Outgoing, yet socially anxious?

[sem3720]

This is confusing to me. When I first meet people, I have an abundance of energy for interaction and I do enjoy getting to know people. However, once some time passes, thats when SA kicks in, and I have all of the classic symptoms. I feel like I make a good first impression, then when the relationships have formed, thats when I start to worry and sabotoge the relationships. It's especially bad when I'm entering into a pre-existing group. I have the energy to meet everyone and introduce myself, then after about a week the anxiety starts, and lasts for months/ years, and its stressful to go to work/school, etc everyday. Anyone have the same issue?

[Zanshin]

I can relate to this issue. I, like you, am able to introduce myself with energy, explain who I am - ask questions, etc, etc. Then I start worrying about the status of the relationship and if this person likes me or not.

The work I've done for my anxiety has reduced this a fair bit, but I'm still in a weird place with it. I also find that I will often act differently around people so that I can try and get them to like me.

What made you post about this? Did something specific happen?

[octopus]

This is confusing to me. When I first meet people, I have an abundance of energy for interaction and I do enjoy getting to know people. However, once some time passes, thats when SA kicks in, and I have all of the classic symptoms. I feel like I make a good first impression, then when the relationships have formed, thats when I start to worry and sabotoge the relationships. It's especially bad when I'm entering into a pre-existing group. I have the energy to meet everyone and introduce myself, then after about a week the anxiety starts, and lasts for months/ years, and its stressful to go to work/school, etc everyday. Anyone have the same issue?

The same thing happens to me too. Mostly with the opposite sex. Even more so if i am attracted to them. Like right now one of my friends I like hasent contacted me in a couple days which is odd because she would text me everyday randomly and talk all day. I have trouble sleeping over this.

[topeka999]

I know that feeling, too. I'm a great speaker in front of groups and make a fantastic leader, but when I need to spend one-on-one time with someone, I just blank and keep to myself. I don't know why, and I can't explain it.

[MainerMikeBrown]

I find that if I have a lot to say when meeting someone for the first time, it calms me. But the problem is that if I run out of things to say just five or ten minutes after starting out a conversation that person, it then starts getting awkward.

[lnieberding]

This describes me as well! I make new friends easily but have difficulty growing close to people, as my anxiety stands in the way of me opening myself up to new relationships . It is frustrating and I work on it, but I can't seem to be vulnerable enough to let others in to know the real me, for fear I will be rejected and hurt. Anyone else relate to this?

[duqgrad]

Same here. I have no problem at the beginning of a new conversation but it normally feels awkward the longer we speak. Making close friends seems hard as well.