Anxiety...Illness...and me.

[nathan1010]

Hi,

This is my first post on this site. I feel it will help me if i can write all this down, so if you do take take the time to read this then please do reply as i take great strength from other peoples advice.

Ill start off by telling you exactly how i feel... I HAVE A SERIOUS ILLNESS AND IM GOING TO DIE.

One Wednesday morning 8 weeks ago i woke up suddenly at 6am, i could hardly breathe, my heart was racing and my head felt like it was about to explode. These symptoms continued for a few hours so i went to the doctors. They thought it may be an upper respiritory tract infection, so a course of antibiotics and that was that. The tablets made me feel worse (so another visit to the doctors) and they thought it could be anxiety.

At around the same time as all this began my girlfriend fell pregnant. She had some cramping pains very early on (which they thought may be an ectopic pregnancy) but after an emergency scan everything was fine. I have also recently moved to a different area of the country (Birmingham -Durham) and have struggled to find a perm job. After taking all this into consideration the docs concluded it was def anxiety.
I had a panic attack 6 weeks ago ( iw ont go into the details because i think they are pretty uniform) as it had never happened to me before i thought i was having a heart attack and my girlfriend took me to A & E. They did an ECG which showed a slight jump on the results but they told me it was nothing to be concerned about and it was probably stress related.

Since then my symptoms have increased in number and in pain. My haedache hasnt left me and sometimes can get so bad i feel im about to keel over. I went through a stage of my vision jumping and blurring whilst finding it hard to concentrate on anything for more than 4/5 seconds. After going for a few drinks with a visiting friend (vodka/redbull) (which ive since found out is a big no no with anxiety) i had the worst day ever. My pupils dilated to different sizes for a few hours, my heart was going so fast and my head was going to explode.

Another visit to the doctors, i went through all my symptoms. By now i was having stabbing pains in my arms, hands and legs. It feels like i may fall over at any point. I seem to float around all alien like. Ive got lots of new moles all over my body. My arms and wrists appear to have thinned considerably. I also mentioned my pupil dilation and the severity of my headaches. Nausea was also becoming an issue. By this point id checked all the symptoms online and had convinced myself that i had a brain tumour or MS.

The doctors went through several general tests with me. I had blood tests taken which all came back fine. They tapped my legs and feet (fine), blood pressure was fine, they checked my eyes (appear fine). They prescribed me some beta blockers which made me feel worse so ive stopped taking them. Ive stopped doing any exercise and the idea scares me that i may have a heart attack/brain hemorrhage.

UPDATE: I am now getting a strange feeling in my stomach after eating, like there is a pulse there. I put my tv control on it and it actually bounces.

If you have managed to read all this then thank you. I really do not know what to do next? Should i demand an MRI? Does anybody else suffer with these symptoms? Should i be as concerned as i am?

So today is June 25th, i still have my headache, my symptoms are pretty much as they have been since this started.

Nathan

[zojo]

Nathan I have had every symptom you have listed and more, going on sporadically now for six years. I have just started CBT and after having pressure headaches for three weeks solid they finally went. I do find that it helped to talk about everything that was worrying me and upsetting me.
I find that exercise really helps me. I too am worried about the heart attack side, but I say to myself that my heart is strong and try and say positive things to myself to get me through my attacks of anxiety.
My anxiety rears it's head when I am stressed or worried. It morphs into really physical symptoms, from muscle pains, headaches, being dizzy etc! Anxiety CAN make you feel all those things. I've been told to make time for myself and not feel guilty.
A few things that have helped me are:
Exercise
Rescue Remedy
Claire Weekes (look up her books on anxiety)
A fantastic doctor!!
My attacks are becoming less and less especially when I'm positive!
Good luck and I hope that makes you feel a bit calmer!

[joshbagosh]

I'm basically going through the same thing you are! I started getting these headaches which in turn came this spaced out type of vision! My headaches were so bad it felt like I could pass out or die at any moment! I get pains in my head, neck, arms, legs! Heart beats funny when I think about it too much. It's hard for me to excersize cause I'm always thinking I could die if I do!

I also thought and still do that I could have a tumor or ms or something wrong with my brain! But I started to feel better when I just kept telling myself "it's just anxiety, I'm not going to die! I'm ok!" since then I've been feeling a lot better! I'm not spaced out anymore, my concentration came back, my headaches are dull to completely gone! I started to force myself to run!

I personally believe its just anxiety even though it doesn't feel like it! But I noticed when my headaches were real bad it was when I was at work and when I got home they weren't as bad and my spaced out dizziness feeling went away!

Just keep telling yourself its just anxiety! And believe it! Your beliefs turn into your thoughts and your thoughts turn into your outcome, whether it be your thinking it's a brain tumor and your outcome is a headache or you think its just anxiety, you'll find that your headaches will diminish in a couple days!

I think stress has a lot to do with it too! Hope this helps! God bless!!

[Buttercup]

Hi nathan,

I can also identify with every symtpom you have listed. More often than not I am now symptom free- in the past 12 years I have had 3 bad periods of anxiety which really knocked me off course and I was off work for over 6 months each time. The symptoms are terrifying but they won't kill you, you have had tests done and nothing serious has been identified so trust in your doctors. What gets me over my periods of anxiety is seeing a good counsellor, therapist or psych. These professionals can help in a number of ways; they can educate you and inform you about anxiety (why it happens) and teach you methods on how to deal with it, they can help you get to the root cause of your anxiety and can put your through CBT or other therapies that may be beneficial. Along with that I take citalopram (an SSRI) and a beta blocker. A lot of meds can make you feel worse at first, give nasty side efffects and take time to work. They can also be hard to come off but if they help with your condition and let you life a "normal" life I feel they are worth it. When you get into a better frame of mind then exercising, having a healthy diet and so on can really help.

I truly belive that instead of damanding various medical tests you should be asking for a referal to a therapist. Many people's anxiety begins like yours did and many people have overcome it. Have hope and try not to let it get you too down. Unfortunately getting over anxiety is hard work and can be a long slog but it is totally do-able.