whole cycle to begin with. I was fine before. I did have an war problem about 11 months ago and once that was gone the dizzys started. It has ruined my life at this point. And no docs can figure it out. In my heart I think it all stemmed from that. The fact they could never diagnos it is what scares me. Will it ever subside? Is it possible you can be dizzy for a year after an ear problem? Will I have to live with it forever? Why is Ativan the only thing that makes it subside? I'm currently focusing on not taking the benzodiazepines just so I can get used to it. It's hard as hell though. I still cry constantly about how I feel daily and the limitations it gives me. Heard of that? I'm cutting out all booze right now cuz I was using it to cope at times but the anxiety from that alone is not worth it. I just want to feel ok one day. Soon