View Full Version : Anxiety caused by Family Friends
Yanni
06-21-2012, 05:14 AM
My brother and his girlfriend have been living in our house, and will be until the middle of July. I love my brother very much and I support him in his decisions, but his girlfriend just rubs me, my mother, and my sister the wrong way. She wakes up early, later than my sister and I, and always has a huge amount of energy. She walks around the house singing and dancing while most of us are trying to wake up. She seems to make my brother happy, so I don't want to tell him that I just can't stand her. I could deal with this for a while, I just stayed in my bed more and read or slept until she had calmed down, but now it's getting worse. Her behaviors are becoming more frequent. The part that is bothering me a lot now is the fact that she openly harasses me. She criticizes the amount of time I spend inside, the amount of time I spend reading, and my diet, while being somewhat limited provides me with what I need. She blatantly insults my intelligence. I have rather long hair and she touches it without warning in an attempt to put it into a pony tail. The insults remind me of the cause of my GAD, a teacher I had just last year, who did the same behavior constantly. I want to tell her to piss off, but I don't want to upset my brother. She'll go from being overly happy, to incredibly passive aggressive in a matter of minutes. She hates losing games, so we always let her win so she doesn't get angry.
I'm stuck in a terrible position. My severe headaches and panic attacks are back, but I want my brother to be happy.
What should I do?
edit:
I'm seeing a counselor and she thinks I should talk to my parents, which I have, but they said "they'll be gone in July, just wait."
I don't have a RX for a Benzo to deal with the very bad anxiety attacks I can't deal with myself.
I'm on a daily dose of Celexa.
laurandisorder
06-21-2012, 06:04 AM
That's a sh*tty situation! I'd go nuts - seriously. One option is to just take up being assertive and voice your feelings. You don't have to be aggressive.
A simple; 'would you mind keeping it down in the mornings? We're not all early birds like you!' and 'It makes me super uncomfortable when you touch my hair. Please stop doing it.' should suffice.
Or you could go immature style (which sometimes makes me feel better even though I'm an adult!) and do what she is doing to you. Criticise the amount of time she doesn't spend reading, hint that you can really tell she doesn't read enough. Tell her that all that fresh air must be sucking her brain cells out, warn her of the dangers of melanoma. Make as much noise as you want at night - it's your house! Try touching HER hair and see how she likes it. If she calls you on it, reply: 'I don't understand, this is how you treat me all the time?!'
It's petty, but hey. It sounds like you'll have to put up with it for at least another couple of weeks. Good luck!!
Yanni
06-21-2012, 08:23 AM
The issue is, I asked her before to cut it out in the morning. I have no interest in doing what she does.
She's totally different from everyone in our house. We have two people with full blown anxiety disorders, and my mother has a minor one. My brother is an introvert and so is my dad. She did cheer leading camp for 6 years and she's bipolar like mad.
This morning she criticized me for taking an SSRI saying that "I should just learn to cope myself". I told her that I can't, and she should mind her own business. I'm not rude to her, I'm abrasive, but I'm not rude. I've done nothing to deserve this harassment, and she continues.
please help me.
brittany09
06-21-2012, 09:07 AM
I feel for ya. I have gad w/panic attacks too,and sometimes even having somebody stay the night at my house is overwhelming when I don't feel good. Your parents probably figure it's only a month. Well,for somebody with anxiety that can seem way longer. She sounds like a nightmare. Don't let her bother you,I'm guessing she doesn't know you have anxiety and probably doesn't know what that would be like for somebody. Many of us stay indoors frequently and don't have the best diets. That's nothing abnormal. Talk to your parents more about it,tell them your quality of life is making you sick. Chances are she is irritating everyone else too since there are 3 of you with anxiety.
Yanni
06-21-2012, 07:03 PM
I really don't have an issue with people stay in my house or at my house over night. I have friends over almost every couple weekends for a night of games and chilling. My brother has his drinking buddies stay over all the time when they're too drunk to drive home.
She does know I have an anxiety problem, because my brother, much to my dismay told her. As you could see in my last post, she criticized my use of SSRIs for Anxiety and Tylenol with Codeine to help with headache pain saying that "you should just learn to cope with it." I've had nightmares about her being a horrible person a lot recently. I told my mom straight up today that if she was going to stick around the house as much as she did, I would likely need to bump up my PNR Meds appointment for Benzos to deal with Panic Attacks and need a lot heavier duty narcotic to deal with headache pain because they pain and the attacks are getting worse. She's trying to get my brother and his girlfriend out of the house as much as possible. I just don't feel safe in my home anymore, and it sucks.
Yanni
06-29-2012, 04:00 PM
so just an update on this entire fucking mess. Today we were at the beach and we were skim boarding. I tossed the skim board and rode it for about 3 feet before she stepped in the way and it ran over her ankle. She isn't hurt, but she got pissed off and ran back to our cottage, then my brother demanded I apologize to her for something I didn't even do. She stepped into my way. The night before she was making fun of me during dinner and trying to goad me into talking to girls on the beach and calling me gay and making other gay jokes about me.
I had a bully in 5th grade who harassed me with stuff like "fag" and "homo" and that really brought me back to some of the original anxiety feelings, no matter how deep they were buried. She made fun of me for wanting to play dungeons and dragons minis, a game I enjoy very much, with my friend and brother who are also at the beach.
Worst part is my brother has started to join in on the taunting. For some reason or another, ADHD came up and he goes "Yanni, you should look up the symtomps to that one too so you can get Ritalin,I heard that's fun. You know, jus like your headaches and panic attacks." I told him to shut the fuck up and that I needed those drugs and he called me an addict.
What do I do?
Help me, I'm a fucking wreck.
Yanni
06-29-2012, 06:49 PM
So over the course of three hours, things went to hell in a hand basket. We had a huge fight about if football was homo erotic or not. It devolved into meaningless fighting about everything and my brother, his girlfriend, and my brothers friend telling myself and my friend that we need to "be more comfortable with our sexuality to get girls". I've been openly bisexual to friends and family for 2 years. I seriously need som ehelp
edit: I ended up running to my room and crying my eyes out in front of my best friend. I had a major panic attack.
laurandisorder
06-29-2012, 08:27 PM
What a freaking bully!!!
I'm so sorry. How much longer do you have to stick it out with them?
Try to hold on. You're not doing anything wrong - you're you - and as long as your semi happy being yourself, playing D&D, dealing with your anxiety issues, you'll be ok.
And it sounds like this girlfriend is such a b*tch that she probably won't be around for too long - women like that are never happy with what they have and will move into the next best thing as soon as it shows up because as dumb as it sounds, SHE has low self esteem.
Why would she be so mean otherwise. Putting other people down makes her feel good!
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