ZombieMotions
07-01-2012, 11:56 PM
Hello I'll try keep this short, neat and to the point. ;) Sorry if its long, its hard to sum up these things!
Obviously I'm new here btw
Quick situation catch up - I'm 18 now. When i turned 17 i suffered from a bad panic attack at a funeral. In the car on the way home that day the panic attack was so bad i wanted nothing more than to be home so i could be alone to get myself together again (The guilt from having to leave the funeral ate at me and made me feel like a terrible person for many months after.) A Few days later (After the funeral) I went to the pub with my friends, the anxiety still hadn't left so i refused to get on a bus in fear of panicking. My friend walked up with me there. I was uneasy all night but when i was outside around people i started panicking again. My mom came and picked me up. After that whenever i tried to walk to go somewhere i would feel immense panic starting and would go back to what is now my comfort zone. I had to drop out of school as i could no longer go anymore. The doctor put me on Valiums to help reduce the anxiety, but after awhile she stopped as i was addicted to it. I have now had agoraphobia for 18 months. For the first 6 months i was trying to get a handle on the anxiety. it was so bad it was only the few moments after waking up i wouldn't be anxious. I had to hold my breath and fight through the anxiety just to go downstairs to get a glass of water. It was very bad around people and got the stage where i could only just about step outside my front door. When it first started i used to walk up and down my road for hours trying to get to school. But as it was snowing and cold when our school break started i stopped and the agoraphobia took hold again. I was in a relationship for a year while being housebound, He helped me soo so much and he still comes down to me all the time. We had to breakup because of serious stress caused by being together... I was almost better until one of his friends passed a nasty comment towards me and because of the stress i put into trying to get to my granny's from Christmas i crumbled and could barely leave my road again. This was 12 months into the agoraphobia.
Soo just the agoraphobia exposures - In July last year i started taking little steps to get up to the top of my road. It embarrassingly took weeks. But as the top of that road leads to the main street of a town its full of people going about their days and work. It was nice to finally see so much happenings going on, even though i was anxious i missed everything so much and even seeing it was nice. In September i got a CBT coach who each week i would talk about going out with and set up something different. After this and a few months i was able to go very far from home. Well close by! but i live in such a small housing road beside a very busy town, in a city aswell. So it's harder to ease in, being surrounded by people and businesses the second you go outside. It was tough but i felt the hold of the agoraphobia breaking and i felt freedom and control for most of it. My relationship with my boyfriend was very damaging and i was very dependent on him. I wont get into that as its no longer an issue and we're okay now. After my setback which i had talked about.. it was very VERY hard to accept that. Having just recently had so much freedom, i couldn't bare having to go through all of that again. I was so upset each time i went out, not feeling the same confidence and fight to be rid of it. Now i can just about go to the shop at the top of my road (with someone else) and around the close by area. I haven't been sleeping at all really so sadly I'm too tired to go out having not slept in days, or I'm awake at 12 at night and its too dangerous. (i usually do go out everyday at least once a day, but recently the bad sleep has stopped this)
What would be lovely to hear from people is anything from what helps you be motivated to continue getting your life back, to advice or even just a simple hi :D
I usually say to myself that if I'm worried about something that's happening later on, I'm okay now and later is going to be now then I'll be okay it does make sense, because you can never just jump to the future it's always just the now and other tips are to not fight your anxiety but just let it be there so it burns itself out. And for exposures it would be to stop, take a deep breath, get a grip on yourself and then continue to do what you want to get done for the day because your breathing switches off the anxiety for the most part so you can let yourself experience what you are doing so you can get it done.
Obviously I'm new here btw
Quick situation catch up - I'm 18 now. When i turned 17 i suffered from a bad panic attack at a funeral. In the car on the way home that day the panic attack was so bad i wanted nothing more than to be home so i could be alone to get myself together again (The guilt from having to leave the funeral ate at me and made me feel like a terrible person for many months after.) A Few days later (After the funeral) I went to the pub with my friends, the anxiety still hadn't left so i refused to get on a bus in fear of panicking. My friend walked up with me there. I was uneasy all night but when i was outside around people i started panicking again. My mom came and picked me up. After that whenever i tried to walk to go somewhere i would feel immense panic starting and would go back to what is now my comfort zone. I had to drop out of school as i could no longer go anymore. The doctor put me on Valiums to help reduce the anxiety, but after awhile she stopped as i was addicted to it. I have now had agoraphobia for 18 months. For the first 6 months i was trying to get a handle on the anxiety. it was so bad it was only the few moments after waking up i wouldn't be anxious. I had to hold my breath and fight through the anxiety just to go downstairs to get a glass of water. It was very bad around people and got the stage where i could only just about step outside my front door. When it first started i used to walk up and down my road for hours trying to get to school. But as it was snowing and cold when our school break started i stopped and the agoraphobia took hold again. I was in a relationship for a year while being housebound, He helped me soo so much and he still comes down to me all the time. We had to breakup because of serious stress caused by being together... I was almost better until one of his friends passed a nasty comment towards me and because of the stress i put into trying to get to my granny's from Christmas i crumbled and could barely leave my road again. This was 12 months into the agoraphobia.
Soo just the agoraphobia exposures - In July last year i started taking little steps to get up to the top of my road. It embarrassingly took weeks. But as the top of that road leads to the main street of a town its full of people going about their days and work. It was nice to finally see so much happenings going on, even though i was anxious i missed everything so much and even seeing it was nice. In September i got a CBT coach who each week i would talk about going out with and set up something different. After this and a few months i was able to go very far from home. Well close by! but i live in such a small housing road beside a very busy town, in a city aswell. So it's harder to ease in, being surrounded by people and businesses the second you go outside. It was tough but i felt the hold of the agoraphobia breaking and i felt freedom and control for most of it. My relationship with my boyfriend was very damaging and i was very dependent on him. I wont get into that as its no longer an issue and we're okay now. After my setback which i had talked about.. it was very VERY hard to accept that. Having just recently had so much freedom, i couldn't bare having to go through all of that again. I was so upset each time i went out, not feeling the same confidence and fight to be rid of it. Now i can just about go to the shop at the top of my road (with someone else) and around the close by area. I haven't been sleeping at all really so sadly I'm too tired to go out having not slept in days, or I'm awake at 12 at night and its too dangerous. (i usually do go out everyday at least once a day, but recently the bad sleep has stopped this)
What would be lovely to hear from people is anything from what helps you be motivated to continue getting your life back, to advice or even just a simple hi :D
I usually say to myself that if I'm worried about something that's happening later on, I'm okay now and later is going to be now then I'll be okay it does make sense, because you can never just jump to the future it's always just the now and other tips are to not fight your anxiety but just let it be there so it burns itself out. And for exposures it would be to stop, take a deep breath, get a grip on yourself and then continue to do what you want to get done for the day because your breathing switches off the anxiety for the most part so you can let yourself experience what you are doing so you can get it done.