wantmylifeback
06-27-2012, 01:31 PM
I would like to share a little bit of my story if people dont mind reading it and helping me out.
Im a 22 year old male. Ive struggled with social anxiety for the majority of my life, and I really dont know the cause of it when I was younger. Ive been on medication for the majority of my life. High school was hard for me socially, but i pulled through. I graduated high school and had girl friends and what not and always saw myself as a good looking guy. Girls liked me. At about 19, my skin began to break out with acne. From 20-21 my life was rough. I was going no where and all I was doing was smoking weed, working, and being miserable about my face. I decided to make a change and leave my "friends" and focus on me. My skin cleared up right at my 21st bday. Life was great and having flawless skin was only something i dreamt about.
Around July 2011 right before I was turning 22, i decided to enlist in the Navy. I didnt like my job where i was working and I had the confidence and motivation to do anything. My skin was great and I felt like I could be myself for the first time in a long time. Life kept going great. I was working out consistently, met new friends, girls, etc. I went to Vegas for superbowl weekend and a UFC fight early Feb 2012, and my skin broke out. I let it ruin my weekend. I got home and my skin got worse. I dont know if it was the stress knowing I was leaving for the military in a month or what, but my life took a 180 just like that. I became paralyzed and didnt leave my room for 2 weeks. Finally my parents and sister took control and forced me to get out. I went to 2 different dermatologists, saw an old therapist, saw an acupuncturist, went to yoga, etc etc. My family pushed me telling me what a great opportunity I had going into the Navy and what it will bring to my life. All i could think about was my skin. I was miserable. I finally got the courage to leave and ship out after my mom told me "do this for me". I did.
I was in boot camp for 5 days, and I let all my anxiety get to me. I was so upset about my skin that I let it control me and I got discharged and set home. I left March 13, 2012, and got home April 7, 2012. I was devastated but also relieved to be back home. My parents brought up me moving to NYC to live with my aunt so I could get out my small town in CA and live somewhere where no one knows me and I can focus on myself. I did. I moved about a month later.
Ive now been here living with my aunt and my cousin who is back for the summer from college. Ive been here almost 3 months and Ive gotten no where. Ive been miserable just about every day. Ive seen 2 dermatologists here. My skin looks decent but its not clear to the way it was 5 months ago. It still bugs me everyday and its the only thing holding me back. I have been a therapist for about a month and a half. Hes been pushing me to get out everyday instead of staying in the apt like I have been. Im just so fixated on my skin that i cant move forward. Ive lost 30 lbs since the weekend in Vegas in February. I barely eat. I have very little energy and I am constantly depressed and anxious. I want to go back home to where im comfortable and see if I cant move forward there, but my parents dont think its a good idea. I just dont know what to do. I hate living in this tiny apt with 2 other adults. I want my own place with my own dog, but im so stuck.
I just want my fucking life back. My life took a COMPLETE 180 turn within 1 weekend. I had my whole life planned out, and it got taken away like just like that. Im taking prozac right now and I dont see it helping. My problem is getting out of the apartment. I go to sleep at 2-3 am and wake up at 1 pm. I shower, try to eat, and spend my days on the computer. I have a lot of ambitions and goals, but im so stuck trying to get there. Im so fixated on my skin that its completely holding me back. I know no ones perfect, but going from having shitty skin to having clear skin and having a taste of that life where I didnt have to worry about my appearance to back to feeling self conscious about my skin again. Im extremely pale from not eating and extremely skinny. Its horrible.
My life has been a seesaw. I need suggestions on how to move forward and how to get my skin thats CONSTANTLY in the back of my head OUT of my head and have it stop holding me back. Thank you for anyone who takes time to read this. It means a lot to me. Thanks.
Im a 22 year old male. Ive struggled with social anxiety for the majority of my life, and I really dont know the cause of it when I was younger. Ive been on medication for the majority of my life. High school was hard for me socially, but i pulled through. I graduated high school and had girl friends and what not and always saw myself as a good looking guy. Girls liked me. At about 19, my skin began to break out with acne. From 20-21 my life was rough. I was going no where and all I was doing was smoking weed, working, and being miserable about my face. I decided to make a change and leave my "friends" and focus on me. My skin cleared up right at my 21st bday. Life was great and having flawless skin was only something i dreamt about.
Around July 2011 right before I was turning 22, i decided to enlist in the Navy. I didnt like my job where i was working and I had the confidence and motivation to do anything. My skin was great and I felt like I could be myself for the first time in a long time. Life kept going great. I was working out consistently, met new friends, girls, etc. I went to Vegas for superbowl weekend and a UFC fight early Feb 2012, and my skin broke out. I let it ruin my weekend. I got home and my skin got worse. I dont know if it was the stress knowing I was leaving for the military in a month or what, but my life took a 180 just like that. I became paralyzed and didnt leave my room for 2 weeks. Finally my parents and sister took control and forced me to get out. I went to 2 different dermatologists, saw an old therapist, saw an acupuncturist, went to yoga, etc etc. My family pushed me telling me what a great opportunity I had going into the Navy and what it will bring to my life. All i could think about was my skin. I was miserable. I finally got the courage to leave and ship out after my mom told me "do this for me". I did.
I was in boot camp for 5 days, and I let all my anxiety get to me. I was so upset about my skin that I let it control me and I got discharged and set home. I left March 13, 2012, and got home April 7, 2012. I was devastated but also relieved to be back home. My parents brought up me moving to NYC to live with my aunt so I could get out my small town in CA and live somewhere where no one knows me and I can focus on myself. I did. I moved about a month later.
Ive now been here living with my aunt and my cousin who is back for the summer from college. Ive been here almost 3 months and Ive gotten no where. Ive been miserable just about every day. Ive seen 2 dermatologists here. My skin looks decent but its not clear to the way it was 5 months ago. It still bugs me everyday and its the only thing holding me back. I have been a therapist for about a month and a half. Hes been pushing me to get out everyday instead of staying in the apt like I have been. Im just so fixated on my skin that i cant move forward. Ive lost 30 lbs since the weekend in Vegas in February. I barely eat. I have very little energy and I am constantly depressed and anxious. I want to go back home to where im comfortable and see if I cant move forward there, but my parents dont think its a good idea. I just dont know what to do. I hate living in this tiny apt with 2 other adults. I want my own place with my own dog, but im so stuck.
I just want my fucking life back. My life took a COMPLETE 180 turn within 1 weekend. I had my whole life planned out, and it got taken away like just like that. Im taking prozac right now and I dont see it helping. My problem is getting out of the apartment. I go to sleep at 2-3 am and wake up at 1 pm. I shower, try to eat, and spend my days on the computer. I have a lot of ambitions and goals, but im so stuck trying to get there. Im so fixated on my skin that its completely holding me back. I know no ones perfect, but going from having shitty skin to having clear skin and having a taste of that life where I didnt have to worry about my appearance to back to feeling self conscious about my skin again. Im extremely pale from not eating and extremely skinny. Its horrible.
My life has been a seesaw. I need suggestions on how to move forward and how to get my skin thats CONSTANTLY in the back of my head OUT of my head and have it stop holding me back. Thank you for anyone who takes time to read this. It means a lot to me. Thanks.