tired of anxiety complicating relationships

[brittany32888]

do you ever try to express how you're feeling to your partner and feel like you're speaking in a language foreign from theirs?? i don't know what's more difficult: having anxiety or trying to explain it. it's hard enough trying to manage basic tasks on a day-to-day basis with anxiety, but trying to maintain a relationship with a less-than understanding person, is almost impossible. do you ever feel resentment towards the other person because their ability to do things with no struggle or hesitation, when everything that is placed in front of you is like a puzzle? maybe that's why i find myself so angry and frustrated, because i'm envious that he can go through life without a care in the world, yet take it for granted? i would give anything to wake up one morning and just be. sometimes i feel as if i'm being punished. my inability to see what good may come, and only focus on the negative possibilities, within itself is a punishment. what i struggle with the most is anticipatory anxiety, and it keeps me from ever being hopeful. it's hard to dream of a better future or think of things you may enjoy doing one day, when you "anticipate" the worst possible scenario literally destroying it.
sigh.
it's a day at a time i guess.

[ATOMS]

Hang in there Brittney, :)

The Male vs Female communication has always been a barrier. My wife always gets frustrated at me when she has told me something and I don't remember and act like I don't know what shes talking about, and then my mind clicks and I remember. :rolleyes:
I can relate to looking at others and thinking or even telling them they are taking their health for granted. Once we feel ill for so long we realize what we took for granted as well, but just didn't know it until we felt bad/ill. Just remember there are a lot of people out there that have it worse off than you do.... Just take a walk down the halls of your local hospital or childrens hospital and look into the rooms, some of them would love to be where your at now "health wise". Sometimes I remind myself of this when I'm feeling down.

[ivanas757]

I sometimes wish I was one of those really sick people because at least then I'd have a reason to act and feel this way. I have terrible issues with my spouse as well. He wants me to explain what is wrong but then doesn't understand how I could possibly think this way and why I can't just stop it. I wish.

[dazza]

You need to educate your partner.
If they can't take it on board then they're ignorant and need a kick up the ass.

You could buy a book on anxiety disorder and ask them to read it?

Essentially, the uneducated view anxiety as something that only complete nut-cases get. "All in the head" / a mental weakness or "just being silly".
They are completely oblivious to it being a very real condition which anyone can get at any time.

Frustrating, yes... but once the reasoning has been drummed into their heads, time and time again - they will believe.

[dazza]

Actually, a helpful argument is this:

Ask them if they've ever heard of depression (more commonly known and accepted)

Anxiety is similar in the sense that the brain thought processing has somewhat malfunctioned and is unable to properly rationalise.

1 in 10 people have an anxiety issue.

[ivanas757]

That's is exactly what I asked of mine. To sit with me and read a book by lucinda basset and he claims he hates to read it doesn't have time. But ironically in the book I'm at the portion where it explains how in anxiety I may be putting off things to avoid conflict .. like ending a bad relationship.

[dazza]

ivanas - the most likely reason he avoids reading it is because he sees it as a weakness on your behalf and he doesn't want the responsibility of taking on what he perceives as a "nut job".

This is ignorance and closed mindedness at it's finest I'm affraid.

If he CAN'T or WON'T accept it then you're probably heading for trouble. His ignorance will eventually turn to frustration which could then lead to anger - making matter worse.

Perhaps in time it'll eventually sink in. If not, then you may have to consider ending it for your sake.