Constant checking.

[HeatherD3584]

Does anyone else constantly check their bones for abnormalities? Is this weird. I've been constantly touching and grabbing at my jawbone because one side seems to have feels different. I don't know whether it's a growth or just a different shape. Now it hurts, but I don't know whether it's because I keep touching it or something is wrong.

Its keeping my mind off my other pains. But now this is just a new worry to add to the, I'm dying pile.

[savannah]

Heather we totally need to add eachother to facebook or something we have so much in common LOL, i read your other post and both my parents are gone also and i know exactly what your going through im the exact same way

[HeatherD3584]

It's good to know this isn't some crazy thing I'm doing to myself. That this is legitimately a thing that other people are dealing with as well :) I just want to move on with my life and live it. Instead of imagining the details surrounding the end of it.

[savannah]

Yes it is, And my bet is that you have that side of your face sore from messing with it so much, i did that once on the inside part of my mouth and had it sore forever

[dazza]

Will you just STOP feeling yourself all the time, Heather! lol

You're BOUND to find lumps, bumps & irregularities all over the place... our bodies aren't perfect!

I'm wondering what you'll find next, lol... a big lump in the middle of your shoulders (that's your HEAD dear, lol)

Sorry hon. I'm not mocking.

Having (health) anxiety disorder I can totally relate to your constant checking.

I look forward to hearing of improvements in your behaviour once you start you cognetive therapy. That should really help.

[HeatherD3584]

No no. I need to hear stuff like this. Just got the clear from my general doctor and the gyno, but now I'm obsessing about my jaw. It literally is something new every day. I feel a lump on the left side. I don't know if it's because I can't stop touching my face that it feels weird or what. I can't afford to go to the doctor for every little thing. I dont know where to draw the line. I really don't. What If my mind isn't playing a trick on me.

[dazza]

Heather

You have to stop with the obsession - you'll drive yourself insane otherwise and you KNOW it.

Take a minute to imagine how bad this could actually get (given the endless imperfections we (humans) have):

Why is one ear slightly more sticky-out than the other?
Why is one eyebrow 0.5mm higher than the other?
Why do I get hot in summer?
Why do I get cold in winter?
Why is my wee-wee yellow? (forgetting you've just drunk 8 cups of tea in the past hour)
:
:
You get the idea...
Could get overwhelmingly bad eh? (it makes me shudder to think along these lines actually)

You said it girl... "I don't know where to draw the line"
This is precisely the rational you're currently missing and (hopefully through therapy) you will find this line again.

You've actually become a perfectionist of your own body, you've set yourself irrationally high standards and you're now looking for trouble.

Leave your bloody jaw alone for a week (seriously).
You've probably got a swollen gum or even a below-surface spot. Prodding will aggrevate either.

If after leaving your jaw alone for a week, the lump is still there... THEN go get it checked.
(Even then the likelyhood of it being serious is SO tiny)

You know what you have to do...