Need advice for leaving my relationship.

[GadGal]

Hi all i don't want to be with my boyfriend anymore he isn't very nice to me, and I live with him so I am so scared because I don't know where I would go. Does any one agree that I should find somewhere then leave? But then I am worried I will leave and regret it an my anxiety will shoot through the roof, I can't even think normal with this fucking disorder. Please help

[laurandisorder]

It sounds like you aren't in a very pleasant relationship at all and I can actually relate to this.

Do you have any friends or family that you can move in with temporarily whilst you look for somewhere to live?

You could always talk to your boyfriend and suggest a break for 2 weeks to a month. That way you can gauge how your anxiety will react to a break up with the fall back plan of returning if it gets out of control and you regret your decision. If you leave and find that it is a huge relief this is a good sign that things weren't meant to be.

Put yourself first because living in a bad relationship could actually be contributing to the anxiety and stress you are feeling.

Good luck xxx

[GadGal]

Thank you so much and that is actually what I just suggested thanks again seriously I'm goig to do it

[Buttercup]

As Laura said, have a break and see how you cope. Also leaving for a short while may give your bf the kick up the a** that he needs to realise that he is lucky to have you. Being with someone that isn't nice to you and doesn't respect you is soul destroying, it wrecks your confidence and can make you feel like you don't deserve to be happy and you won't find anyone else. And as Laura mentioned, this may well contribute to your anxiety and make things worse. It sounds like you need to be focusing on yourself and not worrying about a bf that doesn't treat you like you should be treated.
Good luck x

[GadGal]

Thank you I understand totally but we have pretty much broken up I've got to go to work then go there and get all my. Stuff then go and live somewhere, but I'm so panicked I'm going to have panic attacks and not be able to cope , and I am really freaking out incase my anxiety has made this decision for me.. Do you have any advise to death with the "what if" thoughts in a break up and how to cope without having panic attacks??

[dazza]

Good advice above!

Can I suggest one more thing:

Try to imagine yourself completely free of anxiety - do you think the relationship would be any better then?
I mean, do you think that anxiety is somewhat to blame for the failing relationship?

It could actually be him/the relationship that is causing your anxiety? (because he's not right for you)

I've heard that, for people in a failing relationship, they often feel guilty & confused. They have contentious thoughts tumbling around in their heads like; "Do I love them? don't I love them? what is love? am I happy? am I not happy? what is happiness? are they making me miserable or am I naturally miserable myself?", and so on.

These tumbling thoughts can send people crackers, which is more than capable of causing anxiety... or worse, anxiety disorder.

[GadGal]

Yeah dazza that exactly what I think like my brain is going crazy with those thoughts, I'm not sure if the relationship would be better without my anxiety because I still can't find anything positive about it, but maybe this is what's making my anxiety worse :/ ah after this I plan to be single until I am a calm and collected person!

[dazza]

Well, if you can't think of anything positive about it then it's a done deal really - time to move on.

There's nothing wrong with being single (in case you're scared of it?)
Being single is a chance to re-discover yourself / start over and have some fun... and I've a feeling your anxiety will probably lessen because of it ;-)