work arghhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Serenity 7]

in january this year i woke up one morning feeling funny.and bang anxiety had found me.its never left me since.i have been of my work since then,and really want to get back.i dont believe it was my work that caused it.but for some reason the mere mention of my work.sends me into major anxiety.i have been avoidingt the place for months.but i have now decided to face my fears and i have been going and sitting in my work for a wee while.and im fine but when outside work i get anxious thinking about it.i just want to go back.and be the person i was.is this possible?.the thought terrifies me that i wont be able to go back/people tell me i will never be the same person again.which i refuse to believe.others say i will get over this and go back to who i was.i just want a normal life.and i like my work i have been there for 15 years so why im i scared to go back

[ATOMS]

I can't speak personally for your situation but I have a stressful job that I didn't believe was making me feel anxious, until like you I was off for a while and just thinking about going back made me feel anxious. I think for me it was fear of not being able to perform my duties like I should or having an attack and having to leave to recover again. If you feel up to it I say go for it. If I try and keep my mind busy I'm less likely to have the feeling of anxiety. I do notice stressful situations can bring my bad feelings on.

[Serenity 7]

yeh thats the same as how i feel.i feel i wont be able to go back and do my job like i used to

[laurandisorder]

The fear of going back to work (and failing to keep the panic under wraps) is completely rational and definitely logical.

I LOVE love love my job and have only experienced moderate anxiety AT work, but I always have some anxiety going back after a break. Luckily it subsides as soon as I walk in the door. I am a lot better when I'm actually working - I'm busy and productive. I do a good job most of the time and keeps me out of my own head.

Don't feed the fear and don't fear things that haven't happened yet! If I can do this, anyone can - I promise!!

[Buttercup]

I can completely relate. Around September last year I had a full blown panic attack at work after reducing my meds and it was horrific- I used to work 24hr shifts and have to sleep over at work so I was stuck for hours with no way out until 7am when I could call my boss and tell her I was unwell and had to go home. I then had to wait another 3 hours until someone could come in and take over from me.

Anyway, I struggled on at work until december but it got too much and I was off for months (apart from a brief period when I returned but I had to go off sick again as I was not ready to go back). During my time off my doctor increased my medication and I was put on beta-blockers, I also started seeing a psychotherapist who has been a god send! I also kept in regular contact with work and they have been great- offering me work in different departments, changes in hours and so on. Your work should be able to offer you a phased return and/or a change in your duties until you are fully fit, it's their job to support your return to work and help you however they can.

I returned to work last week (new department, new hours, no more having to stay on the premises for 24 hours and so on) and I have really surprised myself by managing to do it and by being anxiety free. I was dreading going back and so scared of having a panic attack at work but my therapist has been teaching me how to deal with them if they do happen and just having these tools is a great help, she has also helped me figure put why they happen and why I shouldn't be scared anymore. Have you seen a therapist during your time off or been taking meds?

Try not to get too down about it and look to the future when you will be in a better place. I truly thought I was a lost cause and would never work again despite being desperate to get back to work and have a "normal life". It took hard work and dedication but if I can do it anyone can!

B x

[Serenity 7]

yeh im on setraline.seen a therepist.once ,but i was feeling great that week.so she said i did not need to go back to her.my work has offered me phased return.which i want to do..one min im desperate to go back.and then the next mine im terrified arghhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Buttercup]

You should maybe try with a therapist again. It was pretty unprofessional of her telling you not to come back becuase you felt good that week. Did you explain to her how you had been feeling and about your fears regarding work? Work may not have cause they anxiety but you are clearly anxious about being there. Are you fearing what may happen if you have a panic attack at work? Or does the thought of being away from your house for long periods of time panic you? There could be many reasons you now fear work and clearly the fears have built up more since you have been off and until you tackle them head on and get to the root of the problem they will probably remain. I def think seeing another therapist or counsellor would help you to get in the right frame of mind for getting back and perhaps talking to your doctor about different types of meds that could help you since the setraline isn't working. Or you could go down the route of natural remedies and vitamins if you are not keen on meds and see how you get on with that. Bach's rescue remedy can help keep fear at bay and also certain vitamins and minerals like magnesium, amino acids, vitamin B and D. It can also help to meditate, learn relaxation techniques, eat well and exercise.

[Serenity 7]

yeh i think i was on a high that day and never really said how bad i had been feeling.i dont know if my meds are helping.i think they are cos im able to control my anxiety better.this is gonna sound silly but my dog is the trigger for my anxiety.she had a big op in december.and then had a reaction to her meds after it.and she nearly died.it seemed to come on after that.i know fixate on her.and convince myself she is ill

[ATOMS]

this is gonna sound silly but my dog is the trigger for my anxiety.she had a big op in december.and then had a reaction to her meds after it.and she nearly died.it seemed to come on after that.i know fixate on her.and convince myself she is ill

Hi Serenity,

It doesn't sound silly at all to me, I know my little dog can throw me into worries if he's not acting correctly or trying to tell me somethings wrong. Happens all the time. "your not alone" He's on heart med's, liver meds, and something else I can't think of now but he takes more medicine than Me and my wife. We used to have another dog that was this ones little brother and he had bad seizures. He was on more med's than you could believe. His big brother would come and tell me before the other dog was going to have a seizure... weird huh. All this could get me worried about vet bills, one of them getting sick and dyeing ect. Sadly Our Seizure dog (Patches) RIP- finally passed away with a massive seizure several years ago, then my Mom passed away about a month later then my Dad less than a year after that. This was a very tough time for me.

[Serenity 7]

sorry to hear that.was a lot in a short space of time

[Serenity 7]

i have never been through nearly as much as you have.which makes me feel bad cos i dont have anything to be anxious about.

[ATOMS]

Thanks Serenity, It was hard and I still have trouble dealing with the loss, especially my parents, (married for 53 years) but we have to keep telling ourselves life go's on and try to make the best of it.